<p>It’s not our fault that NCP Deadbeats don’t cooperate. Why can’t they just accept what we have to say about them, instead of treating us like we’re lying, giving US the third degree? </p>
<p>I hate this. I guess all these colleges want is rich people’s kids. They are losing out on a whole class of quality students who work for what we want, and who will appreciate our education a lot more than a bunch of entitled brats will ever do. I guess that makes the college not so special after all, that they have to BULLY kids because they have an a*%^ for a parent.</p>
<p>Sorry for the vent. I am just upset because one of my colleges is giving me a hard time about the NCP form. It’s not fair. “Ability” to pay is relative, my stepfather picked up the ball, and just because my deadbeat dad has any kind of income (and he is retired so it’s not much) I am supposed to have the “ability” to Make him pay? Yeah, right.</p>
<p>At the end of the day your parents are the first people in line when it comes to paying for your education. So when your parents say that they are not going to pay for you to go to college, they are essentially saying let other people’s parents pay for my child to go to college (where do you think the institutional aid comes from- other people who generously give back to their schools.</p>
<p>While college is a moral and a social obligation, it is not a legal one. No one can make your parents pay to send you to college.</p>
<p>When you are asking for other people’s money, you must supply them with the information that they are asking for. There are close to 4000 colleges in the country. Approximately 300 schools ask for the profile/non-custodial profile. This leaves well over 3000 colleges for you to choose from. If you feel that the process is so egregious and the colleges are giving you a hard time, so apply there and certainly don’t ask them for their money.</p>
<p>Sybbie is right. It’s the parents (both parents) primary responsibility to pay for college. College aid isn’t unlimited. </p>
<p>This really isn’t much different from when married parents refuse to pay for their kids college costs. In those cases, schools don’t just accept a student’s word that his jerky parents won’t pay. </p>
<p>Seriously, if colleges just accepted a custodial parents word that the other side won’t cooperate, and then the colleges just gave money, we’d see a lot of NCPs refusing to pay.</p>
<p>you do have other options… Believe me, even kids from intact households don’t have it easy much of the time when it comes to paying for college.</p>
<p>BTW, I can’t apply to schools farther than 2 hours away because of my disability. I can’t just go “there” and apply, because probably 50 of those 300 schools are in my area.</p>
<p>If people want to GIVE to their schools, then they should trust the school to do what’s right with the money. I would think the schools have better judgement than the givers as to what makes a good student and what doesn’t.</p>
<p>Yes, your dad is “in line”…unless he gave up parental rights a long time ago. The law recognizes him as your legal dad, right? If he has NEVER been in your life, has never paid child support, you don’t know his whereabouts, and/or has never visited you, then you should try to get a NCP waiver.</p>
<p>How do you know where he lives? Did he give up his parental rights after you were born? (don’t know if that will make a difference with schools.)</p>
<p>*BTW, I can’t apply to schools farther than 2 hours away because of my disability. I can’t just go “there” and apply, because probably 50 of those 300 schools are in my area.</p>
<p>If people want to GIVE to their schools, then they should trust the school to do what’s right with the money. I would think the schools have better judgement than the givers as to what makes a good student and what doesn’t. *</p>
<p>Can you clarify? These paragraphs are unclear. I understand that you have some disability and need to be rather close to home, but I don’t understand the rest of what you wrote.</p>
<p>Certainly there are several schools in your 2 hour radius that do NOT require CSS Profile NCP info. Where do you live?</p>
<p>I <em>don’t</em> know where my sperm donor lives, where did you get the idea that I did? No, he didn’t give up his parental rights, not that he used them.</p>
<p>I cannot get into schools that require SATs, my disability precludes me from doing well on standardized tests. So of the ones that don’t require them within a 2 hour drive, 99% of them require the CSS. </p>
<p>A GIFT is a GIFT. What the recipient does with it should not be up to the GIVER. Someone above commented about people GIVING money to their schools. Didn’t think there were supposed to be strings attached.</p>
<p>Anyway, what really has made me mad is the way the schools talk to you, it’s like they are bullying you - who really needs this??? It’s NOT MY FAULT. It’s one thing to penalize the parents, but to talk to the kids like they are scum is quite another.</p>
<p>BTW our EFC for the FAFSA is $153. So you can see they just HAVE to know where the money is that a 75 year old man on social security is coming from.</p>
<p>I <em>don’t</em> know where my sperm donor lives, where did you get the idea that I did?</p>
<p>Are you saying that you don’t have any means to contact him? If so, how do you know how to contact him? </p>
<p>If you have no idea where he lives, and you have no means to contact him, then you need to ask for a waiver.</p>
<p>*BTW our EFC for the FAFSA is $153. So you can see they just HAVE to know where the money is that a 75 year old man on social security is coming from. *</p>
<p>Who is the 75 year old man? </p>
<p>And, I still don’t get the “gift quote”. Are you upset that people give money to schools and schools are careful about who they give that money to?</p>
<p>It’s sad, but most kids do not get to go to any college they want. I’m guessing there are community colleges and perhaps a state 4 year within 2 hours of your area. They will not require the CSS and most end up at their state schools. Who’s feeling entitled?</p>
<p>It IS different with married parents. If the biological parents are married, and one parent chooses not to work, the colleges are happy to accept that the family has only one income. They don’t question that decision or declare that the homemaker spouse must go back to work or attribute some sort of nonexistent income to that person. Married parents, one income = financial aid. </p>
