<p>darvit, you sound like my kids during their first years in college, kind of bipolar and almost apologizing that they were not having as great a time as I had (my experiences mimic paying3tuitions). That was when I was still hearing from them regularly via emails, myspace and IMing. Now (one’s a senior and the other a sophomore) the main difference is I hardly hear from them at all. When I do I can hear the change being at college has made in their lives. It took awhile for them to make their connections with their schools. I’m sure it will happen for you too.</p>
<p>Here’s a suggestion to file away for when you next choose courses.</p>
<p>There are certain fields of study that teach you how to experience the present tense, “live in the moment,” use your intuition, be on the right side of your brain…all that. It’s the opposite of analyzing experiences; it’s more to open yourself up to intuitions, listening to what is being said right there in front of you. “Be in the Moment.”</p>
<p>Some of these courses include: Art Studio, Introduction To Acting, Music Appreciation. Other posters could perhaps name more. I wonder if you might just trying ONE course like those? Even for 2 credits.</p>
<p>I’m aware of it because my S double-majored in Theater and Music (after dropping “Law, Jurisprudence and Social Theory”). The Theater department emphasized “being in the moment” with exercises to get students to attend to the person right in front of them, to react to current cues, and not to think about the lines. Being fairly analytical, he found it hard to achieve (as a sophomore). He had a breakthrough not in his major but during an Art Studio class where he had to draw. It required him to be “in the moment” and once he experienced that, he could apply it over to his major with great success. The emotions just began to flow.</p>
<p>Sometimes you get someplace indirectly, and a course such as those mentioned (or others can suggest) might give you new insight and be helpful.</p>
<p>You have to take distribution courses anyway, right?</p>
<p>EDIT: If you have the option, take it “Credit/No Entry” or “Pass/Fail” so you don’t worry about the grade! You’ll be out of your academic comfort zone, and might not do as well in it as the majors…but that’s not the point. It’ll be more fun if you don’t worry about messing up your GPA over it!!</p>
<p>darvit </p>
<p>When I think about college now, I see it as a significant, but distant, part of the growing and changing process that makes me who I am today. It doesn’t matter whether an experience was 20, 10, or 2 years ago, or even yesterday–there is no stopping point where you say, “Now I am grown up. I am who I am. No more changing.” Learning and changing keep going on at every age. </p>
<p>I also think college was wasted on me–I didn’t take advantage of many of the opportunities that were in front of me. Many times I had no clue what I was doing. Many times I was stressed out about the workload. There were fun, wild and crazy times, there were sad, bad and depressing times. I was pretty immature and just trying to get through the day most of the time–I think that describes the vast majority of students. About 3 of my college friends came to my wedding, but I no longer keep in touch with anyone. Great times in college–yes. The greatest? Not by a long shot. </p>
<p>When older people get nostalgic about their “bright college years,” what they remember is the freedom–no responsiblity for job, spouse or children, the ability to travel without being tied down, the risk-taking and new experiences that are part of youth–these things make nice memories. But the reality is that you’ve got papers due and finals coming up . . .I don’t miss that stress.</p>
<p>Get a fun summer job that will take your mind off your studies–that was about the best thing I did in college.</p>
<p>Aw, thanks Youdon’tsay, and everyone else.</p>
<p>If anyone who commented on this thread is still reading this, I’d like to express my gratitude once again! In the most sincere way, yes, I think this thread has helped me more than I ever would have anticipated. It’s also funny because I used to come on this site all the time when I was applying for college and I would read through all the chances threads and compare myself to everyone else - crazy times. And then when I saw that people in college were still using this site, I wondered why they would come back; I mean, they were already in college so why would they still be using this site? But here I am, posting here because I realized that maybe I needed some help with my college experience…so yes, now I know that life doesn’t become perfect once college starts. </p>
<p>:-)</p>
<p>I agree with atomom:
<<when older=“” people=“” get=“” nostalgic=“” about=“” their=“” “bright=”" college=“” years,“=”" what=“” they=“” remember=“” is=“” the=“” freedom–no=“” responsiblity=“” for=“” job,=“” spouse=“” or=“” children,=“” ability=“” to=“” travel=“” without=“” being=“” tied=“” down,=“” risk-taking=“” and=“” new=“” experiences=“” that=“” are=“” part=“” of=“” youth–these=“” things=“” make=“” nice=“” memories.=“” but=“” reality=“” you’ve=“” got=“” papers=“” due=“” finals=“” coming=“” up=“” .=“” .i=“” don’t=“” miss=“” stress.=“”>></when></p>
<p>College is the one time in your life when you’re old enough to have independent experiences and make your own choices and young enough not to have obligations to anyone but yourself. Yes, academic work can be stressful but who are you doing it for if not for yourself? Try to make choices so that what you do ( or a significant part of what you do) feels worth it for its own sake not only because you will need it for a future career. Do some things that are “experimental” and grow beyond your own background and preconceived notions. Talk to people who are significantly different from yourself and learn to benefit from multiple perspectives. There are many wonderful life experiences
that can come after college and there are rewards in becoming a mature adult but there will never be another time in your life when opportunities for learning, growth and change are so plentiful and so easily within your grasp. Carpe Diem!</p>
