Who makes the call?

<p>^^I completely agree about the feelings of angst in declining acceptances from great schools, even when you and your child are so sure of the ultimate decision made!</p>

<p>For accepted school, my D hit the “accept” button on the link to the acceptance email. I later emailed the AO a letter telling them of how excited she was, and how much this school had been her first choice. For the waitlist school, she just sent in the postcard that had been enclosed with the letter, checking the box asking to be removed from the waitlist, and noting where she had accepted. I didn’t feel that warranted any more from us. </p>

<p>For the other 2 acceptances, for one she completed the mailing card that had been in the large package sent, declining and saying where she would be attending next year. In retrospect, it would have been better for us to have included a handwritten note, particularly since the acceptance letter was quite personal. My feeling at the time was just that the admissions offices are all so busy that all they care about right now are the cold, hard yield facts, how many available spaces, etc. If I were to redo that one, I would by including a brief note of appreciation. </p>

<p>For the second acceptance, my experience was like ops. It was a difficult call that needed to be made - not only is it the school that I attended, where her older sister currently attends and is an elected leader of the school, but they had also offered her a merit scholarship. Like ops, I told them about how she needed to blaze her own trail, the feeling of “fit”, it was too much her sister’s school in her eyes, etc. They were nice but not happy, and it was inescapably awkward. I made that phone call right away so the merit scholarship could be offered quickly to another candidate.</p>

<p>Saying “yes” is simple. Saying “no” is the tough part. It’s the same with marriage. Saying “I do” is the easy part. It’s the part where you’re saying, “I don’t/won’t” to the rest of the world that trips people up and gives some people pause.</p>

<p>As for who makes the calls, I think it’s fine for the parents to communicate with the schools. Possibly, for the “yes” call, you can have Junior do it…but I don’t think they’re that interested in talking to Junior as there’s work to be done.</p>

<p>For college, that’s totally different. Junior does all of the communicating – with, in my case, the exception of financial aid. If it wasn’t financial aid, it was up to him to schedule interviews, ask for various materials, etc., and, of course, reply to the colleges. Unless he needed me to drive him somewhere, he made the transportation plans, etc. There’s time for that, but I think it’s a hassle and a drag for 8th- and 9th-graders to have to give the replies, particularly the ones where there’s no on-going relationship. Of course if you think it builds character and puts hair on their chest to send cards and notes and such, I have no counter-argument. I’m just saying that I think it’s fine for the parents or guardians to gather up the reply cards or create a quick e-mail and send them on their way and move on with life.</p>