<p>But when the parents are divorced, then the student is held responsible for the income of the non-custodial and non-contributing parent. The majority of states do not compel that parent to contribute a single dime once the kid is 18 – so there is no legal requirement for the parent to contribute. Often that parent has had little to no involvement in the student’s life for years, doing no more than sending a court-ordered child support check – but that kid is expected to come up with a contribution based on the income to an outside person or household. </p>
<p>I agree with the OP – it is unfair, because kids of divorced parents generally are faced with a tougher time growing up and then saddled by private colleges with a fictitious source of income. The noncustodial parent is NOT the equivalent of a 2nd parent in the home, because the relationship is different. It is far less likely that a parent who has had very little contact with their offspring over the years is going to feel emotionally invested in the idea of paying for college.</p>
<p>Since only one of your schools is giving you a hard time, I’d say drop them like a hot potato and move on! If they’re treating you shabbily now, do you really want to have to deal with them for the next four years anyway?</p>
<p>Thank you calmom - you got my point exactly. Thank you thank you thank you. It is like having to have a third income, and it is MY responsibility. That’s like any other kid having to claim a neighbor as a third income. My parents both work, and now we have to add SD’s? Fine, then don’t count my "step"dad’s! </p>
<p>The 75 year old man on social security is my Sperm Donor, or what a college thinks is a “father.” What, do you think all parents are young?</p>
<p>This sperm donor has never called me even once. Maybe he’s senile and forgets that I exist. I see him once in a while IF he shows up at the front door. Would you REALLY expect a person like that be cooperative? The only reason he paid child support is because his check could be attached by the government. And even then it didn’t go up all my life. They can’t give my mother his address, thank you HIPPA.</p>
<p>If you don’t understand the gift thing, you never will.</p>
<p>Sk8rmom - I have considered doing that. But with my SAT problems, I don’t know if I can. It sucks. I don’t have any community colleges near me, and I can’t drive, so I can’t get to one.</p>
<p>When you have a disability, you see, the world is a totally different place.</p>
<p>Unfortunately there are always going to be things that are unfair. The other side of the coin is that there are children of divorced families where the NCP supports his/her kids, are active in their lives. Some willing provide information and choose to pay for college while others don’t. </p>
<p>There are intact families who do not want to pay to send their children to college.</p>
<p>What are financial aid offices suppose to do? </p>
<p>They are not going to grant a waiver to every NCP who acts like a jack*** because the flood gates would open and people would get divorced (if they are still married) or those who are divorced would stop taking care of their kids if it meant they would not have to pay for college. </p>
<p>The sad fact is that it is the adult in the form of the NCP that is making the conscious decision not to do the right thing (social and moral) by his/her child.</p>
<p>Unfortunately one’s willingness or unwillingness to pay is not a factor in the financial aid process. As schools (even those with deep pockets) have limited funds, the fair thing to do is to request the information from everyone.</p>
<p>If you feel that you have grounds to get a non-custodial waiver, request one from the school. If they are making you jump through hoops to get it, if you want it, then you have to jump through the hoop. Again, if you feel the school is asking too much, walk away.</p>
Rather the question should be “why should colleges reward deadbeats?” because that’s what would occur if they didn’t look at NCP income (compared to other applicants). Few colleges require the CSS Profile. Even fewer look at NCP earnings. There must be SOME schools within driving distance that don’t.</p>
<p>But see, you are looking at a waiver as getting the NCP off the hook. The waiver doesn’t get ANYONE off the hook, especially when they’re not required to BE on the hook to begin with. NO parent is on the hook. But requiring this from someone not in the picture puts the KID on the hook TWICE as much as if they’d been from the family calmom described.</p>
<p>If I had an NCP dad who was a part of my life and supported me, I would have no problem. He’d fill it out. He might even have saved some money for my and my sister’s college educations. He might have called me on a birthday. Those kinds of dads, they’re great. I have one, he’s called my STEPdad.</p>
<p>Erin’s dad, as I said, I can’t drive because of my disability. There is no community college or state u near here with public transportation - and we don’t have any here, anyway. You did not read all the posts. I need a test-optional school because of my SATs. All the test-optionals within a 2 hour drive of me require the CSS NCP form. If a person is not required to pay for college, period, how is it THEY are the ones being rewarded? </p>
<p>No, it’s a convenient way to keep the bloodline pure without offending a race, or a category of people - especially those who maybe aren’t well-off enough to “get it”. Let the rich kids from intact families in, keep the not-so-rich out. Pretty much like Nazis.</p>
<p>Last place I’d ever think to invoke Godwin’s Law is on the Financial Aid forum, but congratulations kartwheelie, you’ve just closed down the discussion. </p>
<p>kartwheelie, we get that you are angry. Your anger is not going to solve the problem. You have a few choices. You can ask posters here for help with the issue of getting a waiver from the NCP. Some posters are highly knowledgeable and/or work in FA offices; they’ll be able to offer you worthwhile advice. sybbie has given you excellent advice. I’d add that you can either approach the college FA office with an aggrieved sense of how you are being unfairly treated, OR you can suck it up and do what’s necessary to get the forms filed. Venting to the FA officers about sperm donors and such is not going to endear you to them. Their money, their rules. </p>
<p>If you can get the waiver, well and good. If you can’t, you’re going to have to come up with another plan. My suggestion is to start a new thread on the College Search forum with a subject heading describing what you’re looking for, e.g. “Looking for FAFSA-only test-optional school with public transport near (general location).” You might also cross-post in the Learning Differences and Challenges forum. See what suggestions people offer. </p>
<p>And if worse comes to worst and you have no other options, figure out how you are going to go to work and save up enough to be able to afford to live somewhere near a community college. </p>