what to do...

<p>I've had a GF now for 5 months and I love her more than anything in this world, but I have negative thoughts...</p>

<p>I want to get with other girls too, but I don't want to lose the girl I have now, she's the type of girl I would want to marry and spend the rest of my life with but at the same time we're away and well what can I say, it's hard being away and I'm getting the itch of being with other girls.</p>

<p>Any suggestions...other than "taking a break".</p>

<p>you can't have your cake and eat it too. You say you want to maintain your relationship, so absence will really make your heart grow fonder. Be faithful</p>

<p>Well such a typical guy dilemma. You have to make a decision in your life if you want to think with the big head or the little head.</p>

<p>Kudos for realizing this and having the conscience enough to ask for advice. If this is the type of girl you'd want to marry, then why would you jepordize what you have now with other "flings" so to speak that won't matter to you next week?</p>

<p>But at the same time, this seems to also be the case of a long distance relationship. If staying faithful to your girlfriend is like a chore for you now, then it isn't fair for either of you to "force" things. And you should just end this now.</p>

<p>On another note, I am a HUGE Ayn Rand fan. And although this excerpt isn't all that relevant to your situation, I just wanted to share it. (I mean no offense, method.)</p>

<p>“...the man who despises himself tries to gain self-esteem from sexual adventures -- which can't be done, because sex is not the cause, but an effect and an expression of a man's sense of his own value... </p>

<p>Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself... </p>

<p>The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer -- because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut... </p>

<p>[The second-hander] cries with despair, because he can feel nothing for the women he respects, but finds himself in bondage to an irresistible passion for a slut from the gutter... He is the man who spends his time chasing women... What glory can there be in the conquer of a mindless body?”
-Atlas Shrugged</p>

<p>You could cheat on her and not tell her. You aren't married, you know.</p>

<p>Hold up playa!
You've known this girl for 5 months and you're considering marriage? even though you've been thinking about getting it on with other women? This is a recipe for disaster; don't get married.</p>

<p>If you love her, why do you want to place her to the side (risking that she'll leave) just to have some meaningless relationships. I have been with my bf for about 7 mths now. Yes I still find other men attractive but by golly, the thought of being without him makes me cringe. I dont think you know how special she really is to you. You say you could marry her, if thats the truth, then why desire other women? That sounds like your talking yourself into loving her. Stop taking her for granted. If you have thoughts of being with other women and are very close or considering acting upon them, then be more respectful to her and let her know. Its like your hiding something very important from her. If I were her, I'd feel "waitlisted." Kind of like you're with her till you find "something better." You need to step back from the relationship and really consider what your doing. Dont envy others who have multiple relationships. Evny the ones who have very few but long cherished relationships. They tend to be more fulfilling ;)</p>

<p>Just because you're not married doesn't mean it's right to cheat, cmaher! If you're having negative thoughts it may mean that you're not in love with her as much as you thought? Long distance relationships are definitely hard, you need to figure out what exactly it is that you want out of your relationship.</p>

<p>unfortunately, i've kinda, sorta felt what he's going through. My bf is very far away, and when I don't get to talk to him (because he has a test or I have a test coming up), I get antsy, and start getting these little crushes on guys (now, i realize that those crushes are actually my feelings for my boyfriend projected onto them because they exhibited something that reminded me of my bf). however, i would never cheat on my bf, and although i told my bf about this, he trusts that I would never cheat. our relationship is way to wonderful to abuse and perhaps even lose it.</p>

<p>Kids, when you have these feelings it's for a reason. My second son, a freshmen in college, is going through this. I sent him statistics on the success of marriages that start from teenage relationships. Very low! Youth is the time for exploration. You owe it to yourself to have many experiences so you know why you are choosing what you eventually choose. If you are really meant for someone, you'll find your way back. Part of college is the experience of meeting a wide variety of people, interacting with them and learning from each other.</p>

<p>Dump her if you want to see other people. Either that or tell her your intentions and have her dump you. Either way, greediness comes back to bite you in the ass.</p>

<p>Yeah, be honest. Either stick with her full board, or dump her and fool around. Don't do both.</p>

<p>Dump her like yesterday's fishwrap, and have all the flings you want. Your only young once.</p>

<p>College is a time for adventure and freedom... tying yourself down to a girl who is far away is shackling you to someone who may/may not keep her end of the bargain (she may find other guys!). Don't set yourself up for heartache... keep her as a close friend, and have a good time with other women who you can see on a daily basis. After all, there could be one of those "see yourself marrying" types right under your nose.</p>

<p>Don't say this is a guy dilemma. I've had very difficult days away from my boyfriend, and these thoughts creep into my mind as well. I do love my bf though, so I have decided to remain faithful. This is not "tying me down" either. I love guys, and I'm friends with a lot of them.</p>

<p>I am also very disappointed with lisa fillmore. I am so tired of all of this experimenting BS. Statistically, you've got the same chance of having a long distance relationship work out as a regular one. And it's not just teenagers who are having commitment troubles. Ever hear of the 50% divorce rate? Enough rants. One or the other, buddy. Love her or leave her.</p>