Ds1 was here for about 10 days, and ds2 and his wife were here for six days. They clearly didn’t approve of the dietary changes of dh and I. Ds2 was practically insulted that we didn’t have cereal in the house, and ds 1 said to me, “So I guess we aren’t eating peanut butter here anymore?” 
Dh and I laughed so hard. What kinds of changes were your kids clearly not on board with?
Oh, and ds1 said that we should keep all his trophies as is as a “shrine.” 
My kids were kind of put off that we used their closets while they were gone.
When they left, I asked them to strip their beds and put the dirty bedding in the laundry room. They were 
Neither of our kids were here for the holidays. But if they had come, I would have been thrilled!
We have a new house so not the one the kids grew up in - I think that makes a difference. Things are set up for us and then for them when they come home for visits. As far as food goes, I always go out and stock up on their favorites and all the snacks, candy for the candy dish, all the things so there is no shortage! I try to make things comfortable for them so that they will be eager to come back! 
One of our “funniest” come back home moments was when we went on a 2 week trip in the winter and my son came home to take care of the cats. He filmed himself turning up the heat and sent it to us :). Since we were both working we didn’t need the heat up all day.
We have gotten out of the habit of buying things they always had available when they lived at home, and there is about 0 closet space available to them.
Our kids haven’t been able to travel across country with their little ones in a while, but they have been kind enough to travel with us (skiing, Hawaii, etc). I always ask them what foods they want in the condo for them/their kids. One DIL is into organic everything, so I accommodate her, though it’s not that important to me. Other DIL is a vegetarian so we are sure to have things she can/will eat. For the last 2 trips (one with each s and family) I used the concierge service available to have some of the needed foods placed in the condo before our arrival, so there was food available for the first night/morning and we didn’t have to rush out to shop after a long travel day. It was expensive but handy.
My sister and I have an annual vacations a shore house with our kids (well, they’re now 8 adults). I either place an instacart order to be delivered when we arrive (one time it went missing, $800 worth of stuff, we were starving and had nothing to eat) or at the least a ShopRite pickup. I always disliked having Togo to an unfamiliar supermarket packed with fellow tourists.
My kids live near enough that they don’t “come home” anymore. We have a family cottage that the kids visit a few times during the summer, and I used to ask what they wanted me to have out there for them. Now they bring their own food for breakfast, lunch & snacks. I know their dinner preferences, so I will take care of dinner, or D & I will split dinner planning.
When we visited my parents, they always asked what we liked & we went shopping if we needed anything when we were there. My in laws were awful about the fact that we didn’t eat like they did, though. We always stayed a week with them when we visited, so we started asking if we could take care of some of the dinners. We don’t boil/butter/salt vegetables, we don’t make dishes with creams or other fats, we eat healthy greens rather than iceberg lettuce. We’d eat whatever MIL made and were very gracious about the food. But when H & I cooked, our dietary habits sparked discussions about how the food my MIL makes isn’t good enough for us. It was awful! I knew that I would never do that to my kids.
Had the exact opposite from D19 once she went off to college. From the stereotypical meme-worthy teenage room before she left, she was (hs been) very good at bringing stuff down, doing linen laundry etc when she comes home. And proactively does chores (like unloading the dishwasher) that we would have to nag about before!
She has been home for about 2 weeks and her bf has come for the past week too. They leave later this week. It’s been so wonderful having them back, especially for C26. Before the bf came we did a long weekend in Tahoe and it was just really nice family bonding time.
That’s great! I think my kids feel like their childhood bedrooms are somehow kept as shrines while they are gone.
My older child is good about paying (or at least offering to pay) for meals when we go out. At home, they expect us to cook for them. My second is good about cooking their own meals and washing their dishes afterwards. However, they don’t cook for us or wash anyone else’s dishes.
When is the frontal lobe fully developed? Counting down the days. 
We always ask what they want us to get before they come home. We sorta know anyway. We want them to feel good about coming home at anytime. Yep, their bedrooms are still the same and I think it gives them comfort. They are our guest rooms and so far so good.
