Boy, is this true in our household. DH knows our son is not his clone but, holy cow, did they go at it sometimes, especially during HS. It was hard for DH to watch our son form a world view that did not perfectly align with his ("How can a kid raised in THIS household take THAT position!!!) He’d be upset for days. I kept saying, “He’s young, he’s figuring things out, let him.” I laugh at how, years later, DH’s and son’s worldviews are not so far apart, but it hasn’t been son who’s changed the most.
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I definitely overdid on pre-holiday food shopping/cooking. When DS came home and looked in the fridge, he said, “Wow, I’m not a linebacker, you know!”
But the lasagna did disappear pretty quickly …
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When my daughter was in college, before she came home for winter vacation, I sent her a "menu’. It listed all her favorite meals so she could pick which ones I should make. I would then buy the ingredients for and make those meals over the course of her time home.
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We have no food, I’m an ingredient mom. But - D23 really doesn’t like much in the way of packaged food. I get a snack shopping list from her when she comes home and aim to please.
This break I have been told that she does not like big meals or chewy meat. (?!)
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Haha. My dad felt that way from the time I started thinking for myself until he passed away. Fortunately for him, my four brothers shared his views.
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What, did he cheer for Ohio State or something?
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When S comes home he does a lot of the cooking. If he sends an ingredient list we make sure we have it when he arrives.
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Had he done that, he would, effectively, be an orphan today.
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I do everything I can to make DS want to visit. Prepare favorite meals, stock fridge with favorite foods, even laundry service! I so love spending time with the person he has grown up to be, and that person has a full life in a city several hours away. I’ll do what I can to make our home an attractive destination for him.
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I also do what I can to make it attractive and easy for my kids to come home for holidays or really for anytime. I make sure that I have a full set of my kids’ preferred toiletries, including a full set of any the kids’ preferred make-up/cosmetics, duplicate of their medications, etc., in their bathrooms here at home at all times. I also make sure that they have extra clothing that they keep in my house permanently, including outerwear like rain coats, etc., so they do not need to pack really anything other than school books and electronics. My kids each live a longish plane ride away.
For one of my kids especially, all she does is grab a small backpack and takes her electronics and her purse and she is good to go. No clothing or make up/perfume/toiletries needed. So, for her it is so easy. She does not like to fly and not having to think about what to pack saves her time and stress. Plus she does not have to worry about checking her luggage or carrying it around the airport.
For my kid with a pet that travels with her on the plane, I make sure I have a duplicate set of toys, bedding, food, food bowls, etc. at my house so DD does not have to pack anything for her pet or worry about having to buy stuff once she gets here.
I also stock the fridge and pantry with favorite snacks and such, plus cook favorite meals, etc.
I keep their rooms neat and clean, sheets laundered, so when they arrive, they can relax.
It works out well in that my kids do try and stay here for a long time when they visit and seem to enjoy coming here. I do not mind doing all of this as in some way it helps me cope with them being away, by me knowing that all is ready for them here at a moment’s notice when they come to visit.
I have always lived a plane ride away from my extended family and as a young adult, was always the one flying or driving home for the the holidays. So, I know how nice it is to have stuff at the ready at one’s destination. I never had that luxury and always had to pack my stuff.
I recall how tough it was when the kids were small and we had to lug so much kid stuff on the plane like playpens and such. It was a pain and a lot to manage. I swore to myself that when and if my kids had kids, that I would have crib/playpen, toys, clothes, etc. for their kids here at my house to make it easy for them to travel. No grandkids yet, but I plan to be good on my word and provide conveniences for them, should I have grandchildren.
As I type this I realize it may sound a bit excessive, but I really like doing it and I have the space to do it, since their bedrooms are kept intact. And the kids tell me how much they appreciate it. And they do visit me as much as possible!
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Damn, y’all out here making me feel negligent.
How old are your kids? This year, mine are 30 and 33. Even without the cereal and peanut butter, I know my kids love being here. Ds1 texted me that last night. 
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Both “kids” are in their mid/late 30s and have a dresser & closet wit their clothing that they choose to keep here. They wear whatever they want and generally don’t have to pack much to stop by when they fly here. My DIL was so surprised that S flies with mainly his toothbrush and then maybe some warm clothing if it will be cold when he returns to NYC. Once she looked in his drawer and closet, she laughed and said no wonder you hardly pack anything.
My neighbor always arranges flowers in her D’s room when she comes “home” to “visit.” I don’t go that far but often buy things I know that my family enjoys and we of course take everyone out whenever folks are interested.
Our ds has always been good about coming, “home,” for the holidays. Even when we moved to Florida away from his home. But, I can tell he is so much happier visiting us now that we are back in the town where he graduated from high school.
His junior and senior years of high school and first three years of college, we hosted a Christmas party for the high school friends. The last one was in 2017. We moved back here in April, and as we were making plans for the holidays, I told him we could do that again. He took me up on that offer kind of last minute, but we had lots of fun scrambling around and getting everything together. It was a bit crowded even though we had fewer people than we used to since our place is smaller and not all the kids still live in the area or were home. We had two other parent sets come as well. Ds attended a small, charter high school and honestly the kids and parents are all pretty tight. It felt like we’d never stopped having the party seven years later!
