<p>I admit that I came back to my parents’ house from college the first Thanksgiving. But, S’s college doesn’t get out until noon the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, it is a minimum 2-1/4 hour flight and we are in a one hour later time zone than his college. AND, he is within a short driving distance of skiing where there usually is enough snow base at Thanksgiving to have some fun. He asked for a 5 mountain ski pass for his up-coming 19th B-day. I think I know what’s coming.</p>
<p>So, what if your S or D declines to make it back to your house for Thanksgiving his or her freshman year? Acceptable? Or, crisis?</p>
<p>I didn’t go home for any Thanksgivings when I was in college. It involved flying with a layover. Just not worth it. I always went home with a friend. It’s no big deal; Christmas break is JUST around the corner from Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>My kids will be coming home, though- they’re only a few hours drive away.</p>
<p>Because of the cost and hassle, a lot of kids spend Thanksgiving with a local friend. (Most dorms are closed.) I like my kids home for holidays, but, this year, well, we’ll see!</p>
<p>We had plans to fly west to see family for Thanksgiving, but have already been informed by D that she will probably not be able to go. They’ve got their final project due the Monday after the long weekend, and it appears that it’s designed to give them that weekend to finish it. Hence we will remain at home and be on call to dish out turkey to D and whoever comes home with her on the 4 hour drive, or to go up to the frostbitten fingerlakes of New York to celebrate at an inn up there . . . actually this could be kind of fun!</p>
<p>I certainly didn’t go “home” when my parents were living in Africa! I had some pretty nightmarish trips - Standing on the train all the way from Boston to NY and still a few more hours to get to DC… Hours on the Cross Bronx Expressway while traffic stood still… Travelling on Thanksgiving is such a pain I can forgive a kid who decides to forgo it.</p>
<p>Classes are still held on Wednesday and restart again on Monday. Travel is a nightmare. So over the past couple of years, we’ve invited S’s roommates to share Thanksgiving with us.</p>
<p>Acceptable, though I’d be surprised if S doesn’t come home since I already have invited his roommate and some foreign exchange students from his college to join us. :)</p>
<p>S#1 made the cross country trek the past 2 years for T-Day. Tough Tough Tough commute, even getting Wednesday off like his school does. East to West isn’t so bad, it’s the getting back that’s the killer. And the weather is so darned iffy. </p>
<p>First year he desperately wanted to come home. Last year I think he felt like he should. This year, don’t expect to see him unless we rendezvous at a relative’s home in his neck of the woods. He’s already indicated a desire NOT to make that cross country trek just to eat Mom’s cooking.</p>
<p>Freshman D won’t even have the option. She could fly in for a few hours and immediately have to return to campus due to commitments. (No sure she can even do that!) We’re looking at a very strange Thanksgiving. But Igglesfan might be on to something with her suggestion of an inn up by the fingerlakes… But that means messing up S#2’s west coast stuff. Darn. Anybody figured out how to please all the people all the time yet? No? Oh well, I guess that first Thanksgiving “apart” has to happen eventually.</p>
<p>Actually, I agree that even attempting to fly on Thanksgiving “Eve” is hardly worth the effort. I’d take the opportunity to go skiing. But, that is S’s decision to make.</p>
<p>I am (pleasantly) surprised that no poster has expressed a concern that the absence of their S or D would be distressful/ disruptive to the parents’ peace of mind or sense of “family tradition.”</p>
<p>I think that part of the independence that should be developing in my S includes the decision on what and where he wants to be (self-determination). I want to quickly add that my S will be spending his own money if he doesn’t join us at Thanksgiving which is another necessary component of his adult decision making, i.e., self-sufficiency.</p>
<p>ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad that is a thought W and I have discussed for another year, but we have already booked a cabin in the Texas hill country for Thanksgiving. S is invited, but it still would entail a lot of travel and very little time on the ground.</p>
<p>at last years thanksgiving dinner with all the relatives, I made a toast and said that it would probably be the last year we are all together, knowing that D would not fly back</p>
<p>it is near my H bday, so he is sad, but he sees the practicality of staying in NYC or there abouts</p>
<p>Poor soul, having to watch the parade and hang in NYC…awwww…feel so bad for her…</p>
<p>Totally acceptable to not come home for Tday, especially with those circumstances. I told my son (who was only a half hour away) that he was expected for dinner and welcome to bring any “orphans” who couldn’t get home. His roommates were all local so it didn’t come up, but I would have been happy to feed a student who didn’t get to his/her home base.</p>
<p>Since I spent so many Thanksgivings away from home during school (including a few years in Italy) I started my own “gathering of the orphans”
tradition. We still ALWAYS have 3-4 people (grownups and students) who are away from home or just without close family. Having guests who have no family makes us that much more thankfull for having our own loved ones nearby.</p>
<p>With finals week early December, and the Fall Quarter ending Dec.9, D has never come home for TG. With plenty of local invites, she and friends had a great time, instead of the harrowing airport ordeals.</p>
<p>S will come home as he is a 2-hour drive away, and hopefully will bring a few new friends who have nowhere to go.</p>
<p>It’s a 3-hour non-stop flight each way, to and from comparatively small airports (Albuquerque and Seatac). If he doesn’t show up he’s a dead man. Have a nice day!</p>
<p>My S always comes home since he has five days off - and then he takes my car back with him since the semester is over 2-1/2 wks later, and I don’t want to drive out there (6 hour drive ea way). </p>
<p>He always brings home kids who live on the west coast or further east… for spring break last year, we had five of his friends from Oregon, Idaho, and Europe stay with us for the whole week. They all went to DC to see the sites, and of course, we made them go fencing! Nothing like a well-rounded vacation!</p>