<p>My dog (of course)</p>
<p>I think women and men define this sort of “emotional support” in different ways. Once I figured this out and accepted dear H’s definition and sincere efforts----I was much happier with the whole situation.</p>
<p>And yah…gotta admit he can’t wag his tail as well as my two male dogs, but he’s pretty cute when I come thru the door at night… he runs up to me along with the pups and give it his darndest.</p>
<p>Not my DH. He too is of the “Who’s fault was it?” and “Do you want me to hit them for you?” variety.</p>
<p>Not my sister, even though I talk to her several times a week. She is of the, “Oh, you think you had a bad day!” variety.</p>
<p>Not my women friends in town, although I have numerous and we share a lot.</p>
<p>Instead, it would have to be my oldest friend in the world (we’ve known each other since kindergarten). Even though I only talk to her maybe twice a year, she gets exactly what I’m talking about and understands me the most.</p>
<p>I’d have to admit, though, that I’ve become pretty self-reliant. I’ve learned not to expect too much from other people emotionally.</p>
<p>My female friends are the best. </p>
<p>My H… I have to hand it to him - he is not the best support in every little thing and sometimes has the idea that I can/should “just get over it, just don’t let it bother you.” But when it comes to the big stuff, he always has my back and unconditionally supports me in whatever I need to do (death in family, bad job situation where I needed to move on…). I think I’d better go thank him :).</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yes, very much so. The women as well. I’m very lucky.</p>
<p>loved the “My Dog” , mine too. My husband thinks that he always has to “fix” things for me when all I want to do is vent. I can fix things on my own. I have to admit, he is a good listener too.</p>
<p>My sister and a few coworkers. My husband is a nice person but does not seem able to provide emotional support to anyone except himself.</p>
<p>My husband. He’s very kind and thoughtful. He accepts me for who I am, and I feel comfortable sharing anything with him. He may not always understand, but he’s willing to listen and does not have a judgmental bone in his body. And a hug from him will make a lot of things better :)</p>
<p>The women at work all tell him their problems. He’s a good listener. Actually, he’s really quiet and is perplexed as to why he seems to attract this sort of attention.</p>
<p>Usually, the people I support the most.</p>
<p>Another “sister wife” here. After 30 years of marriage, DH still does not understand that when I am upset about something, I am looking for a sympathetic ear. His response is to “fix it” as efficiently as possible. He is also much more interested in talking than listening, and he interrupts.</p>
<p>It’s my husband. We’ve had our differences, but when ***** hits the fan, he is always in my corner. </p>
<p>I do not share “adult problems” with my girls, even with 22 year old D1 because I don’t feel it’s fair to burden her with it. Adult problems include job security, money, relationship with H, my girlfriends, or my parents/siblings. On the other hand, my girls would often come to me with their problem instead of discussing it with their girlfriends. D1 has a close boyfriend, so I think she leans on him more now. I feel it’s ok for me to support them emotionally, but I won’t burden them with my own problem.</p>
<p>Sorry I read this question. Wow. I realized that I’m down to three people: Me, Myself, and My Imaginary Friend, George.<br>
I can’t even trust my cat–he bites.</p>
<p>Yes, when the going gets tough, H is right behind me–using me as a shield. H is fun when the weather is fair, but in a crisis, George is the only one I can depend on. </p>
<p>My older kids are sometimes helpful, but I don’t depend on them for “emotional” support.</p>
<p>DH is great when my problem is of the practical variety. He’s a do-er, a solver. He has great common sense, tons more perspective than I do, and can calm me down when I’m spinning into panic.</p>
<p>When I just need someone to listen to me, he’s definitely not the one! Some problems don’t need solving, they just need airing.</p>
<p>I admit I don’t always appreciate the way my H * does* support me.
He is not great with saying the “right thing”- but he is a wonderful listener & he is virtually always patient & understanding.
( he has learned alot over the years 
)
While I sometimes wish he had a gift with words- his willingness to listen to what I need to tell & his patience at not rushing me means more in the long run than flowery language.</p>
<p>Throughout my life, the thing that has annoyed me the most is when I’m telling someone about a problem person – co-worker, boss, friend, relative, ummmm – dare I say it, husband – and the person I’m talking to tells me that I need to behave differently to change the problem person’s behavior. I accepted that when I was younger, but guess what – their behavior is not something I’m responsible for fixing. </p>
<p>While I do want to make sure my communication is clear and direct, it’s rarely the situation that if I did something or said something differently, the other person would act the way I think they should act.</p>
<p>I bring this up here because, when I go looking for emotional support, a lot of the time I just get the line, "You should do this . . . " or "You should do that. . . " Ummmm – no, not necessarily. Not everything is under my control.</p>
<p>Amen to that, VeryHappy! And chance are, with those problem people you HAVE tried a multitude of different tactics already.</p>
<p>Atomom–your comment has got to be one of the funniest I have ever seen on here:
“DH is right behind me–using me as a shield” </p>
<p>Hilarious, and so true for many of us.</p>
<p>“Who emotionally supports you the most?”</p>
<p>-I have 3 friends who are the best in this area: I, me and myself.</p>
<p>Definitely my DH. We can basically talk 24 hours a day if given the chance. We just had dumb luck in finding each other 32 years ago when we were kids and not even interested in marriage or anything long term. I honestly can say I don’t recall a single day of my marriage when I had to “work” at it. We just fit and always have.</p>
<p>Then there’s my BF who I believe I’ve managed to talk to at least by phone virtually every single day for the last eight years. </p>
<p>Between DH and BF – I’m pretty well supported and when even that doesn’t handle it – there’s chocolate and shopping.</p>
<p>Great question. I am comforted to know that I am not the only one not answering “not my husband!” Seriously, that makes me kind of sad, but unless it’s a very critical issue, it seems he can’t be bothered. </p>
<p>I would say my kids are my sounding board and I have one friend to who we are each others sounding board - especially about our kids!</p>
<p>You might like this one: Years ago when I was feeling low and nattering on to my H about how I had no friends and was lonely, he thought about it for a moment and then said, very seriously, “Maybe if you learned to play an instrument.” </p>
<p>To this day, I think that is the funniest thing he ever said.</p>