What schools should I look at? NJ Resident, 92 UW GPA, 1280 SA, undecided major, maybe public health or political science

Not if I don’t like, tell her. She’s keen on marrying me off to a mysoginistic pastor and I’d frankly rather die. There’s no point in anything then.

I have to end up somewhere though :frowning: . To go to the farther colleges I need a lot of better stats. Like take Asheville or somewhere in Ohio. To her I might as well go to Rowan or X community college. I think that’s literally her plan if I don’t get into at least Howard or a woman’s college.

Like I’ll still apply to them obviously but I don’t even know. I’m sorry.

OP do you have a way to pay for applications to safety schools?

Your mother is OK with Rowan if you do not get into any of her reaches?

Yes, she may threaten you and it’s normal for you to fear her, first because you’re her child and you want her to approve of you&love you, second because she’s conditioned you to.
But if she does, the solution of finding a job and establishing residency will still be there.
Right now, just play&go along. Have 6, u, or 8 slots filled with colleges she likes.
Keep the others for yourself.
Or use the CoalitionApp for “your” colleges.
Don’t antagonize her. Slip in Spelman and Howard since you’d definitely get backing from your uncle for those.
Try to figure out who your adult allies are.

2 more cultural recommendations :slight_smile:

  • when the film Cè ancora domani (there’s still tomorrow) comes around, don’t think eww a film in Black and white all spoken in Italian. It’s about a beaten down woman and her daughter. And it’s both realistic and funny. Plus, sth wrt money you’re not allowed to have.
  • if you like thrillers and don’t mind that it gets scary, follow the hostage takeover in Tess Sharpe’s The girls I’ve been. Featuring parents even scarier than yours.
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No. I’m not allowed to keep any money.

Defintely considering

So how will you pay for applications to safety schools?

She’d be disappointed, but I’d also be within 15 minute range and would probs have to commute or something if I upset her

If the only safety school that your mother will pay for is Rowan, then that is your safety school….unless you find a method of payment that does not involve your mother.

Another alternative is to work for awhile, far away, and go back to school when you can do it without her. Of course that will be quite difficult, as you need money to begin that journey.

:woman_shrugging:t5:

Does the coalition app have a fee

Rent is so expensive though. Would I not be homeless or something. Liek when she threatened to kick me out for a stretch of time I had friends that would take me in. I wouldn’t in that circumstance

I’m not antagonizing her to you. She’s actually awful :sob:

I’m trying. I think I might lose support over Spelman becuase my uncles homophobic so if I can at least do Howard it’d be good.

Even a misogynistic pastor understands that in America, you cannot marry someone without their consent.

I get that the stakes are high for you. But need to stay in touch with reality. This isn’t Afghanistan…

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Is it feasible I get I to nowhere else that she’d be fine with? Like what do I have to do to become more competitive? My GPA really wasn’t my fault and freshman year I had one 89 and this year I take AP and have like one or two b’s. Is it my test score?

I go to a fundamentalist church filled with immigrants that devalue the worth of a woman. So yes, for me it is.

The law is your friend. Even for recent immigrants; even for members of fundamentalist churches. I am VERY sympathetic to your plight-- and to the dynamic with your family. But I think a healthy survival strategy for you right now might be to focus on college and to leave concerns about your future heinous husband aside. Hugs to you. You can do this!

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She said she wants me to start courting when I’m 18 and in college so it’s not that far off.

Like I can get a restraining order? Would that not put the burden of paying for college on me though?

I hope so.

This will not make you independent for financial aid purposes.

You don’t need a restraining order to prevent yourself from being married against your will. And I know you can do this.

:slight_smile:

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Really neither is near a large metro area which is what the student seems to want.

From her in general. I feel like without a barrier I’d also give in a lot more easily. I’m just afraid of messing things up for my younger siblings.

I just feel like I’m a pushover when it comes to her and I keep having mental breakdowns over everything.

Thank you though :heart:

Never been to Maine but I was at a wedding in New Hampshire and I didn’t really feel stranded. Everything was a lot more open though. Things felt more old timey and country. I don’t really remember much. Is it easier to get to like Toronto or Montreal from New Hampshire? But I’m not sure if crossing the border is a hassle.