Why are you interest in somebody who smokes? That’s a no no in my book and I don’t care how cute or smart they are.
It sounds like they figure you are not going to like doing what they are doing so that’s why they don’t invite you. Are you a studious type who has a smart reputation?
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They both smoke about a pack a day and get drunk basically everyday, so I am not really sure about felling unsafe.
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And you’re interested in this girl why???
You are ignoring everyone’s advice so I"m not sure why you posted at all. Let it go and move on. Don’t ask the friend. Take what she said on face value and assume she is not interested in starting a relationship.
Thanks everyone! Today a (guy) friend and I were studying in the library. And she joined us and sat so close to me. She moved her chair close to mine. It really confuses me as to what she is trying to do? She was wearing a dress where her bra could be clearly seen, and kept on looking at me. In fact, she was turning her head and looking at me so much that I asked if she was expecting someone. I wonder what this could mean? I am going to ignore and find someone else!
She’s playing with you, man. Find someone who’s willing to seriously talk about a relationship if that’s what you’re after. Unless you’re looking for a drunken 1-night stand.
Find another place to study. Don’t sit so close to her. Tell her you can’t stand smokers breath. It’s your turn to play hard to get. 
Is this thread real?
@turtle0099 Have you ever dated before? Do you have any experience with girls (I don’t mean sexually, I mean socializing with them)? Are you new to this country?
Anyway, she doesn’t sound worth the trouble…smoking, drinking excessively, game-playing. Who needs any of that.
Exactly! She’s playing a game. Move on. You don’t want to ruin your grades because you’re dealing with a loser.
If she tries again (and she will), tell her that you don’t like her games (sitting close and revealing herself in an unladylike manner) and tell her “I’m not interested in you.”
Really? Thank you all for letting me know! She seems so nice, though. I have a condition called Aspergers (Mild though) so that must be why I cannot read the signs closely. Thank you everyone!
@turtle0099 Good luck! I thought it was rather inventive to ask the parents’ group what they thought of the situation - if a little unusual. Mild Aspergers clarifies it. It’s can be tricky to read romantic interest level even without being on the spectrum. Do you have support for the Aspergers?
Give her the cold shoulder and you’ll become a magnet.
Well, one thing you could do would be ask if you could speak to her privately for a moment, then tell her you have mild Asperger’s, have difficulty reading social cues sometimes, you like her, but you are having a hard time figuring out whether she is willing to date you or just wants a casual friendship. Tell her no harm, no foul either way, and you will understand and abide by what she says. If you manage to ask her in a pleasant manner, she might just tell you the truth, and you can go forward as friends or whatever…
Or she might just go and tell all of her gal pals what you said, which could be humiliating. On the other hand, it would certainly let you know what kind of person you are dealing with.
I wonder if anyone who is the parent of a kid with this issue knows whether it has been tried?
I suspect you’re misreading her signals. Women are allowed to talk pleasantly to men, sit next to them, and dress attractively, and should be able to do so without being labelled a tease. Whether or not she drinks, and how often, isn’t any of your business. I’m not sure how you would even know how much she drinks, or when, if you only see her in class and occasionally in the library. To accuse her of getting “drunk everyday” and make the leap (even if it were true) that she doesn’t care about her safety is unsettling.
There was a time in our history when women who had a drink or two and dressed attractively were understood to have given up their right to refuse men’s advances. I find it disturbing that adults on this thread are telling this young man that this woman is a tease and playing games. You have no idea what kind of situation you may be placing her in.
OP, you asked this woman out and got your answer. It was no. It was a nice no, but it was a no. You can choose to try to develop friendships with your classmates, maybe ask a couple of the guys if they want to do “something” over the weekend and if they say yes ask what they’re interested in doing, but I wouldn’t pursue a relationship with this woman. Work on developing friendships first and let your relationships develop from there.
When I went to study in Canada as an international student they sent me a government pamphlet of “advice” about social norms.
One was “When traveling by bus or train, you may engage a member of the opposite sex in casual conversation. This should not be taken as a sign of sustained interest on either side”.
Be careful in interpreting smoking and drinking as meaning girls are not careful about who they want to be alone with, date, or have as a sexual partner. This girl doesn’t sound like a good match for you. She’s nice to you, but she doesn’t want to date you. That will happen a lot in life. Be nice back. Do not get angry at her or her friend, you were rejected in a very gentle fashion, please be respectful.
OP did say the girl turned around and looked at him multiple times. Maybe he misinterpreted the signals, but we give advice base in his perception.
Thanks everyone! Some very helpful posts.
Why do you think I should not make friends with her? Today we had a test, just yesterday she texted me and asked if she could join me to study. I was alone in a library room upstairs, and she never studies upstairs (she told me and told me also that she gets drunk everyday). But she joined me anyways, invited herself.
I also missed class and she got the handout for me and let me look at her notes, so I really don’t she she dislikes me or feels awkward around me. She also signed my name for attendance. She also invites me to join her when she smokes (once every hour or so).
We are taking a tough class, so our group spend several hours studying a week (20-30 easy).
We talked a lot, I think we are good friends, do I come across as a creep?! I am not obsessed with her or anything, so I think we can be friends, why not? Why should I just leave them?
Anyways, it was her birthday today and I gave her a pack of cigars and a bottle of vodka and she liked it, and invited me to her party, so we’ll see.
““It sounds like they figure you are not going to like doing what they are doing so that’s why they don’t invite you. Are you a studious type who has a smart reputation?””
I think that is a possible reason. They ask me, do you drink? And I just say, no.
Since you don’t drink or smoke yourself, these are pretty creepy presents. How old is she?
gave her a pack of cigars and a bottle of vodka and she liked it, and invited me to her party, so we’ll see.