We were at a large hotel Saturday morning that had a huge atrium with shops, restaurants, etc. We were having breakfast. The kind of hotel where many rooms face the indoor atrium. We were eating when suddenly in the walkway up to the restaurant we start hearing a huge commotion. One woman is being held back by another woman while a very big muscular man looks to be beating the daylights out of a child. The woman was clearly furious at the man and swinging at him. He was yelling and made a few really hard hits that we could all hear. Everyone around the restaurant froze. I just turned to my husband and freaked out a bit. The restaurant manager slowly walked to the desk to call security. This guy seriously would flatten me or my husband. They were also with quite a few people. The child wasn’t even screaming or crying like you’d expect, which to me meant it wasn’t the first time. We did nothing and I felt sick about it because we knew it wasn’t safe to intervene. The security came after it was over and they had walked away. They couldn’t have looked lazier or less concerned about it. The staff was also undone.
I’m still bothered by it now. I couldn’t even think of the right thing to do. I now wished I called 911. If I had known how ridiculous the security team was I would have. If it isn’t safe to intervene, what should someone do?
It’s hard to know without having been there. I can sympathize with your situation. I would hope that in those circumstances I would get up and confront someone regardless of the potential danger, but in the moment who knows? Baring that, documenting things on cellphones could prove useful in the event that authorities became involved. Calling 911.
I’d be sick too and like you I’m not sure what my first action would or really should be.
I think I might have stood up and yelled “Cut it out!” or something similar if it was close enough just to be a distraction. Sometimes it only takes one person to break the frozen response of others.
I just finished reading a book (dedicated to objective reporting) where the author ran into a similar situation (not with kids though).
She was in a hotel with a huge loud fight going on outside her room between a man and a woman at 230am. She looked out the peephole and couldn’t see anything since it was a few doors down but could clearly hear the argument.
She didn’t open her door because of safety reasons. After 10 min she called the front desk to report it and security and eventually police were called. (The argument continued for quite a while)
The short story was that it turned out to be an argument between a pimp and a prostitute who "wanted out’. Her phone call and intervention helped end a prostitution ring operated out of the hotel.
But the amazing and sad thing is that she was the ONLY one who reported the event even though many people must have heard the violent argument.
I think you could get the name and contact info of another witness, or, in this case, a staff member. I’d recommend calling the hotel to see if the incident was reported, and if not, I’d be inclined to call and report it myself. Having the witness contact info would give a second account to corroborate. You don’t want to put yourself in danger during a volatile situation but you also want the peace of mind of having reported it.
@gouf78 I assume you have heard Kitty Genovese.
If you don’t want to endanger yourself or make the situation worse by intervening, then take out your phone & film it.
I know reporting it is important of course but it seems the first priority is the kid’s safety.
@TomSrOfBoston Actually the story of Kitty Genovase is mostly myth. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kitty_Genovese
It’s difficult to say without having been there. Depending on what state you’re in, there’s a large gray area between perfectly legal corporal punishment and child abuse.
“looks to be beating the daylights out of a child” describes more than legal corporal punishment.
I probably would have screamed at them just to get the man to stop, film it, call the police and turn the video to the police. I wouldn’t have approached them because it would be too dangerous. I think by screaming may make them aware there were people watching.
Imagine yourself as that child. Many adults around observing and doing nothing to help you. The first step beyond intervening on the spot (which I understand is dicey) is to get help- call 911 right away and yep, snap a photo or video. If that family was staying at the hotel they should have been approached by law enforcement even after walking away - knock on their hotel room and confront the abuser.
If the other family members or people with the family did not step in that is appalling.
I guess it depends on the state. In my state, all adults are mandated reporters. I think recording it on the cell phone, calling 911, and reporting to CPS if names could be ascertained would all be appropriate for something that has been described as going well beyond parental corporal punishment.
It’s amazing that a cell phone video of a man harassing a bison at Yellowstone went viral (and got the man arrested) but no one thought to take a video of a man beating a child.
OP I am sympathetic to the circumstances and understand your lack of action. With that said why is this different then witnessing any other violent criminal act. A child being beaten, a woman being hit or raped, someone pointing a gun, someone strong arm stealing a car, all crimes all requiring the same response. Why would you not call the police and why should this even be a question?
I am not saying be a hero and put yourself in harms way and potentially escalate the situation. Instead you are in a large public venue with I am sure has many areas of regress if needed. Get out and call the police immediately. If need be pull a fire alarm. I don’t care how you intervene to help that kid but you find a way.
That cycle of violence will now invariably take place again until action is taken. Sorry but I don’t see a lot of ambiguity here.
No, don’t pull a fire alarm, which carries penalties and we know can lead to panic and injuries.
For OP, this is her first experience with this sort of thing and a chance to think what she’d do next time. And this occured inside, in a public spot with lots of people around AND presumably a staff in charge.
We don’t know what occured in the end. Maybe there was some intervention even after the argiuing party moved on. Maybe the police did show.
I might get up and head for management immediately. If they didn’t move quickly to identify and diffuse the situation, then I’d have my cell out to call police that a child was being deliberately hurt.
I do appreciate the OP reaching out and asking “what should we have done”? if it was her first time experiencing a child being beaten.
Think about these things.
There were quite a few people.
The manager walked slowly to call security.
Everyone froze.
Someone held another woman back who wanted to defend the child (?)
How any of that help a child being BEATEN. In a position to have significant physical injury and without a doubt, lasting mental abuse.
I sure hope something was done at some point. This situation required law enforcement for protection of that child in the future and to criminalize the man who used physical harm.
lookingforward The description is set as follows: a large man “beating the daylights” out of a small child as a female is physically strained from intervening . I stand by my comment and if need be deal with the consequences.
Your right we don’t know what happened in the end but we do know at the begging and middle a kid was being beaten. Actions not words were required.
Action was taken. Security was called. It is reasonable to assume hotel security would respond far more quickly than police would be able to.
Unless security was able to identify which patrons it was, there’s unfortunately not much they could do. Any confrontation by an outsider might have made things worse for that child - even if it stopped that particular incident. Even recording the incident would not necessarily help - if someone involved filed a report, it might corroborate, but the OP had no way of identifying the man involved. The hotel cannot be expected to knock on every door disturbing other guests, in an effort to find him.
Don’t second guess yourself - you saw the manager reporting it to security, and expected something to come of it. If you had called 911, they most likely would have arrived even later, and been unable to do anything. This was at a hotel - even with video evidence, the police would have a hard time tracking down the offender, who most likely does not live locally. Now that you’ve seen the outcome, perhaps you will be better prepared the next time you observe something similar (though I hope you never do).