<p>Wondering how other families plan to handle/have handled the “tell one school you’re coming/tell the other schools you’re not” call.</p>
<p>Did you call? Did you speak in person or did you “leave a message”? Did you email? Did the student do it? Did the parent(s) do it? </p>
<p>[Note that I’m not talking about the dry and official contract/deposit part…I’m talking about emotional “Hey Hogwarts AO, I’ve decided to come to your amazing school next year!”/“Um, Mr/Mrs/Ms Hogwarts AO, this is hard for me to say, but I’ve decided to accept a slot at another institution next year.” part.]</p>
<p>They’re swamped with calls - so I’d think an email would be easier for both you and the schools. Say “yes, we accept your offer” if your answer is yes and, if the answer is no, then say “no, thank you, we decline. Our student has decided to attend School X instead.”</p>
<p>It can come from you, although it would certainly be nice if your child followed up with a personal email to his/her interviewer at each school (including the one he/she will be attending) thanking them for their support throughout the process.</p>
<p>And I think it is helpful to tell the schools you’re declining where your student is going instead. It’s just something they like to know.</p>
<p>In your acceptance package, there should be an accept/decline card. We checked off “no” and included a personal, handwritten note to the interviewer.</p>
<p>I assume so that they can keep statistics for future marketing purposes. I am not an AO, so I can’t say for sure, but it’s my understanding that they generally ask that question.</p>
<p>@baystate: Did your family opt out of making any email/phone call to the schools whose offers you were not accepting? Did you not call the AO at the school your child chose to attend to share the exciting news (especially for their yield?!) and simply send back the contract and deposit?</p>
<p>I figure if one attends a revisit (where you might see and chat with your AO or the DOA), etiquette says you should call or at least send an email…even if the news is bad. I may be over thinking this.</p>
<p>Say yes by sending in the contract and the deposit.</p>
<p>We sent brief emails (quickly) saying thanks but no thanks to waitlists. Sent an additional email thank you to a coach.</p>
<p>My husband sent a longer, but not overly long, email to the school we declined, telling them what we, as a family, appreciated about their school and where our son was headed in the fall. Can’t remember if son sent an email or not–I suspect not. We got an email back from the school, responding to speifics in our note, so it felt like the right thing to do. </p>
<p>I think all the schools–acceptances and waitlists–are interested in knowing where your student is going–but, of course, that doesn’t mean you have to tell them…</p>
<p>I called the FA offices at the places that my son declined just to sincerely thank them and to express my hope that the funds would enable another student to attend. Otherwise, it was emails, not calls. They’re busy busy.</p>
<p>SevenDad- no email or phone call, we just sent just a sincere handwritten note thanking them. We did tell them the final destination in the note. We did it right after revisits and before April 10th so that they could quickly give the FA to someone else. Two of the schools we turned down later sent long, detailed questionnaires about our decision making process, and we filled them out and mailed them back with more thanks and appreciation for the offers.</p>
<p>SevenDad- it was such a clear call that we told them at the end of revisit day LOL. Sent in the paperwork the next day. But, we pretty much knew that it was going to be the best choice, revisit day just “sealed the deal.” One of my kids was really bummed that they had to go back to rural public school to finish 8th grade, and would have happily sent us home and stayed there! It sounds like you had a similar happy revisit day ;-)</p>
<p>I don’t know anyone who called the school. Just answer by email/form as they request. They DONT NEED MORE PHONE CALLS! Consider how many kids apply. Do you really think the AO wants to spend 5 to 10 minutes talking to every single one?</p>
<p>We informed the school on revisit day. My d was sure but I wanted to make “mommie” sure. My d told her AO during the day. My d told me to call and cancel our plans to visit Exeter the next day. We spent the next two days just hanging out on campus and being excited, (buying lots of green and white clothes and anything that said DA–lol).</p>
<p>We told them on re-visit day and sent the contract a day or two later.<br>
I then called school with other FA offer to decline (they then called back with additional $ offer) and called the school that had placed my son on FA waitlist to tell them we were accepting other offer and where. </p>
<p>I also called another admissions waitlist school to let them know as well (I had previously had a conversation with this AO and she had asked me to call and then officially send in the card). </p>
<p>Schools like to know where you are going instead of them so they can know who their “competition” is.</p>
<p>Older son informed them personally on revisit day when the paper work was handed in. I then called the other schools with thanks and regrets. Those other schools appreciated the calls and the conversation was brief and cordial.</p>
<p>Second time around it was a little more difficult. I had to call up my older son’s school (and mine) to tell them that his brother wanted to blaze his own trail. They fully understood but it was still hard for me and for his older brother. It came down to fit and I wouldn’t change a thing.</p>
<p>I see that some people did it face to face, some called, some emailed, and some snail mailed (regardless of matriculation status)…so I guess the takeaway is “to each his/her own”.</p>
<p>Thanks to all who shared their POV so far…keep 'em coming!</p>
<p>S was admitted to 3 schools; I called the AO at both schools he wasn’t going to because they had been so positive on him I wanted to make sure they understood how much we had appreciated it. A hand-written note would have been the best, but to be honest, it was so hard to explain why we weren’t going to these two fine schools that I found myself writing in circles, so I gave up and called instead.</p>
<p>Did this thrice by email, in each case directly to the AO who knows our family best. Thrilled to have made the decision and to move on to excitement for the upcoming year, but it was just excruciating to hit the send button on those declines. Like whole possible futures swirling away into what might have been…</p>
<p>@PrepintheSouth: elegant summation. Described perfectly how we felt this admissions cycle, and in two previous cycles with our older children (still one more to go next year!).</p>