S2 graduated and began a new job in a male dominated office. He’s living an hour from his two best college friends and doesn’t see them much. He has no other social life. His only hobbies are video games and working out (weights circuit - no social contact). He’s always been shy, but it’s turning into a hermit. I’m threatening to get him eHarmony for Christmas, but I doubt there are many girls his age on that. Ideas???
Okcupid has a fairy thorough questionnaire that results in very compatible matches. I believe it also has the option to search for friendships, not necessarily relationships. Almost everyone I know who has recently married or begun a relationship met their partner online. Help him choose a good profile pic, as it can make or break the chance to meet certain women. According to my sources, way too many men post photos of their toned bods thinking that’s what impresses women.
Around here (coastal So Cal), a lot of the 20 somethings go to various meetups. Meetups are get-togethers of people with similar interests - a hobby or activity they have in common, say hiking or a sport, or career-related like programming or investing or real estate, etc. You get the idea…
He can browse the local meetups in his area to see what appeals to him. Or you could browse for him and make suggestions… 
I feel your pain…
Then again, maybe they aren’t telling us everything.
College. Internships. Internet dating sites. Volunteerism. Through friends. Meh…same stuff, different decade.
I don’t know, either, @AllThisIsNewToMe me. My son’s been on actual dates from Tinder (I know, it’s got a bad reputation). Dates where you go apple picking or cook together, so not just hookups. However, see @busdriver11 's comment.
In Seattle & Portland, a lot of millennials play sports through a league called Underdog. They have quite a few different sports, including kickball. 
Even in another city, maybe he could find a sports league to join.
Agree that Meetups are a good option, too.
Apps & Internet
Tinder doesn’t have a bad rap among most 20-somethings. I’m not entirely sure why that idea continues to persist.
My sister just married someone this past weekend that she met on Tinder a few years ago.
Not sure which site my D and now SIL met two years ago. Wedding was in Sept.
Many of their friends have met and married the same way!
SIL is amazing!!! D is also but we always knew that…
My D met her boyfriend through bumble. I hear coffee meets bagel is good also. There’s been posts before about dating apps, I’m not going into it but do a search. D met a gem, he’s a really nice guy.
Cross fit gyms are very social. I know they get a bad rap but he can try different gyms and find one that works for him. He’s already lifting weights so adding cardio won’t be bad. My D has met a lot of good friends this way.
One of her friends plays magic cards. I have no knowledge but know that they have a social group from this.
Once she put herself out, she found lots of opportunities to met people. She’s been asked to join softball teams and volleyball teams. I know that when my s was in Wisconsin one year to work, he joined a bowling league and there was a company golf league.
The key is to put yourself out.
My son has.a good day job but always feels the need for a side gig. He worked as a “doorman” (bouncer) at a downtown bar. He met his girlfriend there. Not sure if he was on the job or just visiting or if they ran into each other on multiple occasions. I will have to inquire without seeming nosy. He doesn’t work there any more and now has a restaurant side gig with better hours. (I think he would have been mortified if I’d ever gotten him eHarmony. I know he’s used Tinder.)
D1 met her SO while in college.
D2 met her current BF through her high school friend (friend of a friend).
I recently went out with a good friend and her 2 adults kids. The daughter met her current BF through an online dating site, but went to the same college as her older brother. I don’t remember the site, but she said the site showed people’s connections to you. The son (26 yr old) is currently on multiple dating sites. I happened to remember a young woman who may want to date, so I introduced them and they are going to meet.
These young adults are all good looking, pleasant personality, with good jobs, but it is hard for them to meet people through their day to day activities. A lot of them are turning to dating sites.
Tinder is fine. My daughter met two boyfriends that way, and some of her friends have also met their partners thru Tinder.
But I think your son needs platonic friends, not just a romantic partner. Is he interested in volunteering? Attending religious services? Learning a new skill? Playing a club sport?
My son, who is still in college, had no friends until he joined a Dungeons and Dragons group, and a badminton club.
When my D broke up with her college boyfriend, she went on a Jewish oriented dating site. The first three matches were guys she had already known for years. At that point, she gave up on online dating. She met her current boyfriend when she was running a volunteer program for her then employer. She invited him and two of his friends to participate in another volunteer project and he showed up.
It’s my middle son, 23, who I worry about. He dropped out of college, is living at home and not working. He has tons of guy friends and a couple of platonic female friends but has never had a girlfriend (or a boyfriend, I honestly have NO clue about his orientation and I don’t really care, though I would like him to find someone).
I want to say that my D is shy also. Quiet until you get to know her.
But she found that she needed to find people to do things with. She went through a break up and really pushed herself to find places to meet people (at first she wanted friends not a romantic relationship). She wanted to break out of her shell and worked at it. Asked people to do things with her. Go to sushi, or go to a baseball game. Or go to a street festival or that new brewery.
It was hard! And not comfortable. But once she did, she found the friends she was lacking before the breakup. Dating came later.
She also has a side gig as an exercise instructor. Found that helped in talking to people because her side gig forced her to. And it’s easier to talk when you have something set to talk about.
But he has to want to get out. You can be supportive but in the end, he has to want it. And to work at it.
When you are shy, it’s work to make friends. I don’t think outgoing people get that.
Happily doing wedding planning now with DD and her OKCupid match from 5 years ago.
Thinking that for those who generally avoid social situations, dating focus may seem very high stakes. Choosing one activity where peers will also be participating could be a good start.
Maybe there’s a market for a CC parent matchmaking service!
I think that it was always challenging. Parties aren’t going to help much particularly if everyone you know is an engineer or computer person and therefore nearly all are men (and the women are spoken for). All of the talk about sexual harassment has probably made at least some men even more reluctant than in the past to approach women that they don’t already know. Also, going for a long time (even a month) without talking to any single women is going to make a man sort of nervous when they do meet a single woman, which is not generally the right thing if they want to make a good impression.
As such, I think that some sort of dating service or on-line dating site is probably the main method that is still available. Three very important advantages of a dating service: (i) You know you are meeting someone who actually at least wants to talk to you; (ii) You know you will meet someone else within the next couple of weeks, and therefore don’t need to be so nervous about this person that you are meeting now; (iii) You stay in practice talking to members of the opposite sex.
First question: does he want to meet new prospective dates/partners???
D1 wasn’t meeting anyone worthwhile just through her regular channels of work, exercise class, friends, etc. In the spring she signed up for Coffee Meets Bagel just to enjoy some dating. She’s 28. She dated a few guys she paired up with. She now has a boyfriend who she seems quite enamored with through the app - and make the decision a month or two ago to date him exclusively. They seem like a great match!
He should know that it’s ok to date just to date. That he doesn’t have to be looking for a permanent partner.
D met her fiance when she was out at the bar with her roommate, a woman she did not know prior to answering a roommate add online. Fiance is friends with the roommate’s now-ex boyfriend. By the way, D was sure she’d never meet anyone after graduation.
S met his girlfriend on a dating site for people who don’t want kids.