<p>I think the theory is that since it’s a pretty poor school, they can’t compete with other schools in having trips, after-prom parties, junior proms, fashion shows and stuff, but the kids do deserve something special that doesn’t seem cut-rate, or singling them out as not being worthy of the same prom experience that the rest of the community takes for granted. (I’m not sure if I worded that in a way that makes sence.)</p>
<p>^I just hope that the prom doesn’t turn out like some of the quincineras in our part of the country. Whole families get together to financially pay for the show and some families go into debt. </p>
<p>If you think borrowing large sums of money for college are bad, this is definitely not a good idea.</p>
<p>This is clearly very regional as to how much is spent (let alone varies by family). I can’t imagine prom tickets costing that much! I don’t recall what they cost my kids…at most $40. Did not go by limo. Older D went alone by car because the prom was the night of her dance recital in a different city and she changed backstage and left early and went to it. D2 went in a horse drawn thing as best friend’s parents own that and a country inn…where we all took photos with our own cameras beforehand…goregous setting and scenery. Zero cost but developing the film. Dress cost about $100…was cocktail length dress. I forget D1’s dress cost but it was probably about $180 for the gown. D1 did her own hair. D2 went to the hairdresser’s (we paid…did not cost a lot). Neither had manicures or pedicures. Don’t know anyone who went to a tanning salon for prom either. Prom was not a major expense other than the party dress/shoes. And certainly nobody here wears an $800 prom gown.</p>
<p>There is no senior trip. </p>
<p>There is a Project Graduation (non-alcohol event) party/event following graduation which is very very low cost.</p>
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I don’t think the cost is quite that high! Most dresses are in the $100 or less range and not everyone does the limo thing. It is an expense, for sure, but if there were an outcry, it could change, but most families do want something special and memorable.</p>
<p>In the NYC, it can go over the top. It also depends heavily, however, on who your child’s friends are. If the whole bunch of them decide to make it a special spa day, total body rejuvenation experience, your D might want to join in for the fun of it all. If you can afford it, that’s fine. </p>
<p>Some moms I know go to a day spa once in a while and make it a “mom’s” outing. I think I deserve a spa day with the all the troubles my kids have given me, and I would love to go with them for the company, as I like these women, but it does not fit in my budget. They have the money to do it. With all the college and school tuition I’m paying, I do not go. So I meet them for lunch dates or other lower cost things and decline the spa days.</p>
<p>My cleaning lady recently held a huge party for her daughter who had her first holy communion. Spent a fortune at a bridal shop for the dress and didn’t spare a dime on the celebration. This is not the sort of thing we usually see for first holy communions but this was important to them. My friend is spending a veritable fortune on a wedding reception for her child. I won’t be spending that kind of money for any celebrations unless I win the lottery or get some other financial windfall. But that’s their business. I know that my kids went to some Bar and Bat Mitzvahs that I thought were really horribly over the top. Believe me, there was no reciprocity on those deals on our part. But it’s not my business how people spend their money. We have family indulgences too, but not on that order, but indulgences nonetheless.</p>
<p>I’ve never been to a day spa in my life, or tanned or had a manicure or pedicure, or had my eyebrows or anything else waxed. I also haven’t had a salon haircut in two years. Daughter will, however, get the hair/make-up/nails package at the local salon. It was $125 when D1 went, so it will probably be $150 for this daughter.</p>
<p>I think prom tickets in my area are $40. The proms are at the school gyms.</p>
<p>The First Holy Communion thing is huge here, too, as are Christening parties and first birthday parties. The latter two are almost like a continuation of the engagement/wedding. You go from engagement party to shower to wedding to baby shower to first birthday party and then it ends until the next kid. I’m glad I’m not Italian-American/Catholic, as my in-laws are, because those things are expected and I’m just not good at those things. D2 was in a Sweet 16 this past summer where there were 10 attendants, a band, a DJ, a lavish catered affair with limousines. The gift my daughter received for being in the court were amazing. Including an entire photo album, personalized, of her relationship with the birthday girl and lovely studio pictures of my daughter in her court dress.</p>
<p>Tanning ? Give me a break.</p>
