<p>I handed over one of my cherished daughters to USNA with the rest of your kids a few long weeks ago. Anyway I had an occassional bad spell just before she left but overall was congratulating myself on how well I was handling the situation. Late last night I went to the grocery store to buy a few things (yes some were for care packages) and had her on my mind (she had just written how bad her feet were). She worked there for years, so in the check out line, her former supervisor asked me “do you miss her?” Out of nowhere tears welled up. I embarrassed myself. </p>
<p>Where did that come from! Anyone else have an emotional oops when you least expected it?</p>
<p>I had to laugh . . . even if we don’t want to admit it.</p>
<p>Last year, I was visiting with a colleague, a younger, female attorney. She was asking about I-day, how was it, what was it like, etc. Mind you she has no kids.</p>
<p>Next thing you know, I was half laughing, half sobbing about how great my kid [all of the kids] looked and how, at the end of the day, he was just like a whupped [or is that whooped? wupped?] puppy. His only comment being: “Can we go back to the hotel?” The thought of it brought back a lot of emotion; she had to reach for the tissues!</p>
<p>Oh well, so much for the heartless lawyer image . . .</p>
<p>Every year our neighbors host a HUGE party for the July 4th fireworks. This year it was July 1st. I also knew that a young mom of 3 girls (ages 7,11 & 14) would be at the party. She had lost her husband to melanoma two months ago. I knew she was emotionally fragile but offered her my condolences with respect. I keeped my OWN emotions in check until she asked how my son (AFA 2010) was. It seems we each needed the cry fest.</p>
<p>I’ve learned to be ready for the unexpected event to tried a tearful “parent moment”. </p>
<p>Last weekend I was mowing the lawn and saw a butterfly. It triggered a memory of our yearling son mowing the lawn years ago. I saw him stop the mower, bend over, and move a catepillar out of the way before restarting the mower and continuing.</p>
<p>Who would guess that tenderhearted boy would grow into my “warrior” son.</p>
<p>Has everyone cleaned out the kid’s room?? I’m having an issue with that. It has to be done because we’re putting on an addition to the house that involves renovation to that room. I can only do it a little bit at a time. I usually get sidetracked by some little memento. Sometimes I end up lying on the bed. I feel really silly admitting all this (I am in good company, right?), but it’s a bit difficult to accept the fact that he doesn’t REALLY live here any more.</p>
<p>I know he’ll be coming home off & on and all that, and I know I’ll get over this separation thing - seems I have to do it all in baby steps tho’.
I’m just curious if everyone else has had any difficulty with “the room”. Are you keeping it just like they left it or what?</p>
<p>Liked your story aspen - amazing how those little boys grow up to be “warriors”. I guess it’s natural!
Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories.</p>
<p>I think I did a stupid thing…I rented National Geographic’s Surviving West Point. It was taken during CBT of the '05 class. I haven’t watched the whole thing yet. It is very hard to watch, knowing that my “baby” is going through that right now. It is getting very hot up here, the weekend is supposed to be in the upper 80’s and 90’s and hot and humid. I guess after watching it, I can understand why they do not have time to write.</p>
<p>Oh, the room! He spent days getting it cleaned out before he left, but there’s still so much more to do. Not high on my list of things to do right now…it reminds me too much of the past. I’d rather spend my time searching for his face on the photo sites. That makes me feel more connected to him.</p>
<p>I was a complete basket case last year. Every time I talked about R-Day, Beast, 5-minute phone calls, 90-second goodbyes, I’d lose it. At A-Day, I was so happy, but that was such a short visit I was crying again. And then I noticed that I wasn’t crying whenever I saw a trigger that reminded me of something. Then came PPW as well as some short trips home. I’d get a bit choked up, but not cry - which still happens once in a while. But…I’m not bawling at the drop of a hat and haven’t since the whole Beast experience was over. It’s so hard because not only do we miss them, but we know that they aren’t off having a vacation. They are having a very tough time and that’s why it’s so acute.</p>
<p>So, yes, so many of us have experienced those surprise moments when we’re suddenly crying. It will get better.</p>
<p>As for the room, I’ve kept it exactly the same - just less cluttered.</p>
<p>As the KP parents know, as well as many others of you, USMMA is the only Academy that has and still does send its students into theaters of war as part of their training. </p>
<p>Today, it is purely on a volunteer basis. LFWB was one of those who volunteered and arrived in Iraq on a supply run Wednesday and will be there until tomorrow and then goes to Kuwait and leaves there Sunday.</p>
<p>I am tremendously proud of his willingness to serve and felt a little trepidation, but I was amazed at how aware I am all the time now that he is actually in Iraq. And its only for 4 days! </p>
<p>For the parents who have sons and daughters on extended deployments, you have even more of my prayers and utmost admiration.</p>
<p>Worrying about Indoc last year was a piece of cake compared to this :-)</p>
<p>The good news is that, Like momoftwins said, it does get better. I also think Plebe Parents Weekend was the turning point for me. Seeing our son proudly escort us through his new “home” made a huge difference. Make sure to attend PPW if at all possible. For your sake and your cadet’s.</p>
