<p>Missypie–I could have posted that about the arm flaps!</p>
<p>I try to be thankful for what I DO have. A waist. Pretty good hair (never thought I would say that, but it’s gotten wavy as I age. It’s more, um, interesting now.)
Good health. :)</p>
<p>Anyone else find they are losing their inhibitions? I am not afraid of public speaking anymore. I will do goofy things in public without shame. </p>
<p>:cool:</p>
<p>Wow, reading this thread has made me be happy to be a woman over the age of 50. Looking back, I often tell my daughter and my students that I think your 20’s are an unnecessary evil, that you just got to live through, because you really don’t learn anything about life until you are older. </p>
<p>I am grateful to have had a lived life and to be so comfortable in the skin that I am in (even though some of it is sagging as I have lost over 50lbs). I have a much different perspective on things than I had at least 10 years ago. I am calmer and definitely much wiser. I laugh a lot more (usually at myself).</p>
<p>Menopause has been easy so far (like M3B, just stopped, no flashes or mood swings). </p>
<p>The best thing I did for myself was cut my hair really short (which made me look about 10 years younger then) and I am embracing the gray hair that is coming in. I do not think that I am going to dye my hair (I am just hoping to get that really pretty silver gray hair). I am grateful for my gene pool, because my face is holding up great I still look a good 10 years younger, not a wrinkle or crows foot and my hands look great!! The bat wings are an unnecessary evil that I am learning to live with along with the occasional patches of dry skin on my elbows . My 68 year old sister is my idol; if I can look half as good as she does when I get there, I would be a happy woman.</p>
<p>I am glad to be where I am today and I would not take nothing for my journey!!</p>
<p>I also hate (a) hot flashes and night sweats, (b) lower back pain that is becoming chronic, and (c) needing reading glasses. Because of a combination of (a) and (b), I am not sleeping well. Night sweats wake me up, then I realize that my back hurts and I can’t fall back asleep. And then if I’m awake too long, Mr. Worry comes to visit and my heart starts beating quickly. Having any kind of chronic anything makes me feel about 70. </p>
<p>I will say that last year I realized that one can be too thin…at least when one is over 50. Due to some medication issues, I lost about 15 lbs…was in the high double digits…didn’t receive compliments, received concern. We had a family photograph taken and I think I looked like Nancy Reagan. So now I’m back up to “wanting to lose 5 lbs” which makes for a better looking face.</p>
<p>As much as I wish I looked younger, a younger friend and wonderful teacher just died of lung cancer. Perspective is heading my way.</p>
<p>And yes, missypie, I have night sweats, back pain, don’t see well, don’t sleep well, but then my son comes home with college friends and I am so happy to be alive.</p>
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<p>As I mentioned earlier, I was never attractive. Now I know one of the advantages. I never experienced this situation.</p>
<p>I hope I age graciously and attractively. It is possible for that to happen and some people even look better as they age. These days there is so much out there to tweak ones looks, so there is a lot more leeway in this area.</p>
<p>Wait…all you girls are losing your looks? :)</p>
<p>Hahahaha! But all those actresses don’t seem to age.</p>
<p>My MIL was a true beauty when she was young and the loss of her looks was devastating to her. She lost them terribly. </p>
<p>One nice thing about getting older, is that looking neat and put together is more the deal than looking movie star gorgeous.</p>
<p>Thanks for the links ucbalumnus, I found this one, which is what I want to be like when I’m 100. I’m gonna have to start working on this pretty soon, lol.
[72</a> Year Old Women is Super Fit! - YouTube](<a href=“72 Year Old Women is Super Fit! - YouTube”>72 Year Old Women is Super Fit! - YouTube)</p>
<p>I’m perfectly happy with how I look, I always have been. I’m not amazingly good looking or anything, I’m just your average person out there, but it’s always been good enough for me.</p>
<p>I also find myself braver than when I was young.
Used to hate public speaking and while I don’t love it now it doesn’t send me into an anxiety attack like when I was younger.
I also seem to connect with my students in their twenties now. I think it’s because my own kids are that age now.
I realize that some coworkers just automatically come to me with problems they need direction with. There are several other ‘old timers’ that could help them too so it’s flattering I admit that they may still appreciate me and whatever brains I have left.
On crazy days, I do wish they’d find someone else though! :)</p>
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<p>Me too! And it just about kills my D when I do (just as it killed me when my mother did). It’s sort of like the nuclear option. :D</p>
<p>Re: losing inhibitions.</p>
<p>Something about having a baby with the anesthesiologist, the ob, the ob nurses, the pediatrician, the pediatric nurses, the interns, the residents, the construction workers who were passing by… does that to you.</p>
<p>Although H will tell you I never had that many in the first place.