<p>No senior trip here or any other dance, except homecoming. We paid for it all - 4 proms in 2 years - 2 were the boy friend’s prom so we only had daughter’s expenses. When my daughter said everyone was getting hair, nails, etc she was right. I knew all the girls and their moms. One junior prom the kids carpooled, some had their licenses and came back right after the dance for a house party. The same plan was made for one senior prom but one mom decided at the last minute to pay for a limo for the 3 couples going together. She had an in and refused an offer to share the expense. I stopped adding what the cost was after the first prom - just went with the flow. I did set a price limit for dress cost, same shoes worn for all 4 proms. Daughter is very thin and had problems finding dresses in the store, so many were ordered on line - for one dance we had 8 dresses hanging in a door - 4 dresses, 2 sizes for each. I did not even want to open my credit card bill that month.</p>
<p>The prom tickets are not bank breakers. It’s the other stuff: the limo, the after prom, the pre prom. For girls, the list goes on even longer: an expensive dress and accessories alone can cost a fortune, the hair, the nails, the spa, the make up session, the tanning salon, etc. Boys are easier. You give 'em a tux and order the flowers.</p>
<p>Tickets here $35 for prom, $25 winter formal, $15 homecoming. We complain more about ticket fees for the high school football games! However if you have an athlete playing you can purchase a family pass (unlimited guests) for $50. And since we have a large family that worked well for us.</p>
<p>And with the dances it is cheaper if you purchase ahead of time than at the door.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>At our local high school the proms (both junior and senior) are held at local hotels or country clubs and the tickets for the junior prom include a dinner – which is a waste as the kids do not eat the food. I don’t recall the ticket prices (son had a part-time job and paid). For senior prom the tradition is for the kids to either go out to dinner before or eat in groups at a friend’s home – with parents invited to take pics and stay after to socialize.</p>
<p>My son already had a tux (needed for a performing group he was in). I was so impressed with his girlfriend, who wore for her junior prom the dress she had worn to be a bridesmaid at her brother’s wedding that same month. </p>
<p>My son did not have his driver’s license (only a permit) at the time of junior prom, so hubby and I offered to fund a limo rental. Son thanked us and said he would discuss it with his girlfriend. She told him to thank us but no, she considered a limo pretentious and an unnecessary extravagance and would be fine with **the parents **driving them!! So one set of parents drove them over and we picked them up. I still tell my son (who is still with this girl two years later although they go to different colleges) how impressed I was with how sensible the GF was at such a young age. She comes from a family that is financially comfortable (McMansion house, etc.) but is very practical. Her best friend and she did each others’ hair.</p>
<p>For senior prom son did drive our black SUV. (We had it washed for the occasion. 
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<p>Many kids in our upscale suburban area do rent limos, etc. though. It is probably much more typical than not. Some also do the tanning thing. </p>
<p>One suggestion: Put the name somewhere in the tux jacket. There was confusion when the guys removed their jackets and some took the wrong ones home. Since then I have sewn a nametag in son’s dress jackets.</p>
<p>^Katwkittens’ area seems sensible.</p>
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<p>I’m surprised that your observation didn’t nip that romance in the bud!!</p>
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<p>^ Not likely – he is devoted to her.
Yeah, I have also told him if he ends up with this girl I will always be able to sleep well at night – not a floozie, very practical.</p>
<p>Around here (Central Coast CA) it runs the gamut. My favorite story: years ago friend’s daughter went with the son of a celebrity. A limo took them to the local airport, a private plane flew them to SF where yet another limo met them and took them to dinner, then back to the local airport, limo to the prom. He was joking about how the rest of her life was downhill from there and her wedding was sure to be a disappointment!
Given that it is a high school prom even though we can afford some luxuries I keep it in perspective. Dress was on sale for $60 not ordered via web at $300 as others did, hair is at the regular place where it is a lot cheaper than our neighborhood. Nails at the inexpensive place. No tanning, no makeup, no professional pictures. Friends organized the limo so that each is only chipping in a bit. They are still figuring out the dinner but it will be relatively inexpensive and dutch treat.
The ticket for prom was more than 100 in previous years, this year the Senior Class President wisely opted for a cheaper venue.<br>
My older son didn’t attend his prom. He figured the cost at around 300 and didn’t want to spend the money to just take a friend.
Generally speaking, these events need to be scaled back. They have become a competition to see which parent can spend the most money they don’t have as if that proves how much they love their darling child. Yuk!</p>
<p>I always thought all proms included a formal dinner. I’m genuinely surprised that they don’t. They all do around here.</p>
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<p>I think the economy will be doing that for us…along with the scaling back of a lot of things.</p>