<p>Academics, job-wise, what would make you ashamed of your child?</p>
<p>Just a curious question, tis all.</p>
<p>Cheating at school or stealing on the job.</p>
<p>Ditto, ejr1.
And I can’t say I’d be too thrilled about being the mom of the AV in the Duke LaCrosse scandal…</p>
<p>Ditto. Also deliberately mistreating someone.</p>
<p>not making an effort to be successful. you can’t win all the time, but you can try all the time.</p>
<p>Shame - A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace</p>
<p>So if your child copied a paper off of the internet you’d feel a strong sense of disgrace toward your child?</p>
<p>Are you saying you’ve always had perfect ethics and morals yourself and/or hold your child up to some standard of perfection?</p>
<p>While I’d certainly not condone cheating there’s no way I’d feel ashamed of my child as I’ve probably cheated in many ways myself (not working as hard as I should have on my job, not shuffling the cards fully in a game of euchre or by using the Internet for writing an MBA paper and not fully providing all the sources).</p>
<p>my parents would be ashamed if i were caught cheating
my parents would be ashamed if i were caught breaking the law
my parents would be ashamed if i were to go to my state school for college
my parents would be ashamed if they were to hear i mistreated someone
my parents would be ashamed if i got pregnant</p>
<p>I wouldn’t so much be ashamed of them for doing the above, I would be reallllllly sad, because some of the actions have consequences that last a lifetime…</p>
<p>Going to a state college, no problem</p>
<p>Pregnant, not shame, but support</p>
<p>What would make me ashamed of my child? If they hurt another person- it would be a blend of saddness, and shame I guess…</p>
<p>“my parents would be ashamed if i were to go to my state school for college”</p>
<p>What?</p>
<p>What kind of parents would be ashamed of a kid going to a great school like those in the Big 10?</p>
<p>I couldn’t be more proud of my daughter starting at the U of MN this fall. It’s a fantastic school, a GREAT financial option and will provide a ton of challenges for her in the honors program.</p>
<p>jimbob,</p>
<p>Going to a state school or getting pregnant would lead to shame?</p>
<p>Boy, your parents have an awfully low threshold.</p>
<p>Cheering for the Yankees.</p>
<p>What works for me is :</p>
<ol>
<li>Let he who be without sin cast the first stone.</li>
</ol>
<p>I may not always be happy with everything that my child does, there may come a time where she may do something that is definitely not one of her proudest moments, and I am not going to uphold her wrong and strong. No matter what happens she is still going to be my child, and I will still love her. if she asks to be forgiven, then I must forgive. Remember you can hate the sin but still love the sinner.</p>
<ol>
<li>There is no worse prison than the one you make for yourself.</li>
</ol>
<p>Initiating some of the posts I’ve seen here on CC. (Not neccessarily this one, so no flames…)</p>
<p>I have a niece I adore. Academics and job-wise, I’d be ashamed if I thought she was hurting other people by cheating, stealing, or mooching off the government. I would probably also be ashamed if she became a tobacco company spokesman, or an activist for a cause I find repugnant (like picketing gay people’s funerals).</p>
<p>If she dropped out of high school and was flipping burgers at age 35, I’d be disappointed, but not ashamed.</p>
<p>what if you taught only peace and your kid joined the Marines?</p>
<p>If my niece told me she’d joined the Marines, I’d be too busy panicking and praying to make any other judgments. I broke out in a cold sweat just at the thought.</p>
<p>Peace through strength, celloguy.</p>
<p>I doubt that any parents on this board have not been disappointed in their children at one time or another. But ashamed? I can’t think of anything that would make me ashamed of them. If they did something really awful, I’d wonder where I’d gone wrong. I might be devasted and mortified, and sorry and worried, but I’m not sure I’d be ashamed.
I’d be more concerned about getting them help than worrying what other people were thinking. At least, I hope so.</p>
<p>ASAP: “getting them help”</p>
<p>Agreed. Do you know of any deprogramming resources? The military has a powerful marketing presence, and they offer toys, travel, prestige to kids willing to learn the trade. I can’t say I’m ashamed, exactly, because adult kids make their own decisions and parents can only do what they can. The “peace through strength” argument has merit, but recent history strains that argument. Bombing civilians from the air, though, is a shameful occupation.</p>
<p>Voting Republican</p>