<p>When I was a kid, my dad always said that he would never help pay for college. Not for us girls, nor for my brothers. He thought there was too much emphasis on college, not enough on work skills and probably was horribly jealous to boot. If we wanted to go to college we could work and go at night and live at home and start at community colleges. So of course, none of us did it that way. He wouldn’t even fill out the financial aid forms that would help us get aid. Colleges didn’t care about my dad’s views, they said he had a responsibility to help pay for college. Thank God, my mother filled out the forms and signed both their names. 3 of 4 of us went to college with the help of college loans (at 7% from the bank and 3% federal) and scholarships. He (they) never gave any of us a penny towards school and only a few times gave my sister a bit to get back to school after school breaks at home. Oh and he (they) took all of us on his taxes as dependents until we all graduated. There is nothing a kid can do about it without tearing the family apart. The 4th child went into the Navy to get away. My family was not singular and is not singular today. There are parents that act like this, even now. WE were adults from the day we checked into college and into the Navy. Money is a huge part of being an adult, even if we don’t always want to acknowledge it. I learned quite a bit about how I wanted to treat my older children from my experiences - I generally go the other way!
Our oldest is graduating from college next month, no job yet. He will get a lump sum and will figure out how to make it last until he starts earning for himself. Once he does that, we will start billing him for car insurance and cell phone ( netflix!) and hopefully, within a year or so, will have everything in his own name. My parenting goal has always been to have a good relationship with my adult children as the time spent as adults is much longer than the time spent as children. But is my kid an adult yet? no, not really, but he got a scholarship, graduated from college in 4 years, makes good decisions and is all together, a great person. I would label him as an almost adult.</p>