<p>I’m a little late but as a black girl I definitely had to put out more to get the guy that I want. At my school alot of the black guys date other race girls because they know they’re a hot commodity among them. I’m the only black girl in my whole school who’s currently in a steady relationship (3 years and counting whoo!) with a Taiwanese guy who now goes to Brown. </p>
<p>And that took work. I’m not really the type of girl to chase guys but it took me several months to catch his interest even though we were friends. I asked him in retrospect why it took him so long to notice my affection towards him (which was often more on the blatant side). He said that he just never considered that he could date a black girl since he’d never seen that type of relationship but once he realized how compatible we were jumped on the opportunity (indeed, his sudden change of heart surprised even me). Also, there is the very real situation that Asian parents tend to want their children with either another Asian from x culture, any Asian in general, or if they make allowances for other races, white people. In fact, that’s an issue that me and my boyfriend are currently facing because his mother doesn’t want him dating me. : ( We’re holding out until he graduates in a couple years and will have more independence.</p>
<p>For me, I realized that black guys with my level of success (and willing to date me) were far in between so I took hold of the reigns just like with my education and did the same with dating/my romantic future. I’m not saying that all black women should interracially date to fix that problem but at the same time I feel that alot of black women don’t consider it enough as an option.</p>
<p>Don’t worry Nil. I’m not good a good guy chaser either. lol. Mainly because I like girls. Just worry about yourself. You aren’t defined by having a relationship with someone. Do your own thing and you’ll be fine :)</p>
<p>@Kalamari: Taiwanese guy? At <em>Brown</em>??? Dating a black girl!!! Hallelujah, I may have a chance yet! Don’t be surprised if I try to yank him out from under you… Lol. ;)</p>
<p>Seriously though, I think we don’t interracial dating as much as we should because it is much less of an option. I think that I am like many black women in the fact hat I like certain things to be the “male’s job” and the fact that I have to be more agressive with males of other races sort of ruins that. I also don’t want to feel like I have to work harder purely because of my color in this arena when I <em>already</em> have to do that in education/work. But I do think some women also want to “preserve the black family,” if you will.</p>
<p>@the.pfenix: Hahah, yah he’s a sophomore there now. (I won’t tell you his name because you might try and steal him, lol) XD I attribute it partially to luck to be honest. I was nowhere as self-sure at the time, like I sounded in my previous post, trust me! (I’m a senior at boarding school now. It might have helped that we were around each other almost 24-7 so race became less of an issue?)</p>
<p>No, I definitely understand you. I’m not sure if I really think that I’m “aggressive” when it comes to guys, I’m just not afraid to subtly flirt if I think the guy is cute or feel I have a chance. o__o; It seems to work since I’ve seen more interest from guys (particularly non-black) ones over the years. And even though that interest may not be as much as “x” race girls, in the end you only need to find one good guy (at a time, hopefully?). In fact, even though it makes the road tougher, I try to stay positive in the fact that my blackness might be more of a barrier for ****** bags approaching me. XD Just my take, I know your experience might be totally different.</p>
<p>I don’t know if I am an aggressive person. But I will say this, I am EXTREMELY sentimental now whether it is because I am a gemini or INFJ personality or whatever lol, it is just the way it is. I spend a lot of time in abstract thinking and sometimes when I talk to guys, the way I speak makes it seem like my head is in the clouds or idk lol. I am not even going to lie, all this Tiger Woods hysteria makes me think that not many people value marriage as much. Even though he is just one man, still…</p>
<p>Okay, so I have read this whole thread and I find it quite interesting. I am a black female and I have personally experienced “going for the Bad Boy instead of the Nice Guy.” I now realize that he was a mistake and a waste of my time. I want a meaningful relationship…someone I can have an intellectual conversation with. That was something that was definitely lacking. </p>
<p>Personally, I like smart guys. I believe guys that are dedicated and have ambition is attractive. If I have high aspirations, so should whoever I am dating.</p>
<p>OMG - I had no idea this thread existed on these boards. I’ll have some great discussions to read while not paying attention in class.</p>
<p>I just watched the video though. They picked the finest black women in America. I mean what guy wouldn’t go for the attorney/atlanta falcons girl?! But the chemist chick was being unrealistic. Hell, 6’5"? she wants an NBA player. I’m a chemical engineer but she wouldn’t date me cause I’m a few inches too short.</p>
<p>I agree with what Millancad said about black men realizing what a commodity we are. I am a black male majoring in engineering and will be graduating soon. I realize that unfortunately my fellow black men are not performing well at any level of education. </p>
<p>Anyway, I love all races of women. I enjoying joking about how I will marry a white woman with my sister and cousin. They both do not want that to happen, lol. I wouldn’t mind dating other races, but at the end of the day, I want to marry a black woman. Besides, the non black women that I do find attractive have pseudo-black women qualities (aka nice curves). Also, black women remain beautiful forever, whereas other women get old and wrinkly, haha. Furthermore, when I make a black/white joke I don’t need my girl to be standing there with a black face. </p>
<p>Often times men say that black women have too much attitude, blah blah and that white women are more submissive or whatever. Even though a black woman’s ambition and strong will can be confused with attitude and stubbornness to a guy with no game, it has been my experience through my own relationships, my sister’s interactions with her boyfriend, and my mom’s interactions with my dad that black women are willing, ready, and maybe even enjoy catering to their men. They aren’t just about to be walked over. Only weak men want a “100% bark at your command” women.</p>
<p>@uaprophet: I never really thought of myself as a commodity. But that could have a truth behind it, because my mom’s friends think I’m some sort of hero because I get good grades and stay out of trouble. Just out of curiosity though, when do you think you really <em>became</em> a commodity? Possibly freshman year of college? That would be my guess.</p>
<p>“This blog was created, but please understand that it is not a hate site. This site is just admiring white women the same way Jet Magazine honors black women or a car magazine highlights cars.”</p>
<p>Last time I checked, women were not a manufactured product one can buy.</p>
<p>I was rereading my favorite quotes from The Awakening today, so I’m full of feminist rage :D.</p>