<p>We host almost every holiday. My SIL and her 2 unmarried daughters, both well over 21, and single just sit there and expect to be waited on. They refuse to move a muscle and they are the only guests. Last year my wife got so exasperated she commented on the lack of any help from them. Her sister explained that she herself never liked doing domestic related things and thus trained her daughters likewise. They refuse to help in anyway, preparation OR clean up. </p>
<p>I usually do much of the prep and cooking but this year I’ve told wife to find help in the guest list. I’m watching football! Fireworks are anticipated.</p>
<p>Hm. Don’t like domestic related things? Do they like to eat? Perhaps next year they can pay their share of hired help. Let me guess. They don’t like spending money either.</p>
<p>Count me in the camp of looking forward to T-day, but it’s not really my ideal T-day. Still, it will be fun.</p>
<p>Both kids came home today. Heaven. House was already cleaned for them. Missy (not a real name) is very particular. S couldn’t care less.</p>
<p>Tired of being sad because numbers are so enormously shrunk. We see a movie and eat out with my 86 year old mom who still drives and meets us at the movies. H will pick her up if it rains while I loll around with kiddos. He loves to drive.</p>
<p>This year it’s Harry Potter.</p>
<p>Everything is fun, but the best part is that expectations aren’t raised. No Currier and Ives perfection. Just us. We love movies. Restaurants are good.</p>
<p>No left overs, which is a drag for the others, but good for my diet.</p>
<p>S will bake himself some pumpkin pies tomorrow. He can go through one a day. D will probably make them boxes of Stove Top Stuffing, which for some bizarre reason, they really like.</p>
<p>Although I am a fair cook, my H is a vegetarian. Turkey gives me asthma (too much tryptophan and I am asthmatic), and everyone likes something different.</p>
<p>I learned to share with family through books, TV shows, movies, music and art. Not food.</p>
<p>Count me among the fortunate–both kids home, wonderful extended family, everyone shares in the cooking and cleaning up. I guess it’s natural to love Thanksgiving because I have so much to be thankful for!</p>
<p>For me, Thanksgiving starts with our church’s traditional feast for our ESL students. It’s so moving to hear our pastor share the story of the first thanksgiving with people who are pilgrims themselves, facing many of the same hardships that our ancestors faced–a strange land, scarce resources, even unfamiliar foods. Everyone is teary-eyed by the end of the story.</p>
<p>Then on Thanksgiving Day, we host the big dinner. 34 at our house this year. Last year we had 40! We get out the family china/silver/crystal–we call it the full monty! I totally understand why this might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but we truly love showing our love for each other in this particular way. (D and I were speculating this morning about whether she would ever want the family dishes and such; it made me a little sad to think that many of these traditions will die out with our generation…)</p>
<p>However you celebrate–traditional, minimalist, alt-indie–I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving and, in particular, a lovely day with your kids!</p>
<p>I had a repair lady come over and fix my washer today, and she told me that her most popular repair this time of the year is for Ovens - She said people always seem to do the self cleaning thing right before thanksgiving and that is typically what breaks them (news to me, but I’d believe it… I know that self cleaning makes them ridiculously hot)… so just a heads up to all of you who are cooking… Don’t self clean your oven today if you plan on cooking tomorrow, haha!</p>
<p>Now I have an excuse for not cleaning my oven!! Actually our oven is ancient and the self cleaning thing has not worked since we moved into this house, so I use easy off cleaner on the rare ocassions when I do clean it.</p>
<p>For anyone having potential oven issues - our oven is quite small so last year I invested in one of those counter top roaster cookers. I’ve cooked ham, turkey. and a large rib roast in in and they all came out excellent. It is surprising how much easier it made my life on Christmas and thanksgiving only having to worry about timing side dishes in the main oven while the turkey (thanksgiving) or rib roast (our new Christmas tradition) cook in the counter top roaster. Wish I’d got one years ago!! It was around $22 at walmart.</p>
