<p>I am an 18 year old HS senior that was born with severe cleft lip/palate. My surgeries were successful but I still have a significant scar on my lip. Also my voice is somewhat nasal. I am wondering if getting a girlfriend in college is going to be next to impossible since I don’t really have any qualities that make-up for my problems (I’m a nice guy with a good personality but that only goes so far). </p>
<p>On an unrelated note: I’m not trying to gain an advantage but will my cleft make me sort of a “URM” when it comes to admissions? I’ve also had severe family problems (divorce, mental illness, financial) so my life has been relatively difficult. Will colleges care about that? I’m not a racial URM so I’m not gonna get any help from my race.</p>
<p>To your first question, if you keep your standards reasonable, then there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to get a girlfriend. If you’re willing to date a girl about as attractive as you consider yourself, then you should be fine. </p>
<p>To you second question, it might be something that you could mention in an essay as a hardship that you’ve overcome and what not. I don’t know if this would really do much to help your app though. Ultimately, you’ll be more than fine wherever you end up, most likely.</p>
<p>We really can’t answer your question without pics. Is the scar major? Or is it a little bump that might endear you sort of as an URM for girlfriend admissions.</p>
<p>No, having family issues doesn’t make you a URM. (Trust me, I’ve had it all. Suicides, rape, alcoholism, drug addictions, poverty, disability, mental illness, the list goes on within my family.) However, it is something to mention in your app. Don’t use it as an excuse, explain what you’ve learned from it.</p>
<p>However, on the assumption that you’re not a ■■■■■, the good girls don’t care about a scar. Beauty fades, stupidity and ignorance remain forever.</p>
<p>How is divorce a severe family problem? Most parents divorce. Mine did when I was 4. We also grew up in poverty (by canadian standards). By no means should this make any difference in admissions.</p>
<p>I agree with romamigypsyeyes that good girls don’t care about scars. Yes, two people have to be attracted to one another, but everyone has different tastes. A scar is a scar and shouldn’t be a problem, just make sure you aren’t irritating. Be a listener, show you care about the person and treat them with respect, and do not smother or act desperate in anyway. If you are self-confident and comfortable in your own shoes it will be obvious and that is a major turn-on. Usually, it is when you are not looking for a relationship that you will find one. </p>
<p>Oh, one last piece of advice, treat all of the females you know with respect, whether you are attracted to them or not. Women talk to each other and if you have a reputation as a being a jerk, it will get around.</p>
<p>The only thing that will keep you from getting a girl is your negative attitude. Cheer up and be more confident–don’t let your lip pull you down. </p>
<p>And, no, you would not be considered a URM.</p>
<p>i know it’s stereotypical, but there’s definitely someone for everyone. so yes, and if she’s a good person, she wouldn’t care about looks anyway.</p>
<p>also, lots of people find scars hot. just sayin’.</p>
<p>Honestly, if you posted this thread that means you’re insecure. Nothing wrong that really, but it does have social consequences, like making it hard to find a girlfriend. </p>
<p>If you want to feel confident and get girls then insecurity is the issue you need to tackle. I know it sounds easy to say, but once, way back when I was I in middle school, I was the butt of jokes, but now I’m so confident that I just don’t even care what people think of me. And yes, I can get just about any girl I want. The trick? Make yourself interesting. Differentiate yourself. Find something, a passion maybe, and become really REALLY good at it. Workout and build your body a little. Broaden your cultural knowledge, pick up a romantic language, listen to music and read/learn interesting things that could be conversation starters (for example, I’m reading a biography on Napoleon right now). Act cool and sound smooth but never be pompous because you don’t want to be “that guy”. It takes a while to master but there’s a trick to it. At first you’re going to feel like you’re forcing yourself and you need to act to fit-in but soon it’ll become instinct and you’ll transform from from a type B to an alpha male. Girls care more about personality than looks, and the ones that don’t aren’t worth it anyway.</p>
<p>Oh, and step on in being more secure is to stop thinking that the world owe’s you something because of your scar. Play it up in college admissions if you need to but don’t ever think that you’re owed anything. Be normal and you’ll be treated as such.</p>
<p>Sorry if I said anything harsh but it was with good intention. Also, I know I was being as didactic as Polonius but I don’t have time to write a book. Best of luck bro</p>