What's it like thinking about your college years?

<p>There have been many gleaming bright spots at all stages of my life. There have also been a few hours/days of misery. College was no exception. I did make some life-long friends there, I did experiment in ways I would never consider now that I am older and wiser. I went to an extremely liberal school and graduated as someone who believed that you either saw the world in my way…ultra left, or you were wrong. I no longer think that way but I will always hold on to many of the precepts I acquired at my university. So the answers to your questions are “both.” Yes those cliches hold true, in part, but also, it is just another stage of life.</p>

<p>I think that the college scene today is nearly identical in some respects to the 1960s and 1970s (drinking, sexual activity, etc.-see curmudgeon’s comments), but in other respects is very different as today’s students seem exposed to so much more, have technology as a central part of their life, often have much greater urgency/impatience in their academic/personal lives, and don’t seem to appreciate the full range of opportunities (academic and non) that college life provides them. </p>

<p>At the so-called elite colleges, IMO there seems to be an acceleration of many students’ transition to adulthood and an ever greater preoccupation with money and career positioning. Some of the kids now in college are so aware and so plugged in to the business world that I wonder how long they were trained this way and what their high school and home lives must have been liked. As a result, at many top schools, I see many students dedicating their lives to the achievement of gaining employment with a certain employer or industry (hello Wall Street) rather than thinking about their own personal development and what they might enjoy. I see these students placing a premium on not making a mistake and a huge focus on putting oneself in position for an internship, a research experience, etc that will make them look the most desirable when the hiring process begins for real. The search for a college by many students is driven by their hyper-preoccupation with positioning to interview with ABC firm. In today’s world, that might be the right path and may lead to early corporate/professional achievement, but is it the right path for all of these students? I think I understand the pressures and probably we in the professional world have done a lot to create this, but I also wonder about what this means for the individual student-when does he/she have the time to think creatively, to explore, to try new things without fear of falling behind their more conventional peers?</p>

<p>I was in college the same years as “paying3tuitions” 1968-72 and can recognize many of the same 60s-based feelings and experiences.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, for me, the best things about college were: living in a community of peers–this was a women’s college and we had a strong sense of “sisterhood” with readily available companionship and stimulating conversation; world enough and time for intellectual exploration–taking ideas seriously and having professors as role models for “the examined life” and the value of learning for its own sake; living on a beautiful suburban campus–which, after a childhood in NewYork City, was for me “out in the country.” Most of us were engaged in “finding ourselves” not primarily in career preparation. Our generation believed we could make the world better by being idealistic rather than materialistic- Civil rights, Vietnam, Feminism–we felt passionatley about those issues and the times they were a-changin. If you weren’t part of the solution you were part of the problem-- this was what college was teaching us.</p>

<p>I also think it interesting that teenagers are planning to be investment bankers. I was in the Kent State-Woodstock-Vietnam War-Find Yourself generation. I did feel that I had a peer group for the first time in college, but I also dropped out and went to nursing school so I could get a job.</p>

<p>OP</p>

<p>Everyone told me that my high school years should be the best days of my life–GAG!! Your college years may also not be the best days of your life. Give yourself more slack to play, but tell yourself that your life may peak at another time and that’s a good thing too.</p>

<p>My experience parallels paying3’s. Could almost have written her posts. Same years.</p>

<p>I also met my first husband; lived with him; enjoyed being in love.</p>

<p>And educationally, the things I learned take pride of place every day in my classrooms: Derrida, Lacan, Foucault, Pynchon, Woolf, Heisenberg, Bohr et al. cornerstones of my intellectual life. I had a ball learning all this. I had two true mentors in every sense of the word who practically insisted I go into college teaching. The job prospects scared me, but they practically wrote my grad school applications.</p>

<p>I still love both of them and communicate with them.</p>

<p>I was in Ann Arbor during a transitional period. The first two years we wore circle pins, went to fraternity parties, danced to Gloria and drank copious amounts of beer. The last two years we wore mini skirts, went to peace marches, grooved to Jimi and tried to stay stoned. </p>

<p>I was a young student, both chronologically and emotionally, and felt alienated from both environments. Along the way I picked up an excellent liberal arts education mostly by osmosis as it seems I slept through a large percentage of my classes. Art history: the lights go out, the slides come up, the heads go down, good night…</p>