One of mine lives 10 minutes away. When the other one comes home we (or he) always goes grocery shopping because we “have no food in the house”. No matter what.
S quietly goes out and buys what he likes to add to the fridge—often poke. He also goes out with DIL—hiking, errands and to eat. If D is awake, they invite her along if she’s interested. They don’t complain but no one cooks but me and H does the dishes. S and DIL have baked some cookies and DIL did make a batch of brussel sprouts.
This is the longest visit they’ve had—nearly 2 weeks for DIL and S will be with us for about 3 weeks. Will be here about 6 weeks.
It’s hard to plan because we truly don’t know their plans but everyone’s in a pretty collaborative mood so it’s been working out fine. Everyone does their own laundry and D helped us prepare S & DIL’s room.
When we visit S & DIL, we go out nearly all the time. Here we’ve been eating at home most of the time.
When mine come, we ask them if there’s anything special they want us to buy for them. Usually it’s some kind of yogurt or breakfast stuff. Then we buy a bunch of snacks and junk food and frozen pizzas. Meals are the same as when they were home. On your own for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. I make dinner or we go out to eat.
I haven’t changed much in their rooms. Older S’ is pretty empty but the decor on the walls is still there. Younger S just got his first new apartment, so I told him that after he comes to visit in 2 weeks he can take whatever he wants. Then I’ll make his room like his brothers. The decor on the walls will stay. But almost all of the trophies and knick knacks will be boxed and put in the attic. I refuse to dust around a zillion items, so his room hasn’t been dusted in years. The door stays shut
Both are fine at helping around as needed. It’s very similar to when they lived here.
This reminds me of an actual conversation with my husband:
There’s no food in the house
What do you mean, the fridge is full of food?
No, it’s full of ingredients
My youngest was home for almost a week at Christmas. He complained there was no food, but when we stock food he likes he still tends to go out to local bagel shop or with friends and we end up with food we don’t (or shouldn’t!) eat.
He also, somewhat jokingly, states that he is a guest and shouldn’t really be asked to do stuff around the house. I explain that he is not really a guest since he still wants his room to remain as he left it! He does cook and washes dishes.
Lead by example I say in terms of food, cleaning, helping out, etc. - you know why? So that they do the same for YOU when you go visit them! 
When I visit my kids I always come with a bag full of treats. It might be fruit from Costco to add to our breakfast at their house. Sourdough bread I make. Their favorite whatever item that is local to our town. Heck, I’ve brought bacon so we can have bacon for breakfast on the weekends! In turn, they always arrive at our house with bakery products or coffee from their town, bottles of wine, cookies they baked, etc.
When they visit I also just give a few directives. For instance on their last day I’ll just say, “hey no need to make the bed I’ll be changing the sheets. Just leave the sheets and your bathroom towels on the floor” (or near the washer or whatever). And I don’t hesitate to say, “I’m going out to walk the dog, if you don’t mind can you unload the dishwasher?”
This!
I also do a check in about what to stock in the kitchen and where she wants to go out to eat. I also make her favorites.
She’s very respectful of our house rules though, helps clean, cook, and strips the bed and loads the washer before leaving.
When we went to visit she had my favorite tea, the beer we like, and made us our favorite desserts. It was lovely!
My local kids are more likely to comment that we have no food in the house. If I don’t know they are coming I have what my husband and I eat. It took me awhile to adjust to shopping and cooking for two. I hate wasting food so I try not to buy more than I need.When my out of town kid comes I shop and try to have her favorites and food for her child.
I do keep a stock of snacks and baby food pouches for the local grands. One of them loves Once upon a farm pouches which he doesn’t get at home. He loves opening my refrigerator to look for a cold pouch.
My youngest is as messy of a guest as she ever was. Her husband does clean up after them.
I don’t even bother buying special coffee for my son and his wife anymore - they just venture out to local cafes to get whatever they like in the morning (in fairness, our coffee tastes are pretty basic). And whoever is visiting the other’s home tries to be a good guest while the host tries to accommodate the visitors’ food preferences/needs. I think H has a harder time seeing the kids as adults with independent opinions than I do, sometimes.