<p>“More specifically, was college a time when you really grew as a person/ formed your true identity? A time you look back on fondly as maybe the last part of your life you were free to experiment with whatever you wanted to? A time when you made your closest friends?”</p>
<p>Yes, yes, and yes.</p>
<p>The up side of all the admissions disappointment and drama that I went through, and of my relatively advanced age when I finally got where I wanted to be, is that I appreciated it to a degree that many kids don’t. I really did understand that this was the time of my life.</p>
<p>Yes, I’m a giant nerd, but if you’re a Harry Potter fan, think about Harry’s feelings about Hogwarts vs. Ron’s. For someone like Ron, who’s always had a good and rewarding life, and who’d been hearing stories about Hogwarts forever, going off to school was just the next thing in his life, not a transformative emotional experience. But for Harry (and Tom Riddle), who’d never been happy before, and who never thought that they had much of a future to look forward to, Hogwarts was paradise, the best place in the world. That’s what college was like for me.</p>
<p>If you’ve had a Ron life, you’re a lot less likely to have a Harry experience in college.</p>
<p>Many years ago, an author named Gail Sheehy wrote a book called “Passages” about the transitions of the young adult years. She explored how somebody turns from a pre-adult into an adult, like a moth emerging from a cocoon.</p>
<p>Then, when she hit closer to 50 herself, she rewrote the book with chapters on each decade into late adulthood. She had discovered that there were new
developments every ten years, and recognizable developmental watersheds throughout adulthood.</p>
<p>I think the teenaged years are so specific, hormonal, growth-producing (physically) that the next stage, in college you might think, “ok, this is my last chance to grow up and get it right…” Not so. There is the transition to marriage, career, first child, loss of a parent, deepening of career…many bridges to cross (or burn).</p>
<p>My parents divorced when I was a freshman and I ended up working to pay my tuition. So, no, I don’t remember my college days in a golden “Dead Poet’s Society” glow. On the other hand, I developed a critical approach to thinking that has stood me in good stead ever since then. Mostly, though, it was just another thing.</p>
<p>It was a time of great growth for me, because I was away from my parents for the first time. </p>
<p>In some ways I was disappointed in the intellectual life–I had expected there’d be a lot more time outside of class sitting around discussing things at a high level. But I loved the social life! I drank too much, that I’ll admit.</p>
<p>I was at a woman’s college, and another important lesson for me was learning to get along better with women and appreciate their strengths. I’d always been one of these types who tended to enjoy the company of men better. </p>
<p>College was where I got a real sense of how aptitudes and abilities differentiate people–not raw brainpower, but other things like creativity, charisma, artistic ability, and the like. In my high school, the kids who were smart were the same kids who were funny, accomplished, musically gifted, leaders, or just plain overall achievers. I assumed those things naturally overlapped. In college I began to see that many smart people weren’t necessarily leaders or gifted in other areas, and that some of the best leaders and achievers on campus weren’t necessarily the smartest. Maybe that should have been obvious to me before, but college is where it gelled, and I think it’s because college offers opportunities for students to excel in those varied ways and find their real milieu. It was helpful for me, because I stopped being so concerned about someone’s brains when evaluating them. </p>
<p>I wish I’d pushed myself more–but for the right reasons. I was sort of a grade-grubber, and was more oriented towards doing what I had to do earn the “A” and please the professor. I wish I’d been more focused on what a course could do for me and my own knowledge, and tried to get more out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I did learn a lot–but I think I could have done more.</p>
<p>I also wish I’d participated in a lot more of the unique offerings outside of class. Lectures, concerts, seminars–I was apathetic and lazy about that kind of thing. Stupid, because now when those things come up I have to pay admission, worry about parking, schedule them around family events, get a babysitter… .It was so easy to try those things in college, yet I too rarely did so.</p>
<p>College ended 15 years ago for me, and at the time, I was so ready to be out of school. I had a liberal bent at a conservative school and spent 4 angst ridden years lamenting about how boring the place was. I didn’t always always fit in there. In fact, I really didn’t “come in to my own” until after law school, and I started working. But, looking back, I have no doubt that I had a fine education…I knew I was going to some sort of grad school, and so I spent those 4 years getting a true liberal arts education. I took classes that interested in me and found professors that interested me. It wasn’t until law school that I was even aware that people could go to college and get a degree without writing a paper. I think I had to write papers in my science classes. </p>
<p>If I had to go back and change things–knowing what I now know–I would. I would have been less angst ridden, more involved, more interested in people that were not like me, less worried about what people thought about me, etc. But, all those experiences inform who I am now, and it took a while to develop the self-confidence that a different college experience required. </p>
<p>I have great fondness for the school now. It’s in a tourist area, and so I’ve gone back since then a couple of times. (I had long thought it was a great place to spend 4 days, not 4 years, and it’s true!).</p>
<p>It was stepping stone. But, it was by far not the “best years of my life,” and my closest friends today remain those I met in law school not college. I didn’t have a storybook college life, but I don’t have any regrets about the experience.</p>