<p>After graduation I moved to San Francisco and within months had stumbled into my life’s work and my life’s partner. Now, being 20 years old and in San Francisco in the 70’s that was a wonderful experience! I quickly hit my stride professionally and socially and have had a fascinating and challenging career and a loving and satisfying personal life.</p>

<p>In retrospect, I was just at the wrong college for me. Michigan had so many fine resources but I was just too introverted to reach out and seize the opportunities. That’s why I’m a dyed in the wool LAC convert. I wouldn’t trade the rest of my life for fame or fortune, but my college experience was disappointing.</p>

<p>Ah momrath I spent my undergrad years in Columbus at you know where and had a marvelous time. As a freshman I found out how ill prepared I was for college life both academically and socially. However I became a fast learner on both fronts and by graduation I was a different person altogether. My major was chosen by a coin toss in the dorm lounge spring semester, the choices being ME or CE, with CE thankfully being the winner.</p>

<p>And so many memorable experiences! A pickup b-ball game with Jim Cleamons, late nite discussions with Bruce Villanch, pregame tailgating on the Hichcock Hall patio with our CE faculty and staff and our dear maid Ruthie Redmond. Road trips to the Indy 500 and concerts in Merschon. And then the weird memories like the strange odors in my microbio lab in Cockins Hall and the lost plumb bob into Mirror Lake.</p>

<p>But whatever the experience, those undergrad college years are merely a stepping stone to the rest of our lives with careers, spouses, children and all the rest.</p>

<p>I was very glad to be set free from my small town confines. I couldn’t believe how great the freedom felt. On the other hand I was overwhelmed by some of my classes often feeling that it was hopeless and I would never graduate. I did love the atmosphere of college even though academically I struggled in the first year. </p>

<p>I got married after my soph. year., transferred to a new sch. where H had a job and my college life changed. I was a married commuter so it was really more like a job. I graduated 3 years later. My gpa was much better after I was married,lol. </p>

<p>I look back on my first sch. that I attended for two years as “my school”. Even though I didn’t graduate from that univ., it’s the one I cheer for in sports and whose t-shirt I proudly wear. I did some stuff I prob. shouldn’t have done but I had great times there and met great friends (I still get Christmas cards from them). It was a great learning experience and then there were the classes,lol.<br>
I would not say it was the greatest time of my life…that would have to be getting married and having kids. </p>

<p>OP, you will have ups and downs. Everybody does. College is not what you see in the movies…well sometimes, but mostly not. Try to relax , have some fun and not put so much pressure on yourself to have it all figured out so fast.</p>

<p>I have lurked for 3 years, this is my first post EVER! My college years were life changing. I didn’t realize it then, but now I know. I agree with Curm, lots of fun, lots of classroom learning wasted. What I did learned, served me well. I met two of my closest friends after being in a triple freshman year. After 34 years they are the sisters I never had, we see each other 4-5 times a year, our families are close and the kids regard each other as cousins. I grew up in lots of ways, learned many life skills about different cultures and getting along with others. I somehow got a degree that has lead to a career I love. Was it all fun and games back then? Most definately not. Looking back it had a lot of ups and downs.</p>

<p>Welcome. Don’t let it be 3 more years. ;)</p>

<p>I’d just like to say - thank you so much to everyone for telling your stories! I really appreciate it.</p>

<p>darvit:</p>

<p>Have the responses given you a new perspective on things?</p>

<p>I was a little concerned that you were the victim of ‘built-up’ expectations - something that can easily happen to those attending college - especially top schools. After all, it’s probably been built-up for years by people around you and you’ve worked hard to get there only to arrive and perhaps say ‘now what?’. Once you’re there though the reality hits home. That’s not a bad thing but as you’re discovering there can be a delta between expectations and reality. Once you realize that a certain amount of college is real work (varying greatly depending on major) but that you have some say in your experience and your own outlook, things can settle out into a great experience (not always great - you’ll still likely have some nights lost to studying and perhaps not getting exactly the grades you were used to). The thing is YOU have to make it happen - you can’t wait for it to happen to you. Accept it for what it is and move forward and make the best of it.</p>

