<p>I will start this by saying that my last one starts college this year. This does not affect me (but it might affect some of your kids), but it does raise my hackles:</p>
<p>We have some friends with one child. This child will never be good enough for her parents. C in English freshman year…got a tutor who wrote (and continues to write) all her essays (no. this is not a chapter from SCHOOLED)…fought kid’s way to AP. Never has written her own essay/research paper in any subject. Got her out of foreign language by claiming a disability. Daughter isn’t “tall” or thing enough for them…got her dexidrine for nonexistant ADD (just in time for SATs)…and while they can’t make her the “right” height…she lost 14 pounds (with the pills and a screwy diet to boot).</p>
<p>College apps: hired a guy to write her “special” essays (why I didn’t do well freshman and sophomore year and now am doing very well…did I mention cheating?). Oh…and as for financial aid? They are lying about that as well. Friend is a cpa and will “assist” them with some made up tax returns. </p>
<p>Sorry to vent…but when I was asked to “help” get her into a certain school I equivocated…(ever hear of a no rec?) but I don’t want to do that. They know that my husband makes donations to a certain school and we have helped a few DESERVING kids get in.</p>
<p>I know that college entrance is difficult, a game and you use what you can…but lying about everything…manipulating everything? Did I mention that they are miffed because I mentioned that the professional essays might differ in style from her short answers?</p>
<p>As far as the financial aid aspect I can’t imagine a CPA risking his career to help them with made up tax returns. They will have to file FAFSA and if the real tax returns are not reported on FAFSA they will probably get caught out there. I have even heard of people having their FAFSA adjusted to include small amounts from 1099s they had forgotten to report on their tax returns. They also need to remember that FAFSA is a federal form and you are required to sign saying that what you report is correct - deliberately lying on it can lead to fines of up to $20,000, repayment of all financial aid and possibly imprisonment. If they report different information on FAFSA to profile the school will notice.</p>
<p>Wow- I guess any one could create their own false tax return, but I would sure like to think they are cross checked somewhere. They don’t need a CPA to lie, they can lie on their own, but I certainly hope they are caught! That is just crazy to submit fraudulent forms!</p>
<p>look at it this way: at least they’re employing their share of tutors… And some smart undergrad/grad student at her college will make a bundle. Until she inevitably drops out.</p>
<p>Hmmm…as far as the “checking” goes…I am going to be very vague here…but my husband knew of/had a client/opposed (saying all this to be very untraceable) that the income was $25,000 per year. Ivy League gave the kid a full ride. Problem? Came out in court (FIFTEEN YEARS LATER) that she had filed under a maiden name, set this up a few years before BUT no one checked. And to my knowledge the school never asked for their money back. (She was worth a huge amount of money…)</p>
<p>Your taxes are checked using your social security numbers, not your names. The FAFSA could very easily be checked against the actual submitted tax return. If the parents send a “doctored” return to the finaid department…the risk a fraud charge…and so does the person who doctored the returns.</p>
<p>If these folks are your “friends”? Well…if they were MY friends, our friendship days would be very numbered.</p>
<p>We have more of an acquaintance friendship. They are not asking us to do anything but write a letter to a specific school. As I said, we have written letters in the past but I am increasingly troubled by the attitude of these parents (and our local school) to get their kid(s) into the best schools no matter what, including cheating and condoning cheating.</p>
<p>Listen to your gut. You have taken the time to assist students who you feel deserve to be considered by the adcom in the strongest possible light. What is your value to that school if you write a letter about a student in “glowing terms” that in fact is the exact opposite. Your name has to be worth something-think “ethics”. nuf said. g’luck-</p>
<p>I’ve already taken care of the request for the personal rec. We aren’t writing one. But I question the position that this kid is getting by cheating all the way into college. Her freshman year, sans tutors, she got a 2.4 gpa. Sophomore year, first semester:2.2. Then…tutors doing everything: 3.1 to this year a 3.9. She never does tests in class, always at home. Will she flunk out of college? Who knows? But what about the kids who have worked so hard to get in…and nothing. I feel disgusted.</p>
<p>What are this girl’s parents thinking? They have done her no favors in the long run. College is going to be such a shock to her because no way will she get away with this behaviour in college. Plus her GPA is still not strong for competitive schools and what about ACTs or SATs? (or did tutors take them too?). She will probably really struggle in college and the academic integrity rules (if they are anything like at my daughter’s school) will probably bite her in the butt if she continues having someone doing her work (and why wouldn’t she as she probably thinks it is ok as she has done it through HS). And tests at home in college. Not going to happen. She probably will flunk out. The kids who have worked hard will do much better in the long run. But I can see why you are so disgusted. Glad to hear you are not going to write the rec.</p>
<p>Maybe you should write a “nice” polite letter, like the GC ones that says volumes between the lines and send a real message in what they do not say, to the school, allowing the school to realise she is not a good prospect?? If your alumni $ go there, do you want to risk the future scandal when her cheating continues and is possibly exposed?</p>
<p>She received extra time, because she was just diagnosed with ADD. (All my kids have ADD…the last one didn’t get extra time). Did very poorly on SAT, better on the ACT (29). She was allowed a computer to take her ACT (her arm aches when she writes). Her parents stopped at nothing.</p>
<p>Just a by the way, at some level she knows that she is a “failure.” to her parents. They are tall, she is only 5’3". She is, according to her mother, “chubby” at 120. In public they tell her to stop eating. So, a part of me wants to help her: Get away from her parents that is. But not to a school where she doesn’t deserve to gain admission.</p>
<p>These people are such jerks! I’m so glad my parents aren’t that way! These people are going to have such bad karma for cheating their daughter up to the top. So many of us have worked our behinds off to get into top schools and she’ll take a deserving students place because her parents are to stubborn to admit that maybe she’s just not interested.
