<p>I have never received a thank you note for attending a wedding. It may be mentioned in the note thanking me for the gift but I don’t expect to be thanked for coming. I don’t send them a note thanking them for inviting me. Then they might need to send a note thanking me for thanking them for inviting me.</p>
<p>My oldest got married last summer and H and I felt that because the wedding was in an expensive resort area we would try and make it financially easier for the wedding party–we paid for the bridesmaid’s dresses and also rented a large house where the wedding party and a few of the younger guests (friends of the bride and groom) could stay. Most of these young people were in their mid-20s and either in graduate school or just getting started in their careers. I was pleasantly surprised when I received thank-you notes from three bridesmaids. I also got thank-you notes from quite a few of my friends who said what a lovely time they had and that they were happy to be included. I felt quite honored that they did this–I hadn’t expected it. I have to say that it was a wonderful party and I was happy that some of the guests felt the same way.</p>
<p>lindz126 - The bride was most likely unsure as to whether the gift was meant as an engagement gift or a wedding present so she sent a thank you that would cover both possibilities. Not surprised you didn’t get a second thank you note for attending, if she had thanked you in person, but I’m positive that that had nothing to do with feeling your gift was not up to par - it was because she felt she was covered by her previous note.</p>
<p>I thought it was customary for the bridal party to cover the travel expenses of their attendants. I purchased the plane tickets and paid the hotel charges for my out of town bridesmaids, although they paid for their own dresses.</p>
<p>No, although wonderfully generous, to pay for plane tickets and/or accommodations at a destination wedding it is not expected. We have gone to several destination weddings, as guests, not attendents. You have to REALLY love the couple or the parents, or really have to go because you like the destination or its importent for business.</p>
<p>I love to write notes, I always write a thank you when we are invited to a dinner party, holiday party, cocktail party, wedding whatever. We were taken out to an amazing private club in London a few years ago. I asked my husband for our hosts address so I could write a note, my sister-in-law blew up at me, telling me we had already thanked him in person so I was being ridiculous. Well I wrote the note, received a nice note in return. I think it helps future business dealings, plus as I said I love to write notes and letters!</p>
<p>Your S-I-L is wrong (as you know). A sincere thank-you note or any naote of appreciation is never incorrect.</p>
<p>My mother is a fanatic about thank-you notes. I did succeed in passing their importance on to my D. I started little scribbly thank-you notes with her before she could even write her name.</p>
<p>I have never given more than $100 as a wedding gift. I’ve had several weddings in recent years of close friends, and I thought that was a fairly nice gift.</p>