What should an ugly girl do

College Confidential Community
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<p>If this isn’t a serious post, I feel like a d***, but I’ll assume it is.</p>

<p>Happypoo: people saying you need confidence is right, but here a few specifics that may help you get there:</p>

<p>1) Don’t judge your insides by people’s faces. Meaning: you look at everyone around you and they look happy and you think they all have it easy. Now maybe it isn’t you, but it was me in high school: I was an unhappy mug, basically 'cause of stuff going on in my personal life. I really didn’t think that many people liked me and I had only one person I considered a close friend. And then I was actually voted best personality and most outgoing by my class of 400. How screwed up is that? You would have looked at me and said he is one of the lucky ones. And you know what, I was. But I didn’t know it, so it didn’t matter. My point? What goes in your head is much more important than reality in terms of determining your ability to get by, make friends, etc. So work on tuning up your head.</p>

<p>2) I’m not going to give you some bs about trying to dress yourself up to make yourself less ugly (though if you haven’t tried to work on your looks through dress, exercise, and whatever else can improve them you might consider it, just don’t try to hard). What I am going to tell you is there are a lot of people in the world who are prepared to see you as you are – i.e. for your personality, not your looks. So work on this, your personality I mean. If you have a funny streak, maybe you can work at self-deprecating humor. Or at making fun of superficial people, whatever. If you are timid, appreciate it, wonder why, push yourself out of your own shell at appropriate times and find your comfort zone in stretching for more. Read, be interesting. Take up strange or interesting hobbies. You know the reason a lot of people get tired of pretty girls? Because a lot of pretty girls give up on their personalities. They get by on their looks. They have friends because of their looks, they get taken care of because of their looks. I have gone out with women who aren’t necessarily that good looking but who have spirit and intelligence. And those two things wear a lot better than good looks. You will find people like that, who realize that, more and more in life. And if you have developed your personality and worked at being a better person in a lot of different ways, people will get that.</p>

<p>3) And most important: be yourself. Yes, I said work on yourself above. We all must do that. But also, you have to be comfortable with who you are. It took awhile for me to do this in my own life. Don’t take so long. Figure out who you are, what makes you happy. And tell the world to go scr** itself, if it doesn’t like it. Take pride in who you are. This is what communicates to people, that you are proud. Work on your head, work on yourself, and be yourself and proud of who you are.</p>

<p>Good luck. I hope even a sentence of this makes sense for you.</p>

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<p>Couple things:</p>

<p>1) Doing activities which emphasize characteristics other than looks can be helpful. Doing activities which show your athletic/intellectual/creative/artistic/humorous/musical side might help. Many times you can make friends (or significant others) through common interests, not through physical appearance.</p>

<p>2) If you really do not want to be ugly there are some options:
Hairstyle. Certain hairstyles look better/worse for certain facial structure (ie: bangs help shield a large forehead).
Makeup. Helps shield acne scarring and helps get rid of discoloration.
Physical fitness. Having good legs/butt is attractive to men.
Large breasts. Implants can help in this respect, but certain outfits are more flattering than others. This is not a big deal for many people, but hey, it could help you.
Plastic surgery. For someone who is ugly this is a very real possibility and could conceivably make you much more attractive.</p>

<p>This might be more blunt than many posts in this thread, but this advice is real and my intent is to help.</p>

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<p>First of all…high school kids are MEAN. (i’m one of them :))</p>

<p>Second…I doubt that there is anyone else in the entire world that thinks you are as ugly as you think you are. You are your biggest critic…so why don’t you try easing up on yourself and let your personality cover your flaws. </p>

<p>Third…Why don’t you try posting a picture of yourself and maybe we could offer suggestions on how to improve your look or perhaps we’ll simply be so blown away at your modest beauty that you’ll be swimming in confidence by the end of the night.</p>

