What do you consider a “real job”? The boyfriend is an actor whose day job is waiting tables. And he has his own (shared) apartment, so it sounds like he’s self-supporting. And apparently he knows how to choose his friends. I’m sure there are plenty of theater parents on this board who would object to their kid being painted as a lazy “loaf about” who, as one poster suggested, might drag a college student OOS and onto the welfare rolls. Actors are some of the hardest working people I know.
So far I haven’t read anything about the boyfriend that sounds worrisome. He has an apartment and a job. Your daughter spends a lot of time with him and they’re having sex, but it doesn’t sound like they’re not using protection. The daughter is in college and it doesn’t sound like attendance or grades are an issue. The only thing that seems to be a problem is that they spend a lot of time together. And they’re sexually active.
The fact that you’d be happy if your daughter didn’t have a serious boyfriend until she graduates from college is a little troubling. What sort of expectations are you setting for her? She’s an adult. If you forbid her to have sex at home she won’t be celibate. She’ll just go to her boyfriend’s. If she settles down with an actor, that’s pretty much what their life will look like (day job + auditions). You may want to try getting used to that.