<p>On thiis forum, people always seem to refer to sorority women as rich, drunk, slutty, partiers who have no diversity, no quirkiness, no academic ambition, and no genuine kindness. I’m a member of an NPC sorority, and my experience in my sorority has been completely different. No one in my sorority is what I would consider stereotypically “rich”–in fact, a few members are putting themselves through school by working, and until I got a job this year, I was pretty much the only sister who did not work. I don’t drink and rarely party. Some of my sisters drink more than others, but I’ve never felt excluded because I don’t, and honestly, I think anyone who joined our house because that’s what they wanted out of college a) probably wouldn’t get in and b) wouldn’t be happy here, Strictly ancedotely, it seems like Greek women tend to drink less than non-Greeks. I go to school in state that’s VASTLY (maybe 95%? Or more) Caucasian, but we still have a few members of different races, one member with a physical disability, members from a variety of poolitical and religious backgrounds, and a huge range of hobbies, interests, and outside activities. I have more than a few friends in the house that I would consider “quirky,” and many of our members go on to graduate or professional school. While I can’t say that everyone gets along with everyone all the time (… when would that EVER happen?), I can say that the genuine kindness of the Greek women is one of the reasons I decided to go through informal recruitment. </p>
<p>So why are Greeks treated with such distain on CC?</p>
<p>I have never seen anyone on the parents forum refer to sorority women as “rich, drunk, slutty, partiers who have no diversity, no quirkiness, no academic ambition, and no genuine kindness.”</p>
<p>There are equally kind, nice, good people who have nothing to do with the social clubs you associate with. Many of us do not see the need to formally isolate oneself from the rest of the campus socially by spending one’s time with a select group of students. Being a memeber of a social club does not preclude being smart or other positive qualities; but it does preclude having time to spend with those you meet in classes et al who are not in the clubs. Most students do not have a need for a formally dictated social life or to live with a formal group of like minded individuals. Having a permanent group of friends can be reassuring, but having the freedom to choose your associates and activities without the obligations of a sorority appeals to many. The negative feelings you perceive probably relate to the exclusiveness of your club- one has to be a member to live and socialize there. No room for outsiders. Setting yourselves apart from the the “riffraff”. Being “in” or “out”, us and them…</p>
<p>Most, if not all, disdainful CC posters are not Greeks, and therefore their view of Greek life is not from personal experience. I cannot recall having read a negative post about Greek life on this board written by a Greek, although it might have happened.</p>
<p>Fraternities and sororities vary greatly, and if you have found a house where you feel comfortable, that’s wonderful. </p>
<p>At some campuses, though, the reputation of Greek houses is tainted by a high frequency of hazing, excessive use of alcohol, and a reputation for a frivolous, hard-partying attitude that includes treating women as sex objects rather than fellow students. </p>
<p>Even on those campuses, that negative picture doesn’t apply to every house and certainly not to every member.</p>
<p>One criticism that seems to apply to a lot of Greek houses – including the ones that don’t fit the negative stereotype – is that membership requires a great deal of a student’s time. For some students, this can lead to lower grades or to decreased involvement in other activities that might be more important to the student’s future (such as working to help pay their college expenses or participating in extracurricular activities that would enhance career opportunities).</p>
<p>There are also students who don’t join a fraternity or sorority simply because the basic concept – living as brothers or sisters with a large group of people of the same sex – doesn’t appeal to them. In some cases, they’re simply not that social. In other instances, they may prefer to live in a co-ed environment. People like this tend not to join Greek houses because the Greek system is a poor fit for them as individuals.</p>
<p>Wis75, as someone who was active in Greek life at NU, I take strong issue with these statements: (emphasis is mine)</p>
<p>“Many of us do not see the need to **formally isolate oneself from the rest of the campus socially ** by spending one’s time with a select group of students. Being a memeber of a social club does not preclude being smart or other positive qualities; **but it does preclude having time to spend with those you meet in classes et al ** who are not in the clubs. Most students do not have a need for a formally dictated social life or to live with a formal group of like minded individuals. Having a permanent group of friends can be reassuring, but having the freedom to choose your associates and activities without the obligations of a sorority appeals to many. The negative feelings you perceive probably relate to the exclusiveness of your club- one has to be a member to live and socialize there. No room for outsiders. ** Setting yourselves apart from the the “riffraff”. ** Being “in” or “out”, us and them…”</p>
