Sooziet, given the crowd your D2 runs around in, I can’t imagine anything more personal and entertaining than her friends singing. I think her wedding will be unique and very special.
@MotherOfDragons - agree with your post 509. Only like drama as a spectator sport, and even then in small doses.
“You mentioned that you don’t think weddings need entertainment. I’m not sure how you define entertainment but even a band or DJ is a form of entertainment. D2 not only has a DJ planned, but she also has plans for several of her professional performer friends to perform for a bit too.”
I think that’s more than a little different given what your D does for a living and her circles.
CD- we did a chocolate fountain and a caramel fountain! We had a whole separate room devoted to desserts/sweets that opened after dinner. Priorities, my friend!
Not for our upcoming wedding, but I own a chocolate fountain that I used for D1 and D2’s graduation open houses. 200 people at D1’s and 150 at D2’s. We went through lots of chocolate!
I think I’m the person that people are referring to when they say that some posters are anticipating drama. But the little hypotheticals in my posts are not meant to anticipate drama; they are just meant to help me to clarify my thinking about what I would be willing to contribute and under what circumstances. We are a drama-free family.
Didn’t mean to get things off track by admitting that I don’t like chocolate fountains! Thats sort of my point, though; everyone has different tastes.
Everyone has different tastes and there are incredible regional differences. I first learned on this board that some people are appalled if all out of town guests aren’t invited to a rehearsal dinner, while I never imagined anyone was included beyond family, wedding party, and their significant others. When I host my next rehearsal dinner, I will do so understanding that what I imagined was the way it was “always” done is not how everyone does it. And I am grateful to know that.
To me there seems a value in exploring these ideas on an anonymous message board before having to do it in real life.
I really used to think it made sense to start with Emily Post type traditions and modify to suit the individual. But not everyone believes in Emily Post, much less a western idea of appropriate weddings if such an idea ever existed anywhere except in the mind of Emily Post, and my Mother and her bridge group.
I can see the appeal of giving the couple a sum of money and letting them host their own wedding. I am not yet to the point of then having my name on the invitation when they ask their guests to bring their own refreshments. I may get there.
Personally I find having no real rules makes life more difficult rather than easier. But it is more exciting. And a bit liberating.
adding: I am pretty sad receiving lines aren’t in style anymore, but I’m coping. I did think they were really useful. I miss them.
We went to three weddings last year…and ALL had receiving lines when folks were exiting the ceremony. Guess they didn’t get the memo they were “out”.
^I am so very happy to hear that! 
Just really happy.
I have no idea why this one detail matters so much to me.
Thank you for posting that. I haven’t been to a wedding with a receiving line in at least two decades, maybe three.
Just had to chime in as the one who mentioned belly dancers and say my family actually IS Moroccan - but there were belly dancers last week!
And regarding this: “But when my son got married last week I truly believe his family doubled - and likewise, ours to a degree.”…(my comment) - I not saying we will all be sitting in our Christmas jammies on Christmas Eve together, but wow, what a bonus that we like the family S is marrying into! Extroverted is the LAST thing my H and I actually are!
You don’t know what you’ve got to deal with in a wedding - family, finances, event hopes and dreams, etc. - UNTIL you have a wedding before you. So, have your thoughts and feelings/hopes and dreams - but until the situation is at hand - and all the people and logistics around it - you don’t know how things will play out.
Not sure what DIL and S are planning for the receiving line: MIL won’t be able to stand long to greet guests and if the weather is hot, the guests won’t want to be sitting in the sun waiting to exit the outdoor ceremony area. Perhaps the bride and groom will just greet the guests as they leave their chairs. Pictures after, so wedding party will be the last to arrive at the reception.
I like receiving lines with bride and groom, both sets of parents only. But, of course, that’s what we did. 
At a big wedding, where I only really know one of the individuals getting married well, I really appreciate the easy opportunity to meet the parents of the other individual.
I love the custom of the bridal couple coming around and talking with all the guests at tables. But that doesn’t help me if there are parents, grandparents, etc I’ve never met before. But it isn’t my party and accomodating me in this way obviously shouldn’t be a priority in anyone’s planning.
S and DIL were the only ones to greet guests as they exited the church. That’s how they wanted it and because we only invited a few of our own friends (and they knew S at least) that was A-Ok with us. I find the receiving lines overall - as a guest and as a family member of the B/G - to be awkward outside of the bride and groom - probably because I’m introverted!!
I did end up greeting everyone as they entered the church to attend the service. Everyone else was otherwise occupied and I didn’t really have any place I had to be - so that seemed to be a great use of my time and then everyone got a personal greeting of sorts pre-church and post-church.
Most of the weddings I’ve been to lately have had de facto receiving lines, even if there had not been plans for a formal one. People just naturally stop to say hello to the parents of the couple and the couple themselves and voila, a receiving line.
No way in hell. I’m with your mother on this one.
I don’t think it’s lovely in the slightest. I think they are angling for gifts from people who they will not spend any of their time or money providing hospitality for. I don’t care if they serve sandwiches and homemade cupcakes or brownies: asking your wedding guests to bring all of the food is selfish and ungracious. Now, if you have friends who OFFER to bring dishes to help you out, that’s another matter.
I went to a bridal shower where truly the couple and their friends did not have two nickels to rub together and even feeding people sandwiches would have been a big deal. Per the request of the organizer, we all did potluck, made stuff in Corning ware casseroles and left the casserole dishes with the couple (and gave gifts as well). Technically not “correct” but I have a hard time being chintzy when it was no skin off my back. This was a fairly extreme situation though.
I’m still clutching my pearls here over the notion of a wedding reception at which guests were asked to bring their own food. But I just have to say that while chocolate fountains are a great idea for 13 yr olds, the chocolatier in me hates them with a passion. The quality of the chocolate is very poor.
OMG, does the possibility exist that MY CHILD would want a chocolate fountain? 
BTW, I know a person of Lebanese/Syrian descent who is superb dancer in that tradition, as, I gather, have been all of the women in her family. She said her grandmother danced every day until she died. It is a very, very far cry from the vulgarized stereotypical thing in movies and TV. She performed at the installation of our minister, as a matter of fact, and it was awesome.
Consolation: I was only exaggerating a very little when I wrote my mother never recovered from the brown bag suggestion. We had to keep telling her my very young sister (19) had only made the suggestion at the insistence of her fiance who was determined to offend all parents, his own included. Until now it hadn’t even occurred to me what his parents would have said when presented with such an idea. I know them pretty well. I can imagine it wouldn’t have been a calm conversation.
Everyone grew up. However, my mother never trusted my sister to plan a party on her own. She would have been so very proud of last year’s wedding. Sister and her husband really gave a lovely party. With lots of refreshments!
I want to echo something consolation said several pages ago. Mr R and I come from very different backgrounds and we’ve mixed some traditions, discarded others, and made some up. I made it clear at the beginning that we were leading the wedding stuff and people could take it or leave it. Sure, we bent for reasonable things but I wasn’t going to deal with the drama. We threatened to elope if people raised a fuss and they knew we’d go through with it.
Was I rude at the beginning? Yup, probably. But you know what? No drama (other than the digs at us for not including god) and it was a wonderful wedding.
Because we came from different backgrounds, we didn’t have much of a template for how weddings and receptions are supposed to work so very few “traditional” things were included. No bouquet throw, no receiving line, no stupid introductions of the wedding party where they awkwardly dance in (I can’t describe how much I hate this trend), etc.