<p>Summer right after Junior year was the time D took the GRE. That gave her time to take it again if she needed (she didn’t) and focus on her Summer gig and hanging out with friends.</p>
<p>Other help? Paid for half the $ for her apps, and have been a cheer, oops, yell leader, but everything has really been on her…</p>
<p>I wasnt involved at all when D did her Grad school apps,except I helped pay. She researched the schools based on her needs/wants.Her mentors and advisors helped hone in on proper programs,helped with proofreading of the personal statement (of such importance,and so unlike a general college essay I dont think a parent can even know how to help).Writing sample was her senior honors thesis,already written,edited,even defended in front of a committee.She sorted out the transcript issues,since she was on the campus.GRE was taken on time ,on a computer,on her campus.They have an administrative office to take care of these things, she didnt need any other help.
When she finally heard from programs,they helped her make interview arrangements since they were paying for the trips.The only time I helped, was in trying to make a final decison, I did some basic research on living costs in the final two cities she was considering, and H flew to meet her in the final decision city to apartment hunt.</p>
<p>My d still calls me (and I am very thankful for this) to ask my opinion/use me as a sounding board for all sorts of things, so when the time comes for grad school consideration, I expect that will continue. As has been stated before, however, she will have to do the actual applications herself. I will cheer/support/advise if and or when she requests it.</p>
<p>This first year of applying for summer research internships (which she is in the middle of now), howver, is a bit of a different story. She has NEVER done anything like this before as she never expected to fall in love with a scienc-y endeavor. I did help by finding some programs on line which sounded like they would be of interest to her, forwarding the links, and then she took it from there. She also met with the head of her school’s department to get more info on that end…</p>
<p>Well yulsie, it’s just you and me kid (edit: Oops! and churchmusicmom, if she wants in.). LOL. Don’t worry , I’m a lawyer. We don’t feel shame or embarrassment. That nerve is surgically removed in Law School. ;)</p>
<p>Will I help? Uhhhhh, I’ve already started and she’s a freshman. 
My D doesn’t have the advantage of doctors in her family and I’ll be darned if those that do will have a knowledge leg up on her in this process. (And that’s what I have seen happen. She has already missed some high school opps that I just kick myself about. Grrr.)</p>
<p>As much as I can learn, I will learn about admissions, and financial aid and scholarships. I will be ready when she has questions. Right now that means research on course requirements (which are bizarre , scattered, and nonsensical) , application of AP credits (different at every school), application of summer credits if any (ditto), costs (my gosh what a variance between top twenty five schools), programs (MSTP, M.D.with Research Track, M.D.), and instructional model (By Organ System or not). </p>
<p>I make zero decisions for the kid and zero demands on the kid but my goal is to know as much about the ins and outs of the process as any parent advising any kid in America , that is if I don’t run out of time. And if there are professional med school counselors, like college counselors? I’ll see if I can give them a run for their money, too. </p>
<p>I will be her search engine or maybe you’ll like this better, I’ll write a “how to get accepted and afford med school” book and she’ll read it. </p>
<p>She will be the student and applicant. I will gather the data. She will make the decisions of which schools and programs within schools to apply to, fill out the forms, write the essays and personal statements. Worked very well in UG. Why change? I didn’t help her in UG admissions because she couldn’t do a passable or even good job. I wanted her to have the same advantages as rich kids at Andover (or at least one of them) - excellent college counseling. I couldn’t provide it in cash, so I did it myself. It worked out O.K…</p>
<p>LOL. In this instance, I couldn’t care less what the world thinks of me and my “meddling” if that’s what it is and the med schools/grad schools will never see me. The undergrads never did. ;)</p>
<p>Overinvolved?
