<p>My husband and I have been invited to the wedding of a young co-worker of mine. The co-worker, her intended and I are all attorneys in a government law office. The bride and groom are in their mid-20’s and this is obviously their first wedding, financed by parents. My husband and I are about as old as the bride’s parents (if not a little older). The wedding promises to be a lovely affair at a nearby university, and I am looking forward to attending. I have not been to a wedding outside of my family in a couple of decades. I suspect that a check would be the most appreciated gift, but I have no idea what is appropriate. Any suggestions?</p>
<p>Most likely they are registered somewhere. Target is a popular place these days. So is Bed Bath & Beyond. You could always check next time you are in the store.</p>
<p>Since you are colleagues of both bride and groom would you be comfortable giving $200-$300? Also will “the office” be giving a group gift or are is everyone invited individually? If you choose you can go in with the group gift, then you may choose to write a smaller check for you and your husband’s personal gift.
IMHO, the amount is determined by your occupation and personally knowing both bride and groom. I understand, different amounts for different parts of the country and occupations of the people involved.
Again, IMHO, folks.</p>
<p>If they are registered for something like china, a gift of a place setting would usually be welcome. Other types of registry gifts, like a nice tablecloth or vase are good choices. If no registry, a check is best to make sure they get what they like. Hope you have fun.</p>
<p>Since you work with the bride to be, can you casually ask her if she’s registered somewhere? It is best to inquire about a registry to get a sense if they prefer household items or money. Some brides feel that they will never get their fine china and crystal if they don’t receive it as a wedding present and others would rather have a lump sum of cash for something big.</p>
<p>If the wedding is very large, you may find that most of the items in the registry have already been purchased, especially if you’re late purchasing the gift. In this case or if she’s not registered, a check is perfectly appropriate - the $200-$300 range is right.</p>
<p>I never thought of myself as “cheap” when it comes to giving gifts…but…$200 to $300 for a co-worker seems kind of high to me…especially for attorneys in a a gov’t office.</p>
<p>^^^ That’s what I thought too, but I haven’t been to a wedding in a while.</p>
<p>WHen you check their registry (if she has one) see if there is, within it, a place to donate money to a honeymoon fund. Some of these mention specific events (such as “dinner for 2” or "scuba dive equipment rental) so you can gauge the amount of your gift to what experience you would like them to remember in your name as they are doing it.</p>
<p>I have a very different view on weddings. Aren’t they still that the couple invites you to share in the joy of their special day and not as gift givers? I say give what you feel you can afford and what is appropriate to your relationship with the couple.
My son is getting married in the fall and I impressed upon him that he should just be grateful to have people attend his wedding even if they don’t give any gift at all.</p>
<p>When we got married, back in the day, there were folks who attended who didn’t give any gift and we were happy they were able to share our special day with us. These days, with money so dear to many, any monetary contribution would be appreciated. If you’re close to any co-workers, you can decide whether you want to chip in for a joint gift or everyone but their own. Another consideration might be any shower the office might be throwing for the couple, that will also cost $$.</p>
<p>My niece considered wedding gifts of $200 from family members to be extremely generous; she has been married about 2 years.</p>
<p>Depending on where they are registered, Tiffany’s not included, there are numerous sales that produce a wow gift. We just purchased a wedding gift from a registry at Macys. The china was $100 per place setting. I waited and found: a sale on the china were you bought 3 place settings and got one free. But that’s not all. The china was on sale for $80 a place setting LESS another 15%. I purchased 4 place settings (free shipping) for under $200. Bed Bath and Beyond (always to 20% off coupon) and Bloomingdales have similar sales. </p>
<p>Three hundred (actual money) is a bit high for a workplace gift, in my opinion.</p>
<p>This is clearly one of the cases when a registry comes in very handy 