Don’t let these people get you down! You did the right thing, and I’m so glad there are adults like you that have a conscious when it comes to these things.</p>
<p>These parents are creating an an emotional cripple! Nothing she does is good enough (even her height), and they apparently think she’s incompetent academically, hence the cheating. I feel sorry for this girl.</p>
<p>Are these people your genuine friends or are they acquaintances?</p>
<p>If they are your friends, then I would as a friend suggest that you care too much about their daughter to let this charade continue or certainly to participate in it. If you expect them to have integrity, you have to show integrity.</p>
<p>If they are acquaintances or casual friends of no consequence, I would ignore the request…they have no right to ask this of you and you have no obligation…</p>
<p>These people were incredibly kind when I was ill. I suspected, at that time and now, that they would like business from us. (I am not saying what kind). Was there an ulterior motive? Perhaps yes…perhaps no. They were very helpful.</p>
<p>I have tried, yesterday (hence this thread) to “suggest” that adcoms are smart enough to see the “difference in styles” of the written material. The mother said that I had an attitude because “YOUR daughter got into a college that was a stretch.” (yes she did, it was…and they were jealous) and that I didn’t appreciate their efforts on their daughter’s behalf.</p>
<p>Incidentally, their are not part of our core friends. In fact at our oldest’s grad party several friends, from out of state, commented on how the daughter wasn’t allowed to speak for herself, help herself to food…she was totally overrun by her mother.</p>
<p>But then, perhaps the adcoms aren’t looking for cheating and/or ghost writing. I know our high school “knows” who has papers ghost written, but they don’t do anything about it.</p>
<p>Why do they need recs? Are they actually going to let her go off to college on her own, if they don’t even let her feed herself at a party? (lol) Or are they trying to get into a college in your town, where she can live at home and they can continue to treat her like a 2 year old?</p>
<p>If this is true it’s pretty outrageous. Did your friend actually admit all this to you outright? Is it possible that the help with essays was legitimate tutoring and not ghostwriting? How do you know that the girl’s ADHD is nonexistent or that the disability isn’t real?</p>
<p>Yes, she admitted it outright. She asked me questions about ADHD (which in my kids’ case was diagnosed by a pediatric neurologist), the drugs (couldn’t help there). She used another friend to find out how they got their kid the ability to use a computer during SATs and ACTs. (the most sophisticated works very fast…according to my kids). The husband told mine about the “counselor” they hired…stats and all. And how certain essay questions on the apps were being done by the counselor.</p>
<p>The first time the mom read a tutor done essay, which was excellent btw, the words, “She didn’t write that. The teacher has to know it.” She brushed me off with…“This is how EVERYONE in honors writes. He won’t get it.” And since the daughter sat at the table for tutoring session the essay was “hers.”</p>
<p>Very easy to fake the need for accomodations. Sorry folks, you just have to go the the “right” person…at $2,000 a pop. Incidentally, my youngest could have qualified, based on lifelong 504s. We just didn’t have the time (I was ill) to jump through the hoops. And, it is easy to fake some of the tests…I know how to do it. (We never did it. I just know how…)</p>
<p>This is a very imperfect system. But its the best we got.</p>