Pfffffffft. :)</p>
<p>Overinvolved? You say po-tay-to, and I say “Did you know that UT-Southwestern requires a year of stinkin’ Physics? What’s up with that?”</p>
<p>So I can answer the critics sure to follow asking “when will my help end?” , when my kid decides at forty to purchase a new home-have a baby-invest in a condo project , AND if I am still around (yeah, right. LOL.), I’ll still be gathering info and learning about newfangled mortgages that may save her a buck-safest carseats-which lawyer to go to when you get swindled .</p>
<p>And I will still not be telling her what to do. That hasn’t worked for years. </p>
<p>So the answer to “when will my help for my kid end?” is “when I die or shortly thereafter.” ;)</p>
<p>Note : To parents of pre-meds. There are some incredibly bizarre differences in required courses, AP credit, summer credit from CC’s and the like. Some of these , when combined with an UG school with extensive degree requirements and limited electives, or a desire on the student’s part to study abroad AND double major :eek:, create major course selection situations very early on in college. Couple that with the optimum time to take the MCAT’s and courses that are only offered in the spring …she is already bumping up against it</p>
<p>Don’t let your kid sleepwalk themselves into a trap. Suggest they get real active in their Health Professions Association or whatever they have at their school and meet with their pre-med advisors NOW. I am choosing to learn how to advise my kid on top of that . You can make your own choice.</p>
<p>As an example of what I am saying : Look at what marite can already share with her kid (and us, thank God) in Post #16 because of her place in life. I want my D to have that advantage , too and I will educate myself to get there. Well, maybe not all the way there where marite is, but as close as my country legs can get me.;)</p>
<p>this is really helpful Marite- I didn’t know anything about applying to college and I certainly couldn’t help even if I wanted to re grad school, but I will pass your info along to my daughter</p>
<p>My parents didn’t help me with logistics, but they did help me narrow down my list of schools and read my essays.</p>
<p>My parents didn’t read my college or graduate essays nor help me with graduate applications or costs of grad school. I am sure that my mom would have been willing to help with my applications, but I was happy to do the research and applications on my own, including using my work study and other earnings to pay for the GRE and to send the applications. </p>
<p>I felt that my mom had sacrificed a lot to help send me to college (Dad refused to pay toward my college. He was a dentist, but just odd.), so I didn’t ask her for any money, and I paid for my grad school through fellowships, teaching assistanceships, jobs, my savings and with my husband’s help (got married my third year in grad school), which meant I didn’t have to pay for rent . food, utilities. My fellowships, jobs, etc., paid for my books, tuition, etc.)</p>
<p>I suppose that if my parents were helping to pay for grad school, I might have felt obligated to get more help or advice from them, but since they weren’t, I was very happy to independently make those decisions. That gave me a great sense of pride, freedom and independence.</p>
<p>Curm and EK:</p>
<p>Some schools, including LACs, have terrific career offices that hold seminars on grad school applications, writing CVs, doing interviews, etc… Recently, my S got a message about some workshop on writing grant applications. Ask your Ds to keep their eyes open for info on such seminars and workshops.</p>
<p>Curm…YES I do want in! The process you described is almost exactly what I am about…</p>
<p>My daughter has studied dance/musical theater for a long, long time and has already worked in that field professionally. She always knew, though, that she did not want that to be the only “career” goal she had, so she attended a school she knew would stretch and challenge her academically. So now, after years and years of loving English/literature, she finds herself in love with the BRAIN (neuroscience). </p>
<p>This was so far off the radar…and now she finds herself in the applicant pool with kids who have focused upon science throughout their lives…who already have lab experience, etc. No way would I not try to find out all I can to provide all the info possible to help her make the most informed choices she can make (such as applying to summer lab internships, which she is currently about) AND so that she, hopefully, does not miss any critical opportunities.</p>
<p>The neuroscience profs at her school (Barnard) are also very helpful and she has already met with them on her own. I just am trying, as you said, to be prepared to be a fount of information should that be needed. She can then make the most informed decisions possible.</p>
<p>Well, I never got roped to the oars by our S; it was more like getting tossed in the closet. He asked us to read his essay for grad school, and then proceeded to ignore any suggestions we made. Like Curm and Marite, I researched so I could help with any questions he might have, then waited in vain for him to ask some. Sigh. </p>
<p>But seriously, there is a line that each of us must follow, and we must each make our own decisions on where that line is. Sometimes a tough call and sometimes not. But since we tried to raise our kids to be self-sufficient, thoughtful adults, we also want to respect their decisions to come to us for help. If that ever happens . . . .</p>
<p>the world that D found herself focused on for Grad school was so narrow and alien to us parents that my help would have been useless,except for perhaps telling her where the school was physically located.
