<p>I have to go stay alone with my Mom on a couch in her assisted living studio apartment to assess first-hand the degree of her mental decline. Definitely dreading it. Am counting on my brothers for perspective. Good news: THEY (my brothers) are cooking the meal! (go, boys!)</p>
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No need. :D</p>
<p>Sometimes I am amused by the inner workings of my deranged mind, and I felt like sharing. :)</p>
<p>"Since I’m the only female in the house, I do all the shopping, all the cooking, all the clean up and the guys just come plop down at the table, woof it down in record time and then disappear. Makes me feel like all the work is not really worth it. "</p>
<p>Ouch, seriously? I’m raising HUSBANDS at my house. Future husbands who can cook, clean and clean up. Their Dad is cooking the turkey. I plan/shop and then hand a kid a recipe card and the baking dish while I supervise. My future daughters-in-law can thank me later :-).</p>
<p>The only annoying part is a mil and sil who will both say “Oh, this is too much food.” and then “Why’d you cook so much food?” non-stop throughout the day. I’m thinking of sitting out a jar and making them contribute $1 each time they utter anything near that phrase…drives me crazy!</p>
<p>You go, AllThisIsNewToMe! The world needs more husbands like the ones you are raising! :)</p>
<p>We have no guests at our house. Which is not a bad thing considering the current weather conditions here in my neck of the woods. yD is flying home on Thanksgiving morning (labs until 6 pm on Wed :(), I’m sure th enice folks of the TSA will make her flying experience very pleasant. As soon as I heard the big “S” word, I headed out to TJ’s and stocked up on holiday staples, so at least we will have something to feast on even if the big freeze continues.</p>
<p>swimcatsmom & greenwitch: recipes please! (especially the homemade cranberry liqueur - the idea of the “naughty pilgim” is making me giggle.)</p>
<p>PS. I’ve got a good recipe for cranberry pie if you want to PM me.</p>
<p>We will probably ski with the kids on Thursday. But then my mom will come for dinner Friday… with stuffing and pie in the old memorable picnic basket that was once used for church dinners.</p>
<p>Last year I made DD help DH with the turkey (she had become our official assigned cook after leaving college and not finding a job). Maybe this year DD and DS (home from college) can do it together. The other items keep me busy, but not too overworked. </p>
<p>Class - Maybe cooking all day is easier than making conversation with difficult guests?</p>
<p>Not really dreading it except not sure how we’ll fare with mom, who we’re springing from the nursing home for the occasion.</p>
<p>H gets up early and starts the bird, I do the side dishes. Desserts made the day before.</p>
<p>We do Thanksgiving, my SIL does Christmas since she can’t cook (not that we’ve said anything 
)</p>
<p>I probably do more of the cleanup, but am thankful I don’t have to get up early to start things.</p>
<p>I need to get serious about cleaning the house tomorrow. :(</p>
<p>Put me in the love it camp. I like to cook and will once again have more than just H and myself to cook for, plus an excuse to pull out all of the stops with favorite foods.</p>
<p>NO turkey- none of us that fond of it. Usually NO relatives, either. Some years inlaws from OOS have come- then left the next day to spend time in the big city instead of with me the day after I was busy, sigh. My side- different food ideas along with everything else… Son happy for a home cooked meal.</p>
<p>Last year the meal evolved from just us 3 to adding a family of 4 to adding a second family of 4- call days, some partners/people who knew each other. I always include Indian and more traditional foods- vegetarian and nonvegetarian (suits our son’s family background) and warned the last minute family there would be no turkey- better than the on call mom eating at the hospital cafeteria with family while their kitchen was being renovated… Son won a fresh turkey at a morning turkey trot so we added that to the menu.</p>
<p>This year was to be just the 3 of us, but over the weekend we ended up inviting one of the families again, plus another family of 3. My cooking is appreciated, as is the menu. Have done the routine enough times that it is easy. I like the challenge of getting everything done at the same time, although the food is never restaurant hot.</p>
<p>Past years we have often invited stray people and couples so it has become a last minute habit. One year I learned some Muslims only eat chicken properly prepared- and I thought she would enjoy more than the vegetarian Indian fare. Unlike dinner parties the fare is what the host considers part of family tradition, not much thought to planning an exciting, gourmet menu. Quantity and variety, if not quality.</p>
<p>Took the dread out by diffusing parent child interactions with guests and no relatives. Also casual- no perfection required nor good clothes. The hard part at present is needing to wait to get the fresh groceries and prepare things- still too soon to start (I make it as easy as possible, and no turkey to thaw)…</p>
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<p>OP: I admire you for doing the right thing, the thing that is making others happy, even though it is not easy for you. What goes around comes around, and you have good stuff coming around some day. :)</p>
<p>I’m in the “love it” camp too. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays (but we’re a small family, and don’t have a lot of multi-generational drama to deal with). We are also totally casual – I stage Thanksgiving as our “rustic” holiday, so no one dresses up, I don’t use the fancy china or crystal. I love to cook and enjoy the preparations, and wind up cooking enough for an army, even though there will only be four of us on Thursday. This year we also will have the treat of having my stepdaughter and her H here on Friday, which is her birthday, so we’ll actually have a two-day family celebration.</p>
<p>Another dread this year: Our dog was sick the whole week of Thanksgiving last year and died the following Monday. I am missing the sweet little old pup this week.</p>