I’m thrilled that we are in the same time zone after ten years of being two and then three time zones apart from him. He isn’t exactly close, but he is closER and driving is an option which hasn’t been the case in a decade.
He still spends a decent amount of time with us, but I’m glad he can also reconnect with high school friends who either still live here or happen to be in town for the holidays. He was kinda stuck with us when we lived in Florida.
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Both kids have always celebrated Christmas with us in Honolulu, even tho they lived in DC, now NYC & LA. We are happy. We visit them too. DIL has celebrated several Christmases with us now too.
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My favorite part of having ds2 home is that all his HS friends come around. I call them my other sons. In fact, a funny story from this past December …
One of ds2’s bffs went to the first UT playoff game with another former classmate and texted me a pic of them in the stands. I thought that was so sweet for him to think of me. Later that day, I texted ds2 to ask how he liked the picture of his friends, and he said, “What are you talking about?” I told him, you know, the pic of M and R at the game. He was perplexed and told me to send it to him (I think he thought I’d lost my mind). So I did, and he calls me and says, “Wait, so M sent this to YOU? He didn’t even send it to the fantasy football group text!” So then ds did and outed him to the group. 
I apologized to M for giving him up, and he said, “You’re the biggest UT fan I know so I thought you’d appreciate it more than anyone else.” Isn’t that sweet?
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We have started a fun “coming home” tradition with D1 and her husband when they come to visit.
The first part of it happened by accident. After they left from a visit I was cleaning up their room and I found a quarter left on a dresser. Weirdly, the next visit of theirs I found another quarter while cleaning up! I texted them and said, thanks for the tip, hope you enjoyed your visit - with a picture of the quarters. Now every time they visit, I find a quarter somewhere in the room. 
The other thing that randomly got started with them is that when they are coming to visit, I leave a little something on their pillows. I’ve done the typical mint. A Hershey’s kiss. They are both readers so once I left each a homemade book mark I picked up at a craft show. Once a doggie biscuit for their pup on their pillow. 
. It’s kind of fun now!
And yes, if I have them or it flower garden weather I often leave flowers in their rooms!
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Our son (and now DIL) know that they will be loved and pampered to death whenever they visit. They invited themselves up to the cabin three times this summer. Guess it’s working.
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As the mom of a son (and I can’t help but think sometimes about the cliches around sons vs daughters and family connections)—but also just as I always want to have a warm and open home, I am also very welcoming to my son and his girlfriend!
In October I floated the idea that they could come out to my folk’s beach house for the Thanksgiving break (with myself and his grandparents), and I did all the shopping and planned out meals I knew he’d really enjoy (but he was still expected to do the dishes after dinner ). And I made sure to get all the ingredients on hand so they could do baking projects together, too. Sure enough, they hung out baking bread and cookies.
This month I had them over to stay at my house at the end of winter break, & I gave them lots of space yet also took them out to dinner and another day for brunch.
I’ve heard they’re talking about coming back to the beach house at spring break - that would be great! 
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Our S was home for Christmas several days and we were grateful. His old room is pretty much as he left it and he does have some clothing here (not that he is here that often). Funny story, he asked us “is it okay if I come in Christmas Eve, I want to visit a friend first” (said friend is a girl, but he didn’t say girlfriend). He knows us, we are just grateful whatever time he can spend with us. We had a big surprise, we decided to do a Chinese restaurant near us, which was kind of an inside joke as it is one of those places that is kind of gaudy, the food wasn’t all that great, but we used to go there after my son had performances growing up; the surprise was the food was really good. fortunately we booked a late dinner, because the Amtrak train he was taking was delayed, but we still had plenty of time.
We have an added twist to the ‘kids’, we just have our son, but he is a member of a classical string quartet, and in the last year or so they have been staying with us more and more (they were here for a couple of days this week). We redid the extra bedrooms, which had been an office, and an exercise room and what had been my son’s ‘music room’, and made them comfortable for the other members. They really have become like family, and my wife enjoys cooking for them (they love to eat, when they travel my son always shows us what they are eating, and they generally eat together most days on the road or even at home). I think they like staying here because the way our house is set up, they kind of have the midlevel as their own, and my wife and I give them all space, which I think they appreciate too.
I think he enjoys coming home, sometimes I was worried he was bored, that he often would be in his room doing things, but my wife told me he was really glad to be home and be able to detox from stress and such. Given his traveling schedule we don’t see him all that much and usually it is a couple of days, but we are glad for that time and the times when they are in our area for performances and the like because they now feel comfortable staying here. We are fortunate, our son keeps us in his life, he generally texts us every day, sends pictures of where they are, shares things going on, so in a sense we aere with him often:)
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We have always been happy when my daughter is home (when she was in college and now as a working women) and falls asleep on the couch. To me, that meant she is relaxed and not stressed. She is type A and doesn’t relax much, so any time she spends with us relaxed is a win.
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