<p>I have one girlfriend who is a sounding board for issues related to my Christian spiritual journey, and another who is great at listening to all the trivial, daily life stuff, especially related to the kids, school, and sports. I’d say they support me the most. Sometimes my DH rises to the occasion admirably, but more often my problems exasperate him because he thinks I expect him to fix them and he knows he can’t. In reality, all I want is for him to listen and offer comfort and encouragement as needed.</p>
<p>It was my husband, now I dont know.</p>
<p>I hear you sistersunnie----thanks to some of your posts on your very tough experience, I have become much more appreciative of my H. Thanks and hugs.</p>
<p>It used to be certain GFs, then I moved to a new town and it was sad to start over, not that I did not find nice friends, but without the history together, they could not truly appreciate the significance of certain events. I think I really realised this when some great surprising things happened to my kids, one old friend would really have gotten it, but it had been years since I lived there and we had drifted apart. I really missed having someone to truly ‘get it’</p>
<p>My sister has become the 1 person I can call to vent/natter/whine/praise/etc. We have an agreed, no fix, no fault vent session any time it is needed. We have reached the point where it is safe to complain about our DHs foibles, and know the other one will not judge the guy, but rather will know the DH is wonderful, yet can still drive us crazy at times (as we drive them crazy)</p>
<p>I used to talk to my mother when I was in my 20s & 30s, less so as she has aged, but I can see that one of my DDs and I have segued into that position, where I am her safe sounding board. I appreciate her trust and make the effort to simply provide her with pros & cons so she can make her own informed decisions.</p>
<p>I have noticed being able to talk to my DH more & more as we age and as the kids age and we become empty nesters. He has much more insight about the kids now that they are adults.</p>
<p>'Im a male - I don’t turn to anyone for emotional support.</p>
<p>My H was like this- but he had a best friend and while they didn’t really talk about any thing monumental , I think they both got a lot out of their shared history ( they had known each other since high school) & IMO it was practically a bromance at times.</p>
<p>It was a shock to H( & to me) when his friend died a few years ago ( he had type1 diabetes which was unstable), but if that hadn’t happened, I truly doubt whether H & I would have been able to make the transition together to empty nesters.</p>
<p>My H grounds me the most. I would be devastated without him. I would recover, but it would be hard. Then I have a long time colleague who understands me very well (& I her). I can talk to her about anything. I also have a brother I can turn to. I treasure these relationships.</p>
<p>So…sewhappy, did you list your H (husband) and BF (boyfriend)??? Interesting…</p>
<p>I imagine sewhappy was meaning her BFF not BF ;)</p>
<p>That’s a relief.</p>
<p>Ahhh . . . my secrets out.</p>
<p>sad to realize i am in the me, myself and I camp… i get support from two of my boys…but i limit what i discuss with them…but talking even if on a different subject than what is bothering me, gives me a connection that gives support. H sadly not my support person. Never been one to share concerns or problems with friends, beyond superficially.</p>
<p>^^^ Ditto, here. I know where it stems from in my situation: Whenever I confided something to my mother, she would either tell me what I was doing wrong (Thanks, Mom) or remind me of it six months later, when the problem was long gone. I learned that there’s no advantage to confiding in someone; it’ll only come back and bite you in the @$$. And DH told me a long time ago that he had no interest in hearing about my work. So, I keep most everything to myself, except the superficial stuff. I’ve become very self-reliant.</p>
<p>My 2 best friends and my Aunt. Couldn’t get through life without them.</p>