<p>Hi, I am 18 and I am a freshman in college and I’ve never had a boyfriend in my life.</p>
<p>I am not fat (5.2ft 108lbs) and I am pretty satifisfied with how I look. </p>
<p>I’ve been on several dates before and a few guys have asked me out before but I declined because I wasn’t interested in them a bit.</p>
<p>It will be really nice to have a guy that I like and who likes me back as my boyfriend but it’s not a BOYFRIEND that I want. </p>
<p>I’ve just never been liked by the person I really liked and now I am afraid that maybe guys that I like will never like me back in the future and I will eventually just end up going out with a person who I don’t even like that much just because I can’t get the guy I want and force myself to like him and maybe my marriage will be like that too.</p>
<p>I don’t need to have a boyfriend but I just want for once that the guy I like will like me back just so that I know, that I can be liked by somebody I like too. I just want that assurance. Just want to know that I deserve to be liked by somebody I like. Or do I deserve to go out with somebody I like?? Are there certain girls who deserve it and who don’t? </p>
<p>I am so sad… and so depressed that no guy that I ever like will like me back…</p>
<p>I’m guessing that you’re putting off an incredibly needy vibe, to the point of seeming codependent. You say yourself that you don’t want a guy to be your boyfriend but just to like you back the way a boyfriend would. Why does it matter if he likes you back or not if he’s not gonna be your boyfriend?</p>
<p>The way you are perceived (how OTHER people think you look) may be out of line with your self perception (how YOU think you look) and your corresponding standards (for the guys that you “like”). </p>
<p>Note that this can go both ways. Aside from the obvious case, you could be blindingly attractive but don’t know it, and are thus attracted to average guys who are intimidated.</p>
<p>Guys like to be the hunter, not the hunted.
You refuse to go out with guys unless you like them first?
You are missing out on a possible bf or at least a friend.
You should be depressed because you do not have a clue.</p>
<p>ok thats not what I meant. What I meant was that I don’t want to have a boyfriend because of the title…you know what I mean? Like many girls go out with guys just because they want something called boyfriend…and they can tell others about them…
Of course i want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend more than anything right now but I want go out with somebody that I actually like…Not just with any guy who likes me when I have this guy that I already like…who doesnt like me back…as always…
Is this just the matter of timing? Will I eventually find someone who I like and who will like me back or do I have issues and I won’t meet any guy who I like and who will like me back unless I fix those issues?</p>
<p>Much like the advice given for guys, you should not make finding a boyfriend such a big priority. Focus on the other things that enrich your life, and you’ll naturally meet someone and things will just… work.</p>
<p>Honey, you are only 18 so CALM DOWN! You will find a bf when the time is right. As for right now, do other stuff that you enjoy and stop thinking too hard about it.</p>
<p>I think the best bfs come along when you least expect it.</p>
<p>Don’t worry - you will meet someone eventually. I remember being 17 and wondering what was wrong with me, and why I never seemed to like the right person. Eventually, though, I did find someone, and although it didn’t work out, I learned a lot.</p>
<p>College is a place where you will meet many new people and can even reinvent who you are yourself. You’ll meet guys, don’t worry; you’ll find new people that you like. But I wouldn’t pin all of your hopes on one person. If people ask you out, give them a chance - you might really be surprised. I know someone who had turned down the same guy a few times, and finally agreed to go out with him as more of a “pity date” (as she put it). They’ve now been dating for nearly 3 years! You never know what’ll happen as long as you have an open mind. :)</p>
<p>I was thinking maybe it’s the way you’re reacting to guys that you like vs. that the guys you don’t like. You could possibly be coming off as over the top and needy as DC pointed out. </p>
<p>And if you don’t want the guy that you don’t like then do like I do and don’t answer his txt or calls. It irritates the hell out of em. Just make sure you’re not screwing with a psycho…</p>
<p>No, seriously. I used to have that problem for real, and then I realized the reason I was never interested in any guys who were interested in me was because I didn’t actually want to date guys. I liked guys who I had no chance with because I thought I should. And I kept meeting all these really awesome girls who I thought about all the time, and when I just thought I really admired them, I was actually attracted to them.</p>
<p>And then I realized I was gay. So…I don’t know. Make sure that’s not the case, I guess, is all I’m saying.</p>
<p>You’re in love with the unrealistic notion of love. You love guys who do not love you back, yet guys love you whom you cannot love back.</p>
<p>Truthfully, the point of college isn’t to get a perfect boyfriend in an imperfect world. It’s to graduate and get a job. Getting a boyfriend is just ancillary material.</p>
<p>Put yourself in the shoes of those you’ve rejected and experience their depression of how life sucks when the people you like never like you back - oh wait, you already have.</p>
<p>I don’t intend to sound mean, but you still have your life ahead of you. Don’t squander your time on such a trivial thing as perfect love.</p>
<p>You are being selfish to think the boys who have asked you out are not worth your time. In order for you to make any judgement, you have to give people a chance. Are you rejecting them on their looks, clothes, or what other girls think of them?</p>
<p>People can be awkward, inexperienced, unsure at your age. You have to spend enough time so everyone is comfortable enough to let their personalities shine through.</p>
<p>Do you have a fantasy of Mr. Right from some TV show or movie? Well, let that image dissolve and learn to value the kind souls all around you. Try being warm, witty and fun. Those boys you are rejecting are still maturing, as you are. </p>
<p>There is no Perfect Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) in the real world, there are just humans with unique strengths and weaknesses, longing for companionship and fun. Relationships can only develop if both parties are ready to make the Other Person happy, not just themselves.</p>