<p>Kluge (and Reflectivemom) -</p>
<p>Thanks for your perspective. I tend to agree with reflectivemom. I could never accept that this behavior is age appropriate. It may be more typical now than in my generation, but I would never call it age appropriate. I believe that many parents today are raising very self-centered, opportunistic, inconsiderate young folks. And, the little applets don’t fall far from the old parental tree. My son has always been schooled in the notion that everyone at all times deserves consideration and respect. It is not that he is, let’s say, an only…instead, it’s because he was well-raised (note the pat on the back 
).</p>
<p>I view this from a very unique perspective. This past year, my son brought home from school someone who on the surface appeared to be a very nice, well-educated, substantial young woman. They had a serious relationship going and both were seriously talking longterm and promise ring and acted very seriously and nurturing toward each other. Girl then goes off on January term course trip…cheats on son with a stranger…then hooks up with another college mate on the trip for new relationship. DS gave her a diamond necklace at Christmas, met her at the airport coming back from the trip with a dozen roses, then she dumped him…and she expected him to get over it pronto and make out/go out with her best friend. They wondered what was wrong with HIM when he couldn’t/wouldn’t do that. No, Kluge, I think the problem lies in the upbringing. Yeah, there may be some variation among kids, but upbringing does matter.</p>
<p>Also, another example…son was heavily recruited to rush a frat (top on campus) and he accepted the bid. Son is a disability student, one of whose disabilities is processing speed, which makes it very difficult to get large numbers of tasks done quickly. As he started to get a bit behind in his pledge tasks, I encouraged him to talk with pledge trainer and frat president about the matter. I even had the occasion to speak with the frat president about the situation (during phone calls on the financial end of things). President assured us both that the matter would be worked out and handled in a responsible manner. The responsible manner they chose was to dump DS 3 days before initiation…thus crushing him, causing him to miss the housing lottery, not to mention violating federal law, etc. Now, he has a choice of being in a dorm room on the frat floor in the dorm, or getting the bottom of the barrel in room and roommate selection. Administration is trying to help, but at this point there’s only so much they can do. And, the guys he was formerly friends with now avoid him like the plague because they themselves would risk social censure if they continued their relationship with them. Oh, and may I add, that one of the boys in DS’s pledge class, who commited a destruction of property felony during the pledge period was only deferred out a semester and was forgiven his transgression because, as the president put it, “boys do make mistakes.” Oh, now, let me get this straight…we forgive felonies but not disabilities…unbelievable!</p>
<p>Bottomline is that I feel that much social propriety is out the window in this generation and it feeds directly from the self-serving parents who raised them.</p>
My kids, and many of their friends we’ve travelled with over the years, also value family, and we are a very close family in every possible way. Having said that, I can’t imagine that my girls once they reached college age would have much desire to travel with the family of any their friends, with the exception of their boyfriends’ families, and they’ve done that. They certainly do with us, and as I said, boyfriends always come along, but not just ‘friends’. I’m not saying it’s ‘right’, or that I know for sure, just that it may be an issue. Who knows. I hope you can get this sorted out though, so that you can all have a great trip. For me, the anticipation of a fun trip is almost as good as the trip itself! :)</p>