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<p>I know this has been said before, but if you feel ugly, that’s how you will come across to other people. If you feel beautiful, that’s how you will come across. Even if you are not pretty by society’s standards, if you put out a good energy and open yourself up so people can see your good qualities, no one will really care if you don’t look like a movie star. This is cheesy and tiresome, I know, but it’s true. And speaking of movie stars, not all of them are beautiful anyway. I personally think Sarah Jessica Parker is not really good-looking at all when it comes to judging solely on looks, but she’s a good actress, has spunk, personality and I can GUARANTEE that she doesn’t think of herself as ugly. If you think you’re having social issues because of your looks, you’re wrong. If no one talks to you, it’s because you don’t talk to them. Being friendly is good—TALK, make jokes, smile. People don’t not talk to you because of your looks, they don’t talk to you because of the feeling they get from you (which is obviously a negative one).</p>

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<p>You said you have an ugly bone structure?</p>

<p>Have you ever looked at pictures of models recently? Do you see how awkward their bone structures are (minus the supermodels- most famous ones actually do have good bone structures)? And look- nobody calls them ugly. In fact, if you really look, most of them aren’t very pretty at all. It all has to do with confidence. I know that everyone else has said this, but it’s true. That’s the difference between a scrawny, awkward teenage girl and a supermodel.</p>

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<p>Self-pity does no good. You want friends? You don’t want to be thought of as “ugly”? Then make an effort to change that perception. If you want more respect, it’s no use to sit there and make an excuse that you are, quote, “ugly” and “unloved”. </p>

<p>Be nice. Become approachable. Don’t spew this woe-unto-me crap. That only makes you have lower self-respect, lowering others’ expectations of you.</p>

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<p>I agree with everything that’s been said. An attitude change is in order.</p>

<p>Also, try “fixing” something you think makes you ugly. I’ve had issues with body image before. What makes me feel best is when I change something I don’t like into something I like. For me, I’ve always hated my stomache (especially during swimsuit time!), so I started doing sets of sit-ups every day. It took a while and some work, but now I love my stomache. If I’m feeling down, I think about that and it makes me feel better about myself. </p>

<p>Exercising’s a great way to build self-esteem. Getting a new haircut also works. Find a really great picture of you (everyone has at least one!) and look at that when you’re feeling ugly. </p>

<p>It’s not about changing how you look, but changing how you feel about how you look. If you’re self-esteem increases, you’re confidence will increase.</p>

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<p>A. HOW THE **** IS STEWIE GRIFFIN DOING THIS? HE HAS AT LEAST 5 POSTS IN THIS THREAD AND IT SAYS HES POSTED ONCE! …weird</p>

<p>b. if you think that you have nothing of importance or value to bring to a group or a conversation, then you dont. believe in yourself and your opinions and people will respect you, even if you may be ugly. be confident and think that other people may look better than you but you are more outgoing/easygoing, which is what makes you friends.</p>

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<p>The way you act in public is mainly determined by Chris Cooley’s looking glass self theory. In summary, you begin by acting like yourself, others judge you based on your actions, and you act accordingly based on how you are judged by others, thus forming your personality. Most of the people here are telling you to try to become different, but personally I’d advise against it. The people who try to change themselves to fit certain society expectations seem to end up with less respect than those that act like themselves. Even if you have to deal with making a bad first impression, the whole game to succeding in life is specializing in something and doing well at it. Whatever it is you lack, make sure you have something to make up for it. An example of this would be intelligence. Smart people are generally well respected once they reach the sophmore year level of high school, and they often tend to be unattractive but they gain plenty of respect from the rest of society because they end up working economically productive occupations later on in life. Whatever society has labeled you, learn to prove yourself more worthy than they had originally thought, but don’t do this by becoming a different person. To be honest, I basically went through the same thing you’re going through when I was in middle school. I watched others in similar positions as I try to dye their hair (***?), purchase $100 shoes, and form new personalities. These individuals fell to the bottom of the social ladder while I stuck to who I was and made plenty of friends in high school because I made it a point that I wouldn’t change myself to impress others. Genetics also helped me a little, I became attractive without really trying around age 16. In summary the two things that will help you the most are: 1. being yourself 2. hope the aging process is on your side and that you’ll become better looking naturally.</p>

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<p>Crouton: post count doesnt go up if you post in the cafe.</p>

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<p>Mr Payne’s post made me smile. There’s a lack of straightforward answers these days.</p>