<p>The bad news is that I believe the sense of loss never totally goes away. Last week I was at a family wedding and as we wrapped up our visit I saw tears in my mother’s eyes. She said it was so good to have the whole family together and that she still missed having all the kids at home. </p>
<p>Regarding the room, our cadet son shared a room with his younger brother. After his departure, we asked our younger son how he wanted to change the room. Surprisingly, he said he wanted to leave it the same. So that’s what we’ve done. That was just fine with my wife who took almost a year to put away our cadet’s graduation party display pictures.</p>
<p>" For the parents who have sons and daughters on extended deployments, you have even more of my prayers and utmost admiration." lfwb dad</p>
<p>You’re right because these are the families whose children are truly in dangerous situations. I kept reminding myself of that fact last year during plebe summer.</p>
<p>I sitting in my DD’s room as I write this. Since the packers are coming on Tuesday for our move to Japan, I have her room pretty well stripped. Her grandfather’s old foot locker is packed with trophies, scrapbooks, the memorabilia of her 17 years. I haven’t allowed myself much time to think about the gaping hole left by her absence.</p>
<p>While I miss her smiling face, her need to snuggle at least once a day, and her plaintive, “Mom, will you tuck me in?” at night, I really don’t worry. She is where she is supposed to be, and I am relieved to know that she is safe and happy.</p>
<p>We had a unique opportunity to put plebe summer into perspective last week. My older daughter, a Marine stationed at Camp Pendleton, came home with her boyfriend/fiance for the 4th of July. This young man had just returned from Iraq in May and is leaving for Afghanistan in the next month or two. He is a quiet, self-effacing guy who didn’t shy away from answering questions about the war, but did not offer information unless asked.</p>
<p>BF (boyfriend) has a tattoo on his right bicep. It is a black band with a small oval and some writing in it.When hubby asked about the tattoo, he replied that it is the dogtag of the young man who died while shielding BF from a mortar round. Of the 11 Marines in that patrol, only two walked away uninjured… BF was one of them.</p>
<p>After listening to some of his stories, I was able to let go of my angst about DD at plebe summer.</p>
<p>I had a bad day last Friday after scanning through the tons of pictures of the plebes on the internet- but could not find one of my son. I just started to cry- thinking I would give a million dollars to see his face smiling. Have gotten 4 letters so far- and it makes me cry and smile at the same time to see the love, Bobby just like he did when he was younger. Now instead of crayon drawings on my fridge- I have all of his letters. I heard the song, I want to go home on the radio coming home from the grocery store and it made me cry - I guess I wish I could just talk to him and see how hes doing.</p>
<p>beachmom,
many 3rd class midshipmen had summer cruises originating in Japan this summer. Maybe your mid will be there next summer for her grey hull cruise. We drove by Camp Pendleton two weeks ago–always mindful of the bravery and sacrifice of our courageous Marines. Thanks for sharing.</p>
<p>After 10 letters (from a child who absolutely hates to write letters!) and a great 20 minute phone call last Sunday, even though I feel sorry for myself sometimes, I feel ecstatic for my son who is right where he wanted to be (more than anything in the world!). </p>
<p>Sure he writes that he misses us SOOOO much and that he’s taken so much for granted in the past, and please send LOVE!!! and letters of course, but I feel so thankful that this young man is living his dream (we should all be so lucky!). Sure, I am sad sometimes, but I know that he had to leave at some point in time, and to head out for his dream… well it’s just more than fine with me!</p>
<p>I still scour the websites for his photo every day and it makes me feel incredible when I spot him… but when I don’t, I think of all the wonderful photos I am seeing and all those happy parents that are “finding their Waldo” and I have to smile, really smile!</p>
<p>I feel so blessed and sometimes I feel it’s so good, it surely must be a dream! If it is don’t wake me… or him!</p>
<p>Our oldest, our son, is now 20 and will be a junior in Sept.<br>
After an acute separation attack two years ago, I’ve gotten it together a bit. The whole ‘going away’ to college thing is actually kind to us moms and dads…allows us to let go in stages. Not seeing our son for weeks or months at a time was torture at first and now seems ‘normal’. Preparation for when he decides to LIVE somewhere thousands of miles away? I hope not!!</p>
<p>I am amazed at son’s growth in last two years. Hearing his voice on the phone is pure music and our conversations are lovely (distinctly different from some in person exchanges about dirty dishes in the sink).
And the best is the “I love you too” at the end of the call…sounds like he means it. Sigh.</p>
<p>Musicmom-This sounds so familiar. Our oldest (the Marine) has grown by leaps and bounds in the past few months. Her phone calls are a joy; we exchange “girl talk” rather than me having to nag her constantly. It is amazing how my IQ must have increased lately. She has stopped saying, “you don’t understand” and “you don’t know what you are talking about.” I keep wondering, “who are you and what have you done with my child?”</p>
<p>But I am enjoying this immensely while it lasts!</p>
<p>beachmom-
Witnessing the amazing people our (grown) children have become is our reward for years of challenging child rearing. Glad you are enjoying it too!</p>