That was Wimpy and Popeye 
Ahh⊠thanks. At least I got the quote and the cartoon right!
I think âfriendsâ that do this have the mindset of âthey can afford it; it doesnât matter â similar to the employees wife who thought theyâd âpaid enoughâ. Not good.
You owe your part. Period.
This is pretty easy to do unfortunately. Iâve got friends who make a lot more than we do.
It doesnât matter what âclassâ youâre in. It could be 50 bucks makes a difference to you or 1000 bucks make a difference.
We keep up but we have turned down invitations to places when we just cringed at the price tag. Itâs hard to say no but there is no way Iâd have someone else responsible for me. And Iâm not playing games because thatâs what destroys friendships.
If I have to pull out of reservations for an event I make it clear that Iâll still pay my part. I donât like being stuck and wonât stick anyone else. I figure it works out eventually.
OP is in the situation where itâs probably not advisable for her to mention something at dinner if her DH wants to let it go. It may cause an argument between them. I think if sheâs going to take care of it, it needs to be between she and the woman before dinner. I donât think itâs going to happen as sheâs tried and nothing is getting through. I donât see how the friendship will have the same warm feelings because of this, though.
I am with D1 on vacation now and I mentioned this thread to her. She told me she has a friend who would nickel and dime her on every bill. They rented an Airbnb for a ski weekend for 4 couples. This friend was leaving early by one day so they wanted to prorate their share. D1 said what did they expect her to do with their room for one day. This same couple got upset with D1 about not inviting them to go on a yacht trip to Greece. D1 said she would be spending most of her time negotiating with them about how much they were spending on food and drinks, and if they were only to be there for 6 nights vs 7 then they would want to pay less.
People like the OPâs friend and @oldfortâs daughterâs friend are high maintenance. Who needs friends that are so self-absorbed and high maintenance? Wisely, oldfortâs daughter quickly figured that out.
They may not be high maintenance. They may just be cheap.
Expecting others to pay for you who arenât your dependents is high maintenance by definition, in my book. But, yes, it is also cheap.
This thread has been a window into how the 1% live: yacht trips, $200/person dinners for ordinary food.
I would be very pissed off about not being paid back $250. My H, OTOH, would just shrug his shoulders and forget about it.
We are going to Iceland with our couple friends and my gf and I booked several things - some which I paid for and some she paid for. We have an account on Splitsville to keep track of everything and my gf and I will settle up once trip is over. Itâs best to keep the Hâs blissfully unaware for numerous reasons.
I have been to some pricey dinners with other couples but this hopefully was a great meal and not just expensive. We usually split the bill also and it sucks when one person or couple orders expensive drinks etc . We have learned to order the same or most usually just suggest splitting a bottle of wine. This usually makes everyone happy without going crazy.
Also about asking for the money back. Absolutely!!!.
Text/ email your âfriendâ (sheâs /they are not friends. You donât treat friends this way) and send her the vimo app. Tell her you would like to be paid back by tomorrow at 6:00 pm. Ask her to confirm that she got your message.
If she doesnât respond call the husband with the same message. I have very rich/wealthy friends. Some would say we are compared to others. No matter how much you make or your life style $250 is a lot of money. This is also about respect. They donât respect you or your friendship. Tell them you need the money to pay a bill or something.
Again in the future we usually set rules with other couples we donât know well enough like âheh, want to get a bottle of wineâ or think I am just going to have a beer.
Isnât that what the community board is about? (Not always and I really like this thread, itâs been very informative)
First world problems of the 1%âs?
Iâm putting myself in that category, I live a very blessed life
High maintenance people are emotionally draining. They suck the life blood out of you. If this woman/her husband never did this before and the friendship was enjoyable and reciprocal until now, Iâd wonder if something else was going on. If this is one of many times when the couple were unreasonable or emotionally draining, then its a toxic friendship and time to cut the cord. Perhaps its time to ask directly, âis there a reason you have not repaid us the $250 you owe us?â
âheh, want to get a bottle of wineâ
Well, that can open a whole can of worms as well. Exactly which wine? The $50, $100 or $200 bottle? 
@doschicos⊠Not really. We are not shy to say something is too expensive etc. This helps set the tone. Itâs the same with dinner, âwhat looks good to you for dinner?â. This gives me a clue. We would normally have a price point in mind. But also we donât associate with people that would do this. I have been invited to a dinner with two people I didnât know. The one young broker dude who talked non stop about his car and how expensive it was to fix, kept on ordering expensive drink after drink. We all had like one drink /beer/wine except for him. We split it 4 ways. He knew this and was just taking advantage of the situation. Since this was not my friend I did let my friend know about it. I have also been in the situation where someone would do the same and just say, âI noticed I had a few extra drinks and I am going to leave a larger tip or add more to my shareâ. To me thatâs just the correct thing to do. If we go out and I really want something that is out of the range of the others dinners, I just add more to the bill and announce it prior to ordering. This would be a very rare situation for me though.
But⊠I do have one friend that used to add on another drink or something. We know whenever we go out with him and his wife I just keep pace with him. I did this a few times times so now when we go out he doesnât do it anymore. He doesnât like paying for my extra drinks⊠Lol⊠?.
We are 7 months past the dinner. IF OP and her H wanted to they could certainly continue to pursue this but IMO, that probably should have happened 7 DAYS after the restaurant date.
Just out of curiosity (and you certainly donât have to answer this OP), you mention you have run into the wife and she has certainly recalled the debt but not owned up to it. Have you or your H seen her husband? Does he conveniently forget to pay too?!
There are scorekeepers and non-scorekeepers. My family doesnât keep score. DHâs family does. Itâs exhausting.
If, as I suspect, the issue is that this couple are not scorekeepers and OP is, then the problem is with mutual understanding, not about who values the friendship more. If the wife generally believes that she and her husband generally pay their fair share and a bit more, and that they will make up any discrepancy at some indeterminate time in the future, then she will not have any understanding of how upset OP is about this. Maybe there is a lack of empathy on both sides.
If the OPâs husband isnât bothered by this, then I think the SASE solution or other direct communications will just make OP the odd woman out. No one else thinks this is a big deal.
OP should take it up with her husband, see if he thinks it is worth ruining the friendship with the couple before taking the nuclear option. At least to warn him if thatâs what she thinks she needs to do.
@MomofJandL. What friendship? I donât run in these circles but most of my friends respect me. This person evidently doesnât. The price of the dinner could of been $50. 00. The result would of been the same. The OP evidently can afford the dinner/restrauant or they would not of gone. Itâs blatantly rude.
@roethlisburger â Donât even pretend this is a look into how the 1 % act or spend money.
The cheapest person you may know driving the oldest car and living in an older home wearing clothes years old might be worth more than you can possibly fathom.
The only thing you can figure is maybe how people want to spend their money.
The person who has the flashy car and fancy clothes could be living paycheck to paycheck. You canât tell.
And a huge range in between.
@gouf78. So, so true. We have a guy that looks homeless in our neighborhood and heâs a multimillionaire. The town I work in they have large, beautiful houses but they canât afford to furnish them since their paying for the sports car. Once the economy goes down many of them go bankrupt. So, so true.