<p>This may be true in some places, but it absolutely was not true in my Greek experience. You were no more “isolated socially from the rest of the campus” as if you had joined the tennis team. You could absolutely socialize with whoever you wanted, your house or another house, Greek or non-Greek, be friendly with people you met in classes or other activities. No one cared, no one kept tabs, no one raised eyebrows and said, “Dahling, you’re talking to a Chi-O? Better watch it!” And I assure you that no one thought that people who weren’t Greek were “riffraff.” They just weren’t in a house, that’s all. I think you’re working under some kind of stereotype and while I don’t doubt that in some superficial places it works like that, I can absolutely tell you that the NU experience was and is nothing like that. The idea of being isolated just to the people in your house for socialization is laughable because it’s so not true. It so happened I was closest to the girls in my house, but I certainly didn’t need “permission” from anyone to socialize with whoever the heck I wanted to, assuming I attended chapter meetings and participated in rush. I urge you to rethink your Kappas-don’t-talk-to-Chi-O’s-and-none-of-them-speak-to-the-riffraff-in-class stereotype.</p>
<p>Well, I’ve participated in some of the “greek” threads - and I will agree that there are a number of CCers who are anti-Greek. I don’t think I’ve seen the specific language referenced by the OP - but there certainly are negative comments.
I think it’s human nature to put people in “boxes.” Greek is just another box. And that box, for non-greeks includes visions of drinking, as well as elitist, exclusionary, and sexist behavior. The media doesn’t help - Animal House is burned into people’s heads.
Is this criticism unfair? I’d say yes. I’m not denying that greeks have some issues. Survey show higher rates of drinking for example. But I just don’t see how this can be boiled down a good and evil equation. It’s just not that simple.
Personally, being greek was not right for me. But I can see that it can work for others. The greeks I knew were not any different from most of the students on campus. Some were jerks. Some were cool. Some were drunkards. Others were pretty industrious. My brother was the president of a frat - and I think he’s pretty cool.
So, I prefer to keep an open mind. As a parent of a Greek at this point, I do have my concerns and I watch for red flags.If I had a choice, I would prefer he didn’t go this route…but it’s not my choice. I don’t pretend that my son is in a Mother Theresa kind of group. I know there are potential problems. But I also see some good - he’s getting leadership experience, spends LOTS of time on community efforts, has a nice group of friends, and he’s happy. GPA has been great too…with tough courses.
Bottom line, I think the cure for most of the “anti-greek” parents on this board is to have a son or daughter become a greek. A number of my neighbors are in that category, and I must say that there positions have softened as a result. From, “my s or d would NEVER be interested in such nonsense”…to “well, I guess we’ll see how this works out”. Hey -let’s face it- rejecting greeks when your offspring is greek doesn’t promote good parent-son/daughter relationships.</p>
<p>Whether you belong to Greek life or not, most people only socialize with their group of friends. People do operate in their comfort zone and socialize with their circle of friends. My daughter would have been with friends with same group people, even if there was no sorority.</p>
<p>Many people may not want to admit it - it takes a lot of self confidence or inner strength to join Greek life. Many people like to think students that choose not to join are strong and unique, they have the strength to be different. The truth of matter is it is scary to throw your name in the hat to be judged and wonder if you’ll be picked. My daughter had that fear before she went through the rush. She wondered if she should just not do it because she was afraid she wouldn’t get into the ones she wanted and it would be embarrassing if that should happen. Yes, it takes just as much inner strength to say no when all your friends are doing it, but it also takes just as much to put yourself out there when there is a possibility of rejection. It is also that kind of rejection that hits people in their most vulnerable area. It think it is no wonder why most of this country’s political and business leaders are part of Greek life.</p>
<p>As someone who was not a Greek and had no desire to be a Greek, yes, I’ve noticed the disdain too, and find it highly irritating.</p>