<p>darvit, I have a thought for you on this. Sometimes I am at a place with a lot of other tourists and I see people some intent on taking a video of what they are experiencing that they almost aren’t experiencing it. In other words: don’t overthink it.<br>
I don’t think during the time I was in college I realized how much was going on for me. I was growing intellectually, emotionally, socially, etc. And there were growing pains. I never thought about whether I was in the “best time of my life”. Probably because in my day, our parents didn’t tell us “this is the best time of your life”. The high expectations that parents have on their young adult children weren’t as prominent.<br>
Try to enjoy each day for what it holds, ups and downs. Don’t expect that it will be the best time of your life or that it will be similar to some college experience you saw in a movie or someone told you about.<br>
I’m not sure if any of this makes sense or helps but hopefully it does.
Rambling over.</p>

<p>crossed posted with ucla dad…what he said…ditto.</p>

<p>I want to second what ebeee said. In fact, I was thinking of the whole picture analogy but decided not to put it in my initial response.</p>

<p>One of the great experiences of my junior college years was a three-week backpacking trip that started in Texas, off to the sand dunes in New Mexico, through Durango and other scenic places in Colorado, into Yellowstone, etc. But the high point (no pun intended) was an eight-day trip into the Tetons. I made the decision not to take a camera. There were the practical reasons (the extra weight, would it get lost or wet), but I chose not to take a camera because I wanted to just enjoy the experience, not worry about re-creating it later. Does that make sense? You know how sometimes you get pics back and they just don’t capture the moment? (I guess nowadays you just delete them and keep trying to get a good one!) But you get what I mean. The memories are better than the pictures we take. I say not to think too much about how it’s going and just go out and DO.</p>

<p>youdon’tsay,
I’m glad it made sense to someone. I wasn’t sure it would…</p>

<p>ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad - yes, I think my perspective has changed somewhat. Mostly I’ve realized that college is a growing experience, and you can’t grow if everything’s always going so well for you and you have no down times where you have to do a lot of self-reflection. That is what I want most from college, to grow and learn about myself, not just to party hard and be goofy all day long, which is what I feel like a lot of people are doing nowadays in college.</p>

<p>And I am, as you said, a victim of built up expectations. I probably should have realized that college wasn’t going to be the new beginning of an amazing life and that it would solve all of life’s problems. But then again, I spent so many years stressing out about college applications, getting good grades, doing extracurriculars just so I could have things to put on my apps (and pretending to myself that I was doing them because I wanted to), and on top of that so many months of tense waiting to see if I would get in. I’m sure I cared more (and way too much) about where I was going to end up than most people because I thought it mattered. And then I did get into the school I wanted to go to, so I spent the rest of senior year looking forward to moving in, and then all summer frustrated with my parents telling me when curfew was and trying to control my life (which I’ve learned to appreciate now). I was so ready to start my own life and go to college. And yes, I started college and it hit me that it wasnt like I was starting a stage in my life where I could sit back and enjoy the ride - I had to work, be proactive, have some down times, etc… I guess I’m the kind of person who likes building up idyllic visions of what I think certain experiences will be like. I should work on that!</p>

<p>And ebeeeee - yes, that makes perfect sense. I’m not a big picture-taker although it seems like so many people are nowadays to a point where it seems like unless you take pictures and put them online for everyone to see, it never happened.</p>

<p>darvit, you’ll do just fine. There aren’t many students your age who are able to see themselves so clearly and articulate their thoughts in such a manner.</p>

<p>darvit, I wish I was there to give you a big hug. It’s the mom in me. Oh, and feed you all your favorite foods (that’s the Hispanic mom in me).</p>

<p>Darvit, you are growing up, which is exactly what you should be doing in college! Part of becoming an “adult” is coming to terms with how things are & becoming comfortable with your reality. You had a romantic notion of college, and you were a bit disillusioned when you didn’t find it to be the way you imagined it would be (or rather, when you found that it didn’t feel the way you thought it would). You took the step of researching — by asking those who have been through it — and you will take what you found to heart. You will adjust your views accordingly, it seems. And guess what? You are already on your way to a new, healthy outlook! Congratulations on taking a huge step into adulthood.</p>