<p>She said she was on an emergency call last year on thanksgiving eve at like 10 PM for an oven and she didn’t have the parts to repair it… the lady was like “what am I supposed to do? I have to make a turkey tomorrow.” and she said to the lady something along the lines of I don’t know what to tell you… I can’t fix this tonight… " Then she said to me, “I mean no offense if you are going to clean your oven on thanksgiving eve but I don’t think your turkey would mind if you don’t try to clean your oven for it… my tip to you is if you do think your turkey will mind and you are going to clean your oven, do it manually” Lol.</p>
This is what I need to work on. Family has shrunk. This year is first time d. won’t be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas or her birthday (xmas eve). I keep remembering the large family, fun times from my childhood and we just never have seemed to be able to manage those.</p>
<p>Like Packmom, for years I did all the cooking and most of clean up. After my d. reached about 12, she became quite the cook and did a lot of it. Now my oldest son has become a food network addict and adds his skills to the mix.</p>
<p>We are actually going on vacation over Thanksgiving (rare for us) AND we’re going to a restaurant for the big meal (a new experience for us). H is already grumbling that he won’t have any leftovers for later (he loves that leftover-turkey-sandwich thing) but I promised to cook a turkey breast next week just so he can have the extras. Me, I’m looking forward to seeing all of my family together, for the first time in a long time. Warm weather, no kitchen clean-up, and my family - can’t get much better than that! The only bad thing is flying on this crazy travel day…</p>
<p>I know how you feel. My son moves next week to Charleston - about 1400 miles away. Thrilled for his new job and the opportunities and that he is going to such a nice area. But, well, you know …:(</p>
<p>That’s so rude! My kids know their lives aren’t worth living if they don’t spontaneously get up and help with the dishes. Oh, yeah, and me too, LOL.</p>
<p>When I first met H’s family, they put on Thanksgiving dinner (and other holiday dinners) for 35 - 40 people and they had hired help / servers. At the time I thought it was snotty and ridiculous and sneered at it. But now the older I get, the more I totally see it - my MIL still did lots of the cooking, but she could relax and enjoy her guests more when there were other people to be serving the courses and starting on clean-up afterwards.</p>
<p>When I was growing up, my grandmother and great aunt hosted dinners & I was relegated to the basement with the rest of the kids- ( although for smaller dinners I would help with drying dishes). My mother didn’t host anything & when I would go to inlaws- I didn’t know what to do. MIL has two daughters that she is very close to & I would ask what I could do to help- but they would tell me that they didn’t need anything. ( and then complain about me later).
I was afraid of doing the wrong thing or in the wrong order- especially when the space is small. </p>
<p>When I put on something ( admittedly infrequently), I try and be very specific about what and when I need help- I think most people are willing to, but they don’t know what to do.</p>
<p>Aagh–not the biggest problem in the world, but I didn’t need to find out today that someone had stolen by credit card number–card canceled, fraud report, need to reset all the automatic payments, dang! couldn’t they have waited till next week???</p>
<p>Pizzagirl: hired help to clean and do the serving? That’s absolutely brilliant and an idea I am going to steal. That would completely perfect Thanksgiving in my eyes… I love the cooking and the prep–hate the cleanup and the constant up-and-down of serving.</p>
<p>I’m sorry but this made me laugh because my husband, a United States Marine, does all the shopping and cooking for Thanksgiving. Well, really, he does it year round but Thanksgiving is our holiday to host and he is rightfully proud of the feast he cooks up every year. On years when he is deployed I don’t even try it, I just tell someone that I’m coming to their place for Thanksgiving! I think I need to call my MIL and thank her for raising boys who shop, cook and clean!</p>
<p>Packmom, Next year you make the reservations and announce the birth of a new tradition. Cooking for an unappreciative audience is just not worth it. Your time is valuable too.</p>
<p>DonnaL, This is my first Thanksgiving without my son as well. He asked to go to Brooklyn to be with friends from camp and we said “yes.” We’re very happy for him but it’s a little bittersweet for us. Big hugs to you.</p>
<p>Our families live hours from us - we’re the ones who moved away from home. SIL hosts Thanksgiving every year and pretty much OWNS the holiday. No one else takes the initiative to host it and they don’t want to drive to our house. DH and i would do our own thing but our kids LOVE to go to SIL’s house because they love her cooking! I guess i should count my blessings instead…</p>