;)</p>
<p>Most of it comes from where we derive our self esteem and how we were raised. My mother derived much of her self esteem from her looks so that carried through her life. When she felt her “looks” were going it impacted her view of herself. She would deride her friends who “let themselves go” and it would make me winch. Fortunately she never dressed inappropriately as she wasn’t raised that way, but she is and was consumed with the physical affects of aging. Somehow when I was in late teens I decided that was not important and that my self esteem was wrapped up in other things in addition to my outward appearance. I quit dyeing my hair and my mother had apoplexy I think because having a daughter with gray hair made her feel “older” or somehow diminished her. I did convince my mom to try to quit with the dye and frankly she looks “better” now…I never said a word to her as she was going through the trauma with her hairdresser, but my H did quite to my surprise and she got through that trauma. I think most secure men respect women that age in an appropriate and graceful manner. There is a mom at the kids school that is very scary and dressed out of the junior department. She looks great from behind and is trim etc., but when she turns around OMG. I often wonder if I had had a daughter what type of woman she would grow up to be…one of the sadnesses in my life that I had all boys.</p>
<p>Actually, I’m kind of glad to wear slightly more “mature” styles. I’m not talking about the catalogs with the pull-on pants and cutsey tops advertised in the Sunday coupon section, but I’ve always preferred neat, classic, “preppy” clothes. I think it comes from 12 years of Catholic school, wearing either uniforms or dress clothes to school, and also from the “prep” craze of the early '80s, when I was in college. I’ve read that you tend to favor what was fashionable when you were growing up and that has held true for me. Fashion was at a very modest stage when I was in high school and college -Annie Hall and all that. My mom and I are polar opposites and fought about everything under the sun except clothing styles, because there just wasn’t that much to fight about.</p>
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<p>You and I have the same mom. 
Mine (she’s 83) even called and asked that, if she paid for me to go to a salon to have my hair dyed, would I go. I’d “feel so much better about myself.”
Um, no, you’d feel so much better about YOURSELF if I dyed my hair. I feel just fine about my hair, and actually like my silvery highlights. And the whole question is silly anyway, since the money issue is irrelevant. I already happily pay my stylist three times what my mom does just to cut my hair.
My mother was a fashion model and beauty pageant winner. I don’t need to say anymore for anyone to understand how much her looks matter to her self esteem. Getting old has been very difficult for her.</p>
<p>Moonchild, my mom is 84 and “yes” she offered to pay for a stylist appointment much to my amusement. And yes my hair is quite pretty…no longer shiny but even my hairdresser “likes” the way my gray came in as it’s almost like highlights. The gray makes it thicker too as it was always board straight and tended toward flat. My husband likes it and my boys like it which was a surprise as my H is going to be one of those guys that doesn’t “gray.” And yes, my mother modeled in her youth and won some contests. She had a nickname that reflected her ‘body’ and it was always a surprise when some older guy in their crowd would call her by her nickname. I came across the pictures one time when she asked me to help her empty an old fire safe. I understand her better now than i did when I was twenty.</p>
<p>I have dark hair with grey highlights…stopped dying maybe 5 years ago.
Funny, but most of my close friends have been silent about my grey…you know, they’re kind people who follow the 'if you don’t have something nice to say…"
And that’s fine by me. Some of them look great with dyed hair, some a bit inconsistent with their faces IMHO.</p>
<p>BUT my kids and DH like the grey me. In fact, DH’s only request is hair that is not TOO short, he likes to play with my hair. OK, I can keep it shoulder length.
And along the line of spouses growing to resemble each other, DH’s salt and pepper thick head strangely matches mine!</p>
<p>Can’t lose what one never had, lol. </p>
<p>My mom is 82, just 4 years ago she had some work done to her face - she would never tell us exactly what - I think it is some kind of laser treatment. Her skin is taught and no wrinkles and absolutely no age spots. My much younger sis is now going to go to the same doc. </p>
<p>I would really like to have all my teeth capped, because I find dull teeth, more than anything else, is aging. The dentist advise against grinding down perfectly good teeth and putting veneers on though. It is also expensive.</p>
<p>There IS a strange dynamic for mothers of daughters. My daughter really is stunning, and that HAS impacted my feelings about beauty. I am so proud of her, and never felt threatened by her beauty. It did, however, kind of signal to me that though i can always try to look good for my own sake and self esteem, it’s really her time now. I think there are some mothers who have a hard time with that, and either try to compete, consciously or unconsciously, or give up, or feel so freaked out by their daughters that they pull back. It’s a strange thing the first time you go somewhere together and attention is so obviously directed at your baby!</p>