Perhaps the med school admissions world is a bit broader.Doesnt every college with a pre med program have advising just for that? Or am I being naive that those advisors would be helpful?
D found the faculty members in hermajor dept invaluable.They were the colleauges of those she was looking to study with,they knew the politics and the research areas of the programs she was considering…best of all they had a network!!
This isnt a contest,everyone does whats right for them and their kids in the situation they find themselves in.
Jeez, it seems like everything comes down to a Im right,you’re wrong type thread.</p>
<p>
Yes! My system at it’s finest. LOL. They ask for help, you painstakingly provide it, they ignore it and do whatever the hell they were going to do in the first place. That’s my plan.
And I won’t mind a bit. She didn’t apply where I wanted her to apply to for UG, she didn’t take SAT Subject tests, she wouldn’t “study” for the ACT, she wouldn’t go on the Bulldog Days before rejecting Yale, she… you get the picture. But she did/waived those things knowingly.</p>
<p>
Yep. And my D’s school has a ring tail tooter as the Pre-Med Head Honcho advising dude and D will come to know him well. Very good and very knowledgeable and very accessible, but he’s not going to know a lot about each of the state med school requirements in Texas (they all differ) or our finances. Now he can probably walk you straight into the University of Tennessee or Vandy (and certain others).</p>
<p>Cathymee:
</p>
<p>I absolutely agree!</p>
<p>
Hopefully this one will never get there. I’m pretty sure Yulsie thought it already had.;)</p>
<p>Cur:
(a little off topic, but i’m curious.)</p>
<p>I thought YOU rejected Yale because of the finances! Unless she got financial aid, I thought YOU already set the guidelines. She would have known about the financial aid part along with the acceptance wouldn’t she?</p>
<p>My post will probably be out of place since the opinions are to be parents’ opinions. Of course, so were several thousand of my prior posts!</p>
<p>I happen to believe that parents could play a LARGER role in the selection of graduate schools than their role was for UG. One of the reason is that it involves a … career choice. While UG is something that is often generic (except for a few who exactly know what they want) and where students can change their minds about majors, the choice of graduate school is more irrevocable. </p>
<p>Inasmuch as most schools have wonderful career centers, especially at the higher priced private universities, one should remember that high schools also had counselors. The success of this forum speaks volumes about the wide ranging effectiveness and applicability of the advice available. </p>
<p>Yes, the information is available, but the investment in time and money is considerable. One can go to Barnes and Noble and purchase “Scholarships for Dummies” or one can follow the “Cur’s path” that includes searching, collating, and VERIFYING everything.</p>
<p>For the record, I believe in research and I don’t expect anyone to do it for me. However, there are many things I DO NOT know. How do I look at choices such as law school, business school, and others without having a clue about what those careers mean? My parents --through many friends-- have a much better idea about … jobs. Will the career center talk about how many people switched careers after a few years? How many lawyers are there who never practiced law? What is the value of a Master’s in Philosophy? Will I be able to feed a family with a degree in History? </p>
<p>That is, of course, the big picture! When it comes to the nitty-gritty, I am ecstatic that I can collect all the printed information at my parent’s house where I know it will be stashed neatly in boxes, as opposed to float around a dorm filled with papers. I know, I know … everything is available on the internet. It so happens that the parents do enjoy reading the prehistoric catalogs and look at the pretty pictures. </p>
<p>I won’t really NEED them, but it is sure nice to be able to rely on people who love to remain involved in my life.</p>
<p>1sokkermom, everybody else has to be bored with it so I will respond by p.m. if that’s O.K. I don’t mind informing you but I think several can quote it by memory (and that’s kind of sad.)</p>
<p>AAACCKK!! 1sokkermom, that is if you’ll turn your p.m. on or e-mail me. LOL.</p>