In my neck of the woods, a $300 cash gift from a coworker would be considered more than generous and frankly, almost unheard of.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m just cheap, but a $50 gift seems fine. I like to get something different–a marble rolling pin (useful for rolling out dough and keeping straying husbands in line), a pizza stone, etc.</p>
<p>The one gift that I gave that touched the bride and groom the most: for a divorced neighbor who had remarried a divorcee, I gave a photo frame for a 25th anniversary which had a place for the wedding photo and a place for the 25th anniversary photo. They appreciated the vote of confidence!</p>
<p>I obviously have no idea, but I assumed that the wedding is a formal, expensive affair. My gauge is to at least pay for the cost of my meal and then some. Wedding dinners can easily top $100 a head, so $200-$300 is not out of line for a couple. If it is cake and coffee only, the gift amount can certainly be adjusted downward. </p>
<p>If the guest has limited finances, an inexpensive or even token gift is completely fine, but for people of means, the gift should be appropriate to the occasion.</p>
<p>Ditto what ellebud says–
I have been getting wedding gifts at BB&B from a couple’s registry, and using my 20% off coupon (have to go in person-- can’t use an on-line coupon). It does save a lot of $$. I tend to aim for a gift around $100-125. The coupon keeps the cost in the $80-100 range, but the couple doesnt know you used a coupon (unless you put a gift receipt in the box and they return the item, I believe). And sounds like you won’t have to ship the gift. When I ship, the savings from the coupons usually gets counteracted by the shipping cost.</p>
<p>Don’t forget, you’ll probably also gfet invited to an office shower, so think about a gift cost for that too.</p>
<p>I agree with Gourmetmom, The rule of thumb is give a give that will at least cover the cost of dinner for the number of guests attending in your party. So, if it is you and your husband attempt to guestimate the amount of your dinner and buy a gift to equal or surpass that. Money is always appreciated especially if they are young. Also if they are young, it is generally safe to assume they don’t have much stuff for their home so if you buy a gift, definitely get something on their registery.</p>
<p>Do they like wine? Some nice bottles of wine to start a collection is always a good gift. We always give money to my husband’s employees, but friends and family we tend to go with gifts. Most people register for a nice range of items. You don’t have to spend $300. We have been married 22 years and we recieved checks at our wedding from $15-$500. The people who gave $15 dollars probably made a more “generous” gift relative to their circumstances then the people who gave $500. It was all gratefully recieved.</p>
<p>If a couple and/or their family is able to provide a lovely meal that might cost them more than $100/plate, that is their choice. If you are able to attend the wedding, stay within your budget. You should not feel obligated to give a gift based on what someone else is able to spend, IMO. What about the out of town friends/relatives who have to pay for airfare, car rental and hotel? Should they reduce the cost of the gift by the expense they have to lay out? Of course not.</p>
<p>Some of the most meaningful gifts we got, many years ago, were personalized ones that the giver put thought into. One is the door knocker on our house, with our initials engraved on it. Another is a german pewter wedding plate with our names/wedding dated engraved on it. I LOVE the wine idea. You can aslo consider getting a more current vintage for them to enjoy later , but celebrated the year of their wedding. Only problemthere is that you can probably get a current vintage white, but reds are often released later, so you might have a tougher time getting a good current vintage red, which will usually last longer than a white. Ask the salse clerk at the wine store. Thats a great idea!!! YOu cna add in a cool corkscrew, like a rabbit or Houdini (they are fun), bottle stoppers, glass tags, etc to make it a really fun gift.</p>
<p>Speaking of wine…if you are interested in giving that as a gift. I remember we got a wine of the month club gift. You can vary the length of time to give by something like 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, etc.
I thought that was such a great idea and gave us an opportunity to try different wines.
I know we loved that gift!! :)</p>
<p>Money is always a safe bet with co-workers. As far as how much, it depends on where you live. Around NYC area, 200-300 is about the norm. A little while back when we were invited to a young co-worker’s wedding, few of us discussed it and decided to give the same amount.</p>