So I am bumping this conversation for the benefit of the 2024 class, some of whom are still caught up in decisions due to the FAFSA tangle… hope no one minds. So many experts here that have helped us through the overwhelming craziness!
I have been feeling unsettled because our family recently received a “final message to seniors” from a school counselor in the last weeks of school indicating that “a lot of students have been coming in the last few weeks asking how to get private loans to pay their college bills…It’s easy!” The tone of the email suggested that parents also did not know that endless loans would not be provided to the students by their schools. I don’t begrudge the counselor, who actually hosted many financial talks these kids and parents apparently did not attend, but am really saddened by how aid packages trickled out this year and by the idea that the FAFSA delay may result in a lot of excess debt.
This message came out AFTER most commitment dates had passed. I am not joking when I say my daughter did not want to disclose that she decided to attend our state flagship on scholarship after having been admitted to a top private program for her desired major. Her peers could rattle off rankings and judgment like nobody’s business, but could not hold a conversation when she started discussing FAFSA, need based grants versus merit, or amortization. The fact that many of them signed onto colleges without knowledge of how to pay astonishes me.
Truth be told, we really wanted to be able to send her to that private school and think she had the talent to make waves in her field. The NPC was way off, and we were left with a gap above our budget… but just enough above budget that we could possibly find a way with some creativity. It was a painful parenting moment. BUT when we charted out how much our child would need to take in loans, what that would look like for the next twenty years, how many hours she would need to dedicate to work study and explained that her college fund would be gone after one year, the glow started to wear off. When we explained that we, as parents, would also have to find gap funding equal to what the state school cost in total, the tide turned. We made it clear we would not be taking parent loans (personal choice) and we would need to work together to plan cutbacks and restrictions to save money. We discussed a deferral and gap year for work as well. My daughter took ownership of her decision, grieved her loss, and moved on. We anticipate she will be debt free for undergrad.
I think kids can be mature enough to understand these things, but need us to use our experience to present it in a digestible way. For example, my kids know I was able to choose to stay home with them after a decade in law because I didn’t have crushing debt. (My parents, who themselves were first gen non-traditional grads, still have a hard time digesting this. I am glad I paid my own way and didn’t feel obligated to anyone. But that’s me.)
If educated, financially savvy adults want to arrange their finances to let their kids attend a dream school at their own cost, that’s their prerogative. (And it often involves extensive long-term planning that avoids high interest loans). My concern lies with the families and kids running out to get loans in the weeks and months before school begins without a clue about what that involves. Sallie Mae is sending me tons of emails telling me how easy it is. It feels very predatory. I feel a lot of compassion for the parents and students dealing with the reality of gap funding. I can’t help but feel that we are letting families down both with the costs of college and the amount of education we provide regarding how debt affects students, parents and society. If only we could put the same emphasis on debt counseling as we do on rankings!
Thanks for the old thread! I found it consoling at a stressful time!
. She’s also a Master of the thrift stores. Lol.