<p>martina99, we decided this year that it wasn’t a good idea to take my mom, who has advanced dementia, out of the nursing home any more. She is too frail, physically and mentally. She did okay for a few years (not great, just okay), but now it just isn’t going to work. It’s better: She won’t have to struggle and suffer from her disorientation, and we don’t have to worry about her physical and mental safety. I am not sure she’ll even tune in to the fact that it’s Thanksgiving, but we’ll be there for a couple of hours with her. </p>
<p>On sons cooking and helping: our S (college junior) has become a great cook. Yesterday he made the homemade ice cream to put on the pies–something I would never, ever bother with. We’ve done the shopping, and today we’re making the cooking game plan for tomorrow. My H cooks, too, so no one sits around. He and I have been on a major weight reduction program (with great success). We’re making some adjustments this year, but we’re not giving up pastry: pecan pie and apple tart. We’re making them small, with few leftovers.</p>
<p>Going to the SIL’s sister’s hunting cabin. My H’s family is small and mine is too far to get together so we are invited to my SIL’s extended family gathering. It’s usually a hodgepodge of relatives and assorted single people. Some years it’s been visiting ministry (one year a minister from Trinidad, another a man studying to be a priest), single people who have no where to go, assorted cousins of my SIL’s very extended family. </p>
<p>The only problem about the cabin. It’s gun season right now and one year there was a deer hanging from the rafters of the deck of the cabin. The host was very excited, my D still talks about it. (He offered deer tenderloin later in the day lol) The cabin is all right except that you really can’t leave a hunting cabin to take a walk in the woods after dinner.</p>
<p>SIL’s Brother in Law cooks the turkey and most of the food. We might clean up but sometimes he does that too. The good news is that we live close enough now that we are just spending the day. As my H says, we’re getting in and getting out.</p>
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<p>Are you sure that they didn’t do all that on purpose, so they’d never be asked to help again? </p>
<p>I always take Wednesday off of work to cook. It makes Thursday go smoothly. We have church on Thursday morning so I always put the turkey in with the timer. Every year I walk into the house HOPING that I smell turkey…I haven’t messed up the timer yet.</p>
<p>missypie, we once put a chicken in the oven to roast while at a friend’s beach house then went out for a sunset swim. When we got back to the house, smoke was billowing out the windows. The oven temperature had gone berserk and the chicken was in flames. We were able to toss the pan, chicken and all, out on the lawn (leaving a “mysterious” brown spot). I would never again leave the house with the oven on.</p>
<p>Cranberry liqueur:</p>
<p>Take one bag/16 oz fresh cranberries in a pot with 2 cups sugar and 1 cup water and boil 4 - 5 minutes until skins on cranberries “pop”. Cool berries. Put into a large lidded Ball jar with 3 cups of vodka (mine made a little more than this and I put the extra into an empty glass jelly jar). </p>
<p>Leave it out, and allow mix to infuse for at least one week, shaking occasionally. Strain. And strain again and again ( I used gradually smaller strainers and finally cheesecloth). Add 2 more cups superfine sugar (I used just one cup of regular sugar) and shake vigorously until sugar dissolves. Let rest for another week (you can probably speed this up a bit).</p>
<p>Strain once more, leaving any white residue in the jar, and decant into your favorite bottle. Yum. Drink however you like and enjoy!</p>
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<p>OK - that just sounds incredibly delicious. I will make it for Christmas.</p>
<p>Dreading it 
D1 is overseas studying abroad, and D2 is at her dad’s for the weekend. No family in town, and my work means I have to stay in town for the weekend “just in case”. Just me and the dog (who has been a complete pain this week). I am going to my church for dinner on Thursday, but can’t say I am in anything but a “fowl” mood this week… Wish I had the problem of relatives and lot of people to cook for.</p>
<p>Love it here as well. All the kiddos come home (5) and usually their significant others, my sis and her brood, and others. Makes for a full house (little house, lots of people). We all cook, stay up late wednesday, and bake and eat!</p>
<p>Thursday is for turkey, spiral glazed ham and baked ziti and all the sides. Little kitchen so we cram in there and the rest of the crowd gets to go outside and hang chrsitmas lights. Yes, we are the Griswolds. Whole neighborhood shows up when we eventually plug them in!! After everybody is done with the big meal, watch football and then they are start grumbling about being hungry AGAIN, (big sons, defensive lineman!).</p>
<p>So we start with the sandwiches, maybe some turkey pizza or if I am in a good mood, turkey enchiladas…and the eating continues! I sneek out early T-day morning and pick-up anything I missed or more likely already ran out of and anything that is on special on T-day. Usually back before 7am and it all begins. We do shop on Black Friday and when we get back everyone is already waiting for more food and then I TRY to get them to put up the tree…just depends…goes on like this til Sunday when everyone needs to get back.</p>
<p>Makes for good practice for Christmas! Been doing this for 27 years so you’d think I wouldn’t need the practice…</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>Is it a bad idea to get the turkey a few days early? Our grocery store seemed lika mad house. I just went ahead got the turkey yesterday. Now I am worried that it may go bad by Thursday.</p>
<p>LasMa – thank you thank you thank you – may your kind words come true! I feel like by venting my misgivings here, they won’t surface on Thursday. </p>
<p>Colorado_Mom – you’re right – I have a built in excuse (cooking) so I can really limit my interaction with people who are kind of not all that caring and sometimes insulting. But I’m realizing everyone has family like this. </p>
<p>Just had to post this “Thanksgiving blessing”:</p>
<p>May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.<br>
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!<br>
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!</p>