Hi, I’m new to this forum and my first post is about an issue I’m having with my twin 6yr old daughters school teacher here in Scotland.
The twins 16yr old sister pick them up after school but they both nearly always come out of school with their jackets either in their bag or wide open so I asked the teacher to make sure that, if the weather is unpleasant the twins have their jackets on and fully zipped up so that their big sister does not have to spend 5 minutes arguing with them about them needing zipped.
My oldest tells me each night that the school don’t do that as its not their responsibility, so are the school right or is it their responsibility to make sure that kids are bundled up after school?
But as a public school teacher, I will tell you…we tell the kids to put their coats on. Some do it innthe classroom but by the time they get to the parent pick up area, they don’t have those coats on anymore.
In our school, the person picking the kiddo up is required to come inside and sign each day. That person would be the person responsible for zipping the kids up…not their classroom teacher…who is IN the classroom or on duty someplace else in the building.
You can ask a babysitter to help them put their coats on at the end of the day, but teachers aren’t babysitters. Your issue isn’t with the teacher, it’s with your children. The younger 2 don’t listen to your 16-year-old. The teacher can’t help you with that.
Is your 16-year-old driving or are they walking home? If she’s driving, a few minutes walk to the car won’t hurt them. If they’re walking, they’ll put the coats on if they get cold enough.
If the teacher tells the kids to put their coats on, and some of the kids don’t, what can the teacher do?
As a teacher, you can’t and you shouldn’t fight every battle. If I were the teacher, I’d NOT fight that battle.
If the 6 yr old argues with her 16 yr old sister on whether the former should put her coat on, I think there is a good chance that the 6 yr old wouldn’t put the coat on when being told by the teacher.
It’s the parents’ job to teach the kid to take care of herself.
I highly recommend this book (you can find it on Amazon):
The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives
“As parents, we can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they will have to take the wheel and map out their own path. But there is a lot you can do before then to help them tackle the road ahead with resilience and imagination.”
@scottishnicole the best thing you can do is take the lead from the teacher. I learned when my kids were that age that I did WAY too much for them and that the teacher was expecting more responsibility from the kids. What you can do is talk to your kids at home and sit them down with their sister who picks them up and explain that when the weather is cold, they are responsible for zipping up coats and listening to their sister. Since you are in Scotland I assume it is pretty cold and would be important for them to do so
How many kids are in their class? 15? 20? 25? Think about how long it would take for the teacher to make sure that each child is zipped up, has her mittens, etc etc at the end of the day. And by time she gets to the end of the class, how many kids would have decided they were too warm and unzipped their jackets, etc. Is this really how you want them to spend a big chunk of their school day? Trying to get a class full of 6 year olds zipped up? Because if it’s the teacher’s responsibility for your girls, it’s the teacher’s responsibility for the whole class.
Their big sister can spend the five minutes. Or just say “let’s go.” When they get cold enough they’ll put their jackets on or zip them up.
I used to teach 1st grade. We told students to put their coats on but there was nothing we could to do force them to zip. Heck, there wasn’t even much we could do to make them put their coats on- especially at the end of the day.
Sit down with each twin separately, and let them know that YOU expect each of them to put their coats on, and zip them up.
This is a rule you have, and you don’t want it broken.
Next, make a weekly success chart, where they get to put a sticker on each day when they get home from school.
Have rewards for something fun for the end of each week, so it's fun for them. Kids this age, don't want to always follow the rules, but love rewards. Just reinforce the positive and ignore the negative. Don't expect your 16 year old or their teacher to do this, it's the little ones responsibility to get their coats on, and they can do it!
Ha - a little levity to my day. It’s going to be a long haul if you take every little issue like this to a teacher. Teach your kids to do their own bundling up. Give them consequences if they’re not on if that’s a big deal to you. Honestly, I just let my kids have natural consequences for this stuff. Let them be cold. They’ll figure it out.
