What to say when someone asks for blessing to marry D

Parent Cafe
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<p>The night before our wedding, my husband and I practiced the foxtrot in my dad’s near-empty living room, as eyes and cameras peeked around corners to watch. It was getting pretty close to midnight, and being that we’re of the Irish Catholic and very superstitious persuasion, there was no way we were going to risk seeing each other on our wedding day just because we wanted to get our first dance perfect… Once we saw that it was 11:45PM, my dad offered to drive my groom back to his hotel so that I wouldn’t have to drive quickly and punt him out of the car.</p>

<p>On the drive back, my husband goes, “Oh, crap. Aibarr’s dad, I keep meaning to ask… um… if I can have your daughter’s hand in marriage…”
My dad snorks aloud and says, “I <em>guess</em> so…!”
They had a good little laugh about it. I didn’t hear this story until several weeks after the wedding.</p>

<p>So, to answer your question, I’d congratulate the young man on not procrastinating until the eve of the wedding!</p>

22

<p>Congrats to you! No advice. I think it is old fashioned and charming all at once.</p>

23

<p>He isn’t asking for permission, he’s asking for a “blessing”. So come prepared with your favorite mumbo-jumbo.</p>

24

<p>LOL. It would never have occurred to my H to ask my dad. My niece’s H did as her dad, and he replied ‘what if I said no?’. I guess that’s one way to get the ball rolling…</p>

<p>Maybe you can tell your future sil about D’s early days, what a cutie she was, etc.</p>

<p>Enjoy your day!</p>

25

<p>Oh, I’m in tears! How sweet! God’s blessings to you and your family.</p>

26

<p>I would thank him for asking you. It’s a sweet custom, even though in this day and age it isn’t often observed (or needed).</p>

27

<p>I might say, “Marriages founder most often on finances, sex, and family. Now that you’ve cleared up the 3rd item, let me just say I hope you pay the appropriate attention to items 1 and 2. No need to discuss.”</p>

28

<p>I think it is just so sweet that he is taking the day off and asked you two to lunch. No wonder you like him.</p>

29

<p>Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu…</p>

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<p>I’ve never even thought of this issue, so no advice - am curious how finances are generally handled. Are pre-marriage assets and debts usually kept separate or do they get combined into the family balance sheet, especially if one has some money put aside and the other has college debts? Is it the norm to combine incomes into one account and pay for all expenses as one, or do most new couples keep separate accounts?</p>

31

<p>since there is no D2,
you’re off my potential in-law list.
Congrats. Many grandkids to you.</p>

32

<p>LongPrime - you never give up, do you? Does your son know what your are doing? He probably has a girlfriend in every town, and he is just not telling you about it.</p>

33

<p>I’ve got two. What were his SAT scores?</p>

34

<p>^^^You want to know his credit scores, not SAT scores now.</p>

35

<p>We STILL haven’t set up the CC matchmaking service? Good lord.</p>

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<p>Finances are the #1 reason for divorce.
I would ask them to sit down with you and find out how they view debt, credit card balances, balancing checkbooks, car payments (or not), student loan debts, % down payment on house, developing a budget that both support and agree to (written down), savings, IRA’s, emergency fund, etc.</p>

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<p>mini, its not about the SATs but what you can do with them that counts, isn’t that what we know about us?</p>

<p>I’m getting real tight with some of the posts. I gotta liven up the old timers.</p>

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<p>I wonder if this is any of my business now they are adults and financially self-sufficient. That’s why I recommended pre-marital counseling to D.</p>

<p>Thanks for the advice and suggestions. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.</p>

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<p>Laughwithme - if I was the kid, I’d be laughing at you, or totally furious with you! Yes, they need to work these things out, but not with you! :)</p>

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<p>cbreeze, I don’t think that’s any of your business. I’d make sure your dd has thought of those things, and then it’s up to her to decide how t discuss with her future husband.</p>

<p>LP, I can’t wait until he finds the right one. We’ll have big hats and scones, just like for the royal wedding.</p>