<p>People have prejudices. Some people went to schools with a particularly bad Greek scene or had bad experiences with a particular Greek house or Greek individual(s), so they become prejudiced. They figure that’s how Greek scenes/houses/individuals are in general.</p>
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<p>Seriously, what? This, and most of the rest of this comment, is the sort of prejudice that I am talking about. I never felt unwelcome at a Greek house/among Greeks because I wasn’t a member.</p>
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<p>Then why don’t we have more threads critical of sports, student clubs, ROTC, and having committed romantic relationships in college? People in Greek houses are getting something out of it, just as people doing any of the other activities I mentioned are.</p>
<p>I don’t hate Greeks, but I do beware of them, especially if they are bearing gifts. I was actually talking to a friend last night who is Greek, and he was asking whether Greeks are a minority for purposes of college admissions. I told him that Greeks are indeed a minority, but I wasn’t sure if anybody actually wants more of them. He laughed.</p>
<p>But I take it that you are talking about a different kind of Greeks. There are pros and cons of Greek life in general, and of particular fraternities and sororities. There are people who, for good reasons, do not want a college where the social scene is dominated by Greeks. Other people do. I agree that the issue should be discussed sensibly without namecalling on either side.</p>
<p>I don’t dislike Greek societies as such. I’ve just never had much use for ANY organization whose main purpose (in some cases <em>sole</em> purpose) is to decide who can join the organization. This includes, many Greeks, some professional or academic honor societies, some high school clubs, Mensa, Final clubs, most secret societies such as Skull and Bones, etc. The whole lot of 'em.</p>
<p>A few of them try to paper over their uselessness and devotion to exclusion by promoting their partying as useful social networking and holding the occasional public service event, but their basic reason for existence is still to divide the world into The Ins and The Outs. Totally pointless.</p>
<p>I think most CCers believe in academic meritocracy, and it’s a little galling to think that that being “the best and brightest” counts for zilch when it comes to choosing brothers and sisters.</p>
<p>No personal offense intended to these posters, but these statements are excellent examples of judgmental conclusions being drawn about Greek life, as a result of ignorance.</p>
<p>Fraternities and sororities exist to foster friendship, fellowship, community service and in most cases, to provide a place to live. With respect to NPC sororities, GPA and extracurricular activities do factor into the mutual selection process.</p>
<p>Not all fraternities and sororities are the same.</p>
<p>If I never told you that the group I’m part of was a fraternity, you would probably believe me, you would probably think it’s some nerdy SLG which uses Greek letters in its name to be ironic.</p>
<p>However, I can see why people dislike a lot of Greeks.
Many, on campus, are horribly superficial.
Many are very loud, and if they live on campus, and are disruptive to those near them.</p>
<p>I can see why people aren’t exactly loving of Greek life.</p>
<p>I do sense a bit of anti greek bias on CC - but then again there is also anti Republican, anti democrat and (referring to post #11) - an anti athletics bias on CC. For every group, there is a group of people who are not a part of that group. Forums as large as this one are going to have people who don’t like other things and who voice those strong opinions. </p>
<p>Personally, being Greek is part of the college experience for some people - just not for me. If my kids want to join that kind of organization, good for them. If they don’t, good for them as well. </p>
<p>I actually sense a much stronger anti Athletics bias here - but perhaps I am overly aware as a function of my son being involved in college athletics and my being a lifelong supporter of college athletics. Two recent threads on college athletic scholarships (why should they exist) as well as the ones on the Florida State football player flying to his game after interviewing for the Rhodes scholarship would be examples of this.</p>
<p>It’s my observation that Greek life can be very different at different schools in different houses in different regions.</p>
<p>I knew a bunch of frat members at MIT well, and they were just nice regular guys. When brothers came visiting from USC in the summer, they were the total fratboy stereotype. (This is the 70s, BTW.)</p>
<p>Plenty of novels have documented the old, rigid model of Greek life, where you weren’t “allowed” to date outside of certain specific houses, much less date a non-Greek. Try Keith Malliard’s Gloria, for example.</p>
<p>People seem to report that Greek life at Southern schools is much more like the image that many of us have of it from the old days.</p>