<p>The bottom line is that looks do matter, however, personality plays a huge part as well in friendships, love, whatnot. I used to have horrible skin (and I still do, somewhat) – the scarring is there, and the acne still resurfaces at times. Even in those times, I’ve had boyfriends and potential boyfriends who well, liked me for the person I was. I just ignored the faults and moved on. It’s not that hard. When there’s something about yourself that you don’t like, you have two logical options: do something about it or move on.</p>

<p>None of this wallowing in misery nonsense.</p>

<p>You are who you make yourself to be. No lies. No pretensions. Love and respect have to be earned. People don’t dole them out on pity alone.</p>

<p>I make friends with people who have virtues, talents, or accomplishments I admire. I am a very shallow person in the sense that I automatically reject those I perceive to be ugly. However, my perception isn’t on physical features alone.</p>

<p>The point? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Give people something beautiful to see.</p>

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<p>check out one of those department store makeup stalls and ask them to give you a makeover. then go shopping to find outfits that flatter ur thin figure.
you’ll be surprised at how fun & productive it’ll be. </p>

<p>gluck, kid. im pretty sure ur ugliness isnt something you can fix in a day or two at the mall.</p>

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<p>There is no such thing as ugly. Everybody is attractive to at least one person.</p>

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<p>^ agreed there</p>

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<p>You cannot honestly believe that everybody is attractive to at least one person. Some people are not. Even if they were, the issue is that the majority of people do not find the person attractive.</p>

<p>Anyway, the truth is, all this stuff about “if you feel beautiful, you’ll be beautiful” and “maybe you just think you’re ugly” and “feel good about yourself, you’ll feel better about your looks” and stuff is a bunch of nonsense.</p>

<p>It’s only natural to want to look good, and I can only imagine how hard it is for someone who is considered unattractive.
If the problem is overweight, then exercise and diet until you find something that works. If it’s bad skin or complexion, use those creams they sell. See a dermatologist. If your face’s structure itself is really bad (something that cannot be fixed with other methods), consider minor surgery. I would say that surgery of any kind should be a person’s absolute last option, but sometimes it might be necessary.</p>

<p>It doesn’t help anybody to tell them it’s the “beauty on the inside” that counts. First impressions make a big difference, whether you like it or not, and working toward making yourself look better might be necessary for some.</p>

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<p>More likely than not, you’re probably not ugly, but you just think you are because so-and-so (who probably has insecurity problems of his/her own) told you so. </p>

<p>ANYway, Have you considered online rpg’s for social interaction? There’s a list of free ones at Wikipedia that don’t have a monthly fee (just search for “List of free MMORPGs”).</p>

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<p>Do people who’ve met you in person think you’re ugly? Or is it just you? Studies have shown that even attractive people tend to find fault with their looks.</p>

<p>Some people are attractive through no fault of their own (they didn’t earn it), whereas others are not so attractive - also through no fault of their own. Of course, there are some things about our appearance we can change, but there are others we cannot change and just need to try to make the best of it.<br>
There actually are some good things about not being super attractive. People are less likely to be attracted to you for your physical appearance, and yes, that can be a good thing. Those who do take an interest in you might be more likely to be interested in you as a person.<br>
Some really attractive people try to skate through life on their looks and don’t try to develop other talents or abilities… I’ve met someone like that.</p>

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<p>“You cannot honestly believe that everybody is attractive to at least one person. Some people are not. Even if they were, the issue is that the majority of people do not find the person attractive.”</p>

<p>I have seen plenty shows and walked outside and taken a look around to see that even the fat with acne, the physically deformed, handicapped, hell even the mentally disabled people have all found some one. Majority finds the person unattractive? How would you know unless that person has been to every single city, state,country and asked all 6,525,170,264 people that live in this world if they are ugly or not.</p>

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<p>…the point is – is a person going to walk through every city, state, country, and ask all 6 billion people?</p>

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<p>No you missed the point. Goldshadow cannot say the majority finds a certain person unattractive because that person will never really know the majorities opinion.</p>

<p>Fact is we all have different ideas of what is “attractive”.</p>