I go to a community college. Whenever I talk to random strangers at school, they walk away from me when I want to talk to them. I never have the chance to get to know them because they just walk away from me. For example today, I sat next to 2 people at the library for my break and I couldn’t even talk to them today because they left right away after I sat next to them. Why would they walk away from me when I want to meet new people and have a conversation?
Maybe they don’t have time right then to sit around and chat.
Join some clubs at your community college. It will be a better venue for meeting people, since the whole purpose is to be social.
If you are trying too hard to talk with people, you may be coming on too strong. Just smile at people and say hello. If someone wants to have a conversation, let them take the lead.
Also, don’t start conversations in the library. Many people are trying to study and need the quiet to concentrate.
Most people don’t want random strangers to come up to talk to them, especially when they’re in the library trying to study. Join clubs and other extracurriculars, or try to talk to people in your class - set up study sessions or work on projects together. Just because you want to talk and meet people doesn’t mean they do.
Do you shower everyday?
When I’m in the library, I know I’m not trying to talk to anyone; that’s where I go to study in peace. Try joining something, extracurriculars are inherently social activities
Getting people to talk to you will depend on your approach. Do you speak softly or make eye contact infrequently? Maybe they can’t hear you, or they can’t tell if you want to interact with them or not. You can’t expect people to strike up a conversation with you if they don’t know your intentions.
I agree that the library is definitely not a good place to try to socialize with people as folks in there are usually busy and probably assume that you too are busy, and will not try not to bother you. You’ll have more luck at the dining hall or one of the school social events they usually have.
There’s a number of factors why they’d leave–maybe they suddenly had to go to class, maybe they wanted to go somewhere else at that moment, maybe there was something about you that set them off (a lot of people are unaware of their own body odor–not accusing you of having bad body odor, but I’ve been in situations where I’d move from my spot just because someone with a really strong body odor decided to sit near me), etc. You shouldn’t think it’s about you.
I agree…to meet people, try to talk to people with whom you already have something in common…someone in your class, someone in your club. Also go to the counseling center and ask them for ideas.
When I took classes at a community college during summers, I never tried to make friends with anyone there. I assume that I would never see anyone that I meet after the class ends (unlike at a university) so I don’t bother getting to know people. Unless they’re really attractive or something.
I can’t say about those people in library, it would only be guessing. But if this helps, this is a small list of reasons why I would get up and leave a library table if someone is talking to me:
- I need to finish homework bad, I procrastinate a lot. If I am in the library, I really need every single minute and then some. I’ve been known to finish essay papers that I had a month to work on, in two hours.
- I need to catch the bus, and get to work, otherwise I"ll miss it and take the next one, making me late and endangering my much needed job. ( A lot of CC students work)
- Body odor. I’ve meet several seemingly nice people, that stink to high heaven. They either don’t bathe every day or they don’t wash their clothes often enough. I would never tell anyone they stink either, never.
- They don’t smell bad, but they are wearing so much cologne or perfume that it makes me eyes water.(It’s happened once or twice) A little is great, but too much is overbearing.
- The person is the opposite gender, and I mistake the friendliness for a pick up. I’m married, and crazy in love already. I don’t want to lead anyone on.
- The person looks scary/dangerous. Well, maybe. I got a thing for dangerous looking men, It depends.
Are you located in a big city? I lived all over the world and in certain areas you try to talk to a stranger, they give you this look: o_O, like you’re nuts. I now live in the south, and most people are very friendly and will make small talk to strangers with ease.
Don’t give up, keep trying to make friends, and eventually you will find some. Just don’t do it in the library.