<p>Our kids are ages 27 and 22. Some of our kids’ friends have been close to our family for two decades now and still call us “Mr. and Mrs. X.” I am thinking of suggesting we all switch to a first-name basis at this point, and do that from the start with new friends of that generation (significant others, etc. as well of course).</p>
<p>Reactions? Suggestions?</p>
<p>Of course I know this is totally up to my H and me, but I wonder if others have any experiences on this (admittedly minor) issue.</p>
<p>I prefer to be called by my first name. If one of my kids’ friends addressed me as “Mrs. X,” I would simply say, “please call me Susan.” My kids are also young adults. But I have felt this way even before they were this age!</p>
<p>I also prefer to be called by my first name.</p>
<p>It seems reasonable to me to start asking them to call you by your first name when they start working and therefore start to spend a lot of time in environments where everyone calls everyone else by their first names, regardless of age.</p>
<p>Still, if the young person was uncomfortable with the change, I wouldn’t push it.</p>
<p>^^ That (first names) is how we introduce ourselves now, but some of these kids have been family friends since the age of two or three, and all the kids in that group did “Mr. and Mrs.” So it is really an issue more with the long-timers. My kids are still in the pattern of calling their friends’ parents “Mr. and Mrs.” as well, and my college senior son even does that with respect to parents of his college friends when he visits their homes.</p>
<p>I was brought up to say “Mr./Mrs.” until specifically invited to do otherwise. But I think things have become less formal since those (long ago) times! ;)</p>
<p>I can see how it might be an issue with the young adults who have known you since they were very young and have been calling you Mrs. X all these years. Next time you see them and they call you Mrs. X, you can simply extend the "please call me ‘first name,’ " and for some, it may feel weird as they have called you by something else all these years and others may switch. You’ll have extended the invitation to switch and then it is up to them to choose.</p>
<p>When in doubt, I still use Mr. or Mrs. with friends’ parents, and I’m in my forties. </p>
<p>My kids would never use the first name of a friend’s parent unless invited to do so, and then, probably, they’d feel a little reluctant.</p>
<p>We find that most of our kids’ friends refer to us as Mr or Mrs. first initial of our last name, for some reason. I’d be find if they called me Poetgrl, but they all just pick that up from each other. I think we may be stuck with it.</p>
<p>My son started calling us (his parents) by our first names when he was about 12 or 13. At the time it was a battle we chose not to fight due to some other things going on. We thought is was just a phase. It wasn’t. It was very annoying and, mainly, disturbing to people outside our family, but it wasn’t the worst thing with which we had to deal. My husband and I have different last names and that was always confusing for the kids’ friends. Now that they are older, first names work well.</p>
<p>I am 50 years old, and I wouldn’t dream of calling my mother’s best friend by her first name, even if she asked me to. After all this time, it would be too hard to change. When I meet my friends’ parents even now, I’ll call them Mr. or Mrs.</p>
<p>I call the teachers at school Mr. and Mrs. as well (even though I once taught there; I often called them Mr. and Mrs. then, too).</p>
<p>If you wish to have your children’s friends call you and your H by your first names, you can certainly ask them to do so. My point is that I feel close to many people, including my mother’s best friend, without feeling that I have to call them by their first names.</p>
<p>Call me old school, but i prefer my kids frinds to call me Mr…i have friends’ parents whom i’ve known for nearly 40 years,and would never call them by their first name…always Mr or Mrs so and so…anything else would be disrespectful,imho</p>
<p>Funny. I have a couple of my son’s friends call me by my first name and it just bothers me for some reason. I don’t correct them however so I guess I’m stuck with it. They are not disrespectful in the least–I think that’s just what they do at home. I still call my friend’s parents Mr or Mrs.–guess it’s an age thing.
When I was working we called our co-workers by Mr or Miss (married or not) and then first name. I always loved that (guess we all did because everyone did it and it seemed so natural) (it’s Southern in a big way). That approach always seemed to bridge the respect and familiar sides very well. It’s very similar to “Mr or Mrs C” (the Cunninghams on “Happy Days”.</p>
<p>I have seen that my kids and their friends refer to me by my first name when speaking to each other, but always as “Mrs. …” when speaking directly to me. It’s kinda funny.</p>
<p>As in, “Hey, JustaSon, can you go to the movies?” “I don’t know, I have to ask <myfirstname>.”</myfirstname></p>
<p>Or, a friend would say to S or D, “I saw <myfirstname> at the grocery store today!”</myfirstname></p>
<p>But when they saw me at the store, it was “Hello, Mrs…!”</p>
<p>I still call my “elders” Mr. and Mrs. I’ve tried switching but it feels really awkward.</p>
<p>My H was old-school and preferred Mr. X; I preferred being called by my first name, but in disputes like this, the more conservative point of view wins so we are Mr. and Mrs. (actually Dr. and Mrs, but whatever) to our kids’ friends. Still, if it were wholly up to me, I’d go by my first name. I call all of my parents’ friends by their first names.</p>
<p>I have 4 adult children , and they all call parents of their friends Mr. and Mrs . I think this is still the polite thing to do . Parents can then say " Call me … " Or not !</p>
<p>My daughters’ friends have always called me by my first name, mostly because our last name is difficult to pronounce and I hate the other option, “Mrs. D”. I also hate “Ms. Firstname”. It sounds too kindergarden teacher. I call (and address emails to) everyone I meet by their first name. A person would have to be very high ranking or very old for me to “Mr.” or “Ms.” them.</p>
<p>I think the tradition to say Miss ‘first name’ or Mr. ‘first name/letter’ is very regional. We are in the mid-atlantic, but from the south, and it is indeed very common there. I have no problem with it. Most of my kids friends call me Miss ‘blueiguana’. My middle son has just launched to college this year and I have wondered how to handle this when friends come to visit, etc. When we met his RM I used first names but he really didn’t call us anything, which was fine. I would never suggest an 18yo to call me that (my first name is fine, or Mrs. lastname if they are more comfortable). I was wondering today how to handle this…I’ll just say my name and let them call me whatever I guess.</p>