<p>A few recommendations:<br>
Self tanner will not only save money but save your skin.<br>
Hair- I had mine done, but it was a hairsprayed mess. I should have just had my mom or one of my more talented friends do it.<br>
Makeup- because of pictures, I went to my local MAC counter and paid $50 for an application (that money goes towards product, so you can stock up). If going that route, an appointment is a necessity.
I did do the mani/pedi thing, but even in LA you can get those done for under $30.</p>
<p>D has a job and D is paying for all prom expenses as far as I know. Totally not my problem.</p>
<p>We gave D $150 for the entire budget. Boy friend paid for the tix, school included a bus ride to the venue in the ticket price, event included dinner. H is a costumer and got the loan of a custom made silk dress from Deborah Kerr circa 1955. It was the BEST PROM DRESS EVER. I do really think just giving her the $150 in cash made her frugal. After the prom she still had $45 left.( Have her take a look at some bad past prom pictures. Spending lots of money in no way insures a fabulous look.)</p>
<p>cmbmom, for my older D…due to time constraints and shopping constraints in our region…we also ordered a couple of dresses online and returned the ones that did not work. </p>
<p>Prom does not include dinner here but many go out to dinner first on their own. </p>
<p>Again, I think a lot of what is done and the level it is done at is regional. </p>
<p>My younger D was invited to a Bar Mitzvah in Westchester County and since we live in Vermont and we were going to be in NJ since it was around Thanksgiving weekend, the parents invited me and my other D to join the event. My kids had never seen anything like this (they attended no such events in our region for starters) but even I had never seen anything like it and I grew up in South Jersey. The extravagance was very very very over the top. </p>
<p>Someone posted above about a Sweet 16 with a “court”?? Wow. I had a Sweet Sixteen luncheon at a club for my girlfriends and my mom’s friends and relatives (all female). A court? I still can’t imagine this. My girls have not had Sweet 16s as NOBODY here has them.</p>
<p>
Neither of mine had a Sweet 16 (actually, they’ve never had a birthday party at all), but both were members of courts. D2 was an attendant at a quince party, as well. That was expensive. The dancing lessons alone were a huge commitment of time and money.</p>
<p>Sweet Sixteens in some of the Hispanic communities are incredible. It is not necessarily a sign of wealth that folks do a lot for certain occasions. It is a matter of priorities on how to spend the money. I know families who feel that private college is outrageously expensive but will borrow a year’s cost for a wedding.</p>
<p>tanning around here consists of the “SPRAY” tan not laying on the tanning bed.</p>
<p>Tanning here is pulling weeds in my yard.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>When it comes to inner city school students paying hundreds of dollars for prom tickets, since relatively few such students go to college or even get married, prom is their major lavish event of their life except for possibly their funerals. That’s why they find a way to go all out.</p>
<p>That’s exactly right NSM. Most of the kids don’t go to college, and not so many get married, either.</p>
<p>whatever4: I haven’t read all of the responses, so I’m positive mine will be redundant…Sit D down, and have the heart to heart we should all have already had with our kids by now, “The economy is in the gutter. There will be no expenses for prom other than the already spent $100. You will do your own hair, nails and makeup, and there is no tanning for health and financial reasons. Any other money to be laid out is all on you, and it is NOT to come from your savings or college fund. You will have to johnny hustle to make that money. I suggest you don’t waste your time.”</p>
<p>And I’d stick to it.</p>
<p>zoosermom…yes, I understand. That’s why I think this expense and what is spent on it is regional in nature (and then by family within that local culture).</p>
<p>I think it depends on a few things - your family’s financial situation, and how many proms she expects to attend being the two major considerations.</p>
<p>If you’re finances are tight, you need to be upfront with your D about what you can afford.</p>
<p>But if it’s simply that you think spending on a prom dress, hair, etc is wasteful because it’s not something that was important to you, then I’d stop to consider whether this is something that is really important to your D, or if she’s just going along with the crowd. Around here, prom is huge. A girl would have to be a real independent-thinker not to want to be part of the excitement. And prom includes a fancy dress (or rented tux), hair, and a limo shared with a group of friends.</p>
<p>We just paid more than I had planned for D’s prom dress, and we never considered asking her to contribute. But she was told up front: I buy ONE prom dress. Get the one you really want, because it’s the only one I’m buying. Our h.s. only has one prom, and it’s junior year. If she ends up going to more than one prom, then she can re-wear the same dress or borrow one from a friend. I also paid for the shoes (not expensive, she went to DSW), and told her I’d pay to get her hair done at our usual hairdresser. We are also paying for the tickets ($50 each, includes complete dinner) and their share of the limo (actually a party bus that holds 20 couples, so cost per couple isn’t too high). I told D that she could paint her nails herself, and I will NOT pay for tanning because I think it’s unsafe. Again, D only has one prom. If she goes to another prom next year, it will be on her dime. </p>
<p>A lot of girls here trade dresses around for proms and banquets. It seems like everyone buys at least one prom dress and a couple of semi-formal dresses, but borrowing dresses from each other is half of the fun.</p>
<p>I can understand the hesitation to throw hundreds of dollars at an event that lasts one evening, for a teenager, especially in this economy. But we viewed it as a one-time deal, a rite of passage.</p>
<p>NO Limos allowed-- NO cars either.
Prom is come to the school, get in a chartered bus (staff checks breath on the way on the bus) take to hotel for dinner/dancing. bus brings u back to school.</p>
<p>Cost: $140 EACH. plus tux flowers etc. this is northern NJ.</p>
<p>It was not overly costly for us and we paid for it all and not our daughters. But things don’t sound quite as overdone in terms of money in our neck of the woods.</p>
<p>We paid for D’s dresses & shoes, since she is a pretty frugal kid. We also paid for a hairdresser who came to our house & fixed D’s hair nicely at a reasonable rate (I think it was about $20 or $30). Make up was “free” at the department store if you purchased, so that’s where she went for both proms (I have no clue about make up & she wanted some anyway).
We also paid her share of the limo (about $50) she & her friends rented for the proms–about 6-8 kids per limo. Oh yea, we also paid for the bid, which included dinner. The dates paid for the photos.</p>
<p>Prom tickets at my daughter’s school were $50 a person; dinner, dance, and favors for each person. Photos were optional and I think we bought the basic package. The post prom (only for seniors and their dates) was paid for by the Mother’s Club and included bus service which was mandatory.</p>
<p>No one that I know of had their makeup done, some did fake tan. Hair - $40, mani-pedi- $35, jewelry - Claire’s for cheap sparkly stuff. And flowers, this is where the girls get a break, boutonnieres are a lot cheaper than corsages.</p>
<p>There is one formal dance at daughter’s college, for seniors. Prom was big at her high school and at most schools here, and we did enjoy shopping together (online and in store) for the event.</p>
<p>I think you’re right to limit what you’ll pay. Plus, girls do strange things with their hair that they end up regretting five years later. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any picture of a girl at a prom that looks anywhere as pretty as the girl would have looked on an ordinary day.</p>
<p>I would pay for one expensive prom senior year if that is what my child really wants. It would have limits, but I would see what friends are doing, and act accordingly. Heck, I’ve paid for my share of luxuries that I did not feel were necessities, but we could do it and it was something they really wanted. If things were too tight, that would be a whole different story.</p>
<p>My D is not frugal; $$ falls through her fingers like water. I’m thinking of giving her a set amount - maybe $150 - and having her spend it any way she wants.</p>