<p>I’m struck by how many posters don’t consider themselves attractive.
I think that people who are healthy and take moderate care of themselves would have to really work at being unattractive, so perhaps some are being too hard on themselves?
I admit I have mostly come to terms with how I present to the world. I am not a Grace Kelly type, & that is OK. There are worse things than being " cute" even at almost 55,
(it’s hard to escape destiny - tic)
I agree with other posters than the generation of dressing in house dresses & sensible shoes looked older than they were.
But I also agree with Colin Firth in that dressing to be “sexy”, is gruesome.
It is just too easy to overdo it. That is more aging than anything.
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<p>My grandmother colored her hair as long as she was in the workforce, & it looked very natural. She stopped coloring when she retired, and while I think that was probably a healthier choice, I think looking at her white hair in the mirror made her feel old. It was quite beautiful white hair btw, though.
My grandpa, also colored his hair. I don’t remember for how long, & I suspect my grandmother talked him into it, as he was an nice looking but not vain man. IMO, you couldn’t really tell anyway.
My mother let herself be talked into tinting at the hair salon, she didn’t have much grey hair & what she had blended in with her blond hair.</p>
<p>I had been putting a henna rinse on my hair for years to punch it up a bit, but as it was the same color as my roots, I could get away with just doing it a few times a year.
Until last year! Then I had roots! I wanted to stop dealing with it so I had my hair lightened to match. Traumatic. I aged overnight and didn’t look like myself.
So I changed it back.
But still didn’t want to deal with roots, so I changed my hairstyle, and let it grow out. The hairstyle makes the difference, it is still strawberry blond, but much lighter than it was & it is nice not to have to worry about grow out.
Having grow out scares me even more than having eyesight so bad that my makeup looks clownish.
( of course the magnifying mirror I got to deal with THAT problem is pretty terrifying in itself!)</p>
<p>And reading glasses should NEVER be worn by anyone looking into them! Double scary! I made that mistake once shortly after I started wearing readers. AACCKK!</p>
<p>At this age, I think a trim, fit figure in ageless or age-appropriate wardrobe and neat, flattering hairstyle do wonders for helping us remain as attractive as we can.</p>
<p>H and I used to refer (affectionately, between ourselves…) to “the blue-hairs” meaning the very mature ladies in the 1980s who threw some kind of silver-blue rinse over their gray hair. Now that same age cohort favors a reddish orange. My brunette D, very familiar with the geriatric populations her dad works with, sized up the situation this way: “Red is the new blue.” </p>
<p>My eyes are attractive but close-set, making a problem: today’s wide glasses make me look cross-eyed! I buy the largest version of children’s/preteen glasses with adult stylig, designed for those hussies who want to look older than 12. Those glasses fit, and I get occasional compliments on the glasses. When I want to look my best, I wear contac lenses. Eye contact with others in conversation is MUCH better with the lenses, I find. That could be because I feel better in the contacs, so put out that energy.</p>
<p>Not happy with my mouse-brown-gray combo, but I stopped rinsing 10 years ago. I would now like to find a way to embrace the gray by streaking with more silver, but the haircolor section is all about covering up the gray. I tried a test-strand of highlight frosting, but all it did was turn yellow, so I’m glad i did the test strand; stopped right there. If anyone knows a way to do this, I’m interested. I’ve always admired gray/silver hair…</p>
<p>Gosh - I meant my mom’s skin is taut not taught :o</p>
<p>Not losing one’s mind is more important than not losing one’s looks imho. I notice I now sometimes mean one thing and say another without being aware of it. For eg. I have an appointment on next Tuesday when I meant next day. …</p>
<p>I haven’t read all the postings here, but at 56 (57 next month), I don’t feel that I’ve particularly “lost my looks”. I look damn good for my age, and I’m still alive, despite various attempts by appendicitis, childbirth, and cancer to kill me off. When we went to Tanzania ten years ago, the village elder told my husband " you must be very rich, your wife is so fat." Well, there you go.</p>
<p>Luckily my husband tells me that I look better than my friends who are the same age or even some who are younger. I look at our wedding pictures and those when my son was so young and I definitely see the age but what bothers me more is that my hair has thinned so much compared to those days. I miss my fuller head of locks.</p>
<p>LOL, dmd. One of H’s coworker, who has not seen me in a while, commented to him that I looked like a movie star. Ahem, I wonder what kind of movies he’s been watching. I definitely do not resemble any stars, although some folks say that I look like Meryl Streep (I think they need new glasses or contacts). :)</p>
<p>Guess my extended family & I should avoid Tanzania, as they will assume we’re all starving and poor since we tend toward the lower end of the BMI scale (around 22 or so). No one has ever compared me to a movie star but H & I agree that we are aging better than our friends. So far, we both have hair and our original body parts–we figure that counts for something and we are considered an attractive couple. ;)</p>
I really wish you hadn’t said that, P3T! My medium brown hair was thinning out and very blah, so I went dark auburn shortly before my 50th birthday.</p>
<p>I’m aging fine. I don’t understand why all my friends look so OLD and I still look the same! Seriously- I’m about to leave my 50s and I can’t wait for my new running age group. Being at the top end of 55-59 is getting tough. As long as I can still race long distances, I guess I’m doing OK and I’m happy with how I look. I’m not 30, but I’ll take it!</p>
<p>Ah…a subject near and dear to my heart since I will be turning 50 in a few days!</p>
<p>I think I look pretty good for my age, about average. I take care of my skin, dress stylishly, etc. I don’t feel invisible (yet) but I was never one to seek men’s attention anyway so if it’s gone, I haven’t noticed. My husband still thinks I am pretty and quite frankly that’s all that really matters to me.</p>
<p>However, I do have a dilemma…</p>
<p>My sister is 13 months younger than me. We grew up as ‘practically twins’. She was overweight as a child and teased a lot, so she has put a lot effort into her looks as an adult. Hiring a stylist, working out like a manic, crash diets and tons of plastic surgery. A few years ago, she had a tummy tuck, her 2nd breast lift (she had one pre-pregnancy), lipo on thighs, arms, chin, her eyes ‘done’ etc. It was 14 hour surgery. She looked good but we still looked about the same age. Last Thanksgiving she showed up looking a lot younger. She’s talked about having a facelift for 20 years so I thought she might have done that but it turns out it was just botox and filler under her eyes and her nasolabial folds. I saw her again last month, she still looks good but the fillers are starting to wear off.</p>
<p>She confessed she will be having a full face and neck lift in July (she will be 49 in July). So…all of a sudden I will have ‘aged’ over night compared to her since she is expecting to look 10 years younger after the facelift. IMHO, this really sucks (for me). I suppose when people exclaim how young she looks I can always recite her list of surgeries. :D</p>
<p>OK, I’m in my mid-40’s, and the thing about aging/looks that has bothered me most is the frown line I have in between my eyes. As someone said upthread, I feel like I’m starting to look like I’m frowning all the time. So (confession time), I’ve had botox a few times. It’s not enough for anyone to even notice really, but it has helped with that frown line. It’s not cheap though, so I haven’t done it for awhile, but an appointment may be in my near future. I don’t do much for myself - don’t buy a lot of clothes or expensive haircuts - so it’s my indulgence, but I still feel kind of guilty about it.</p>
<p>Will she really look so much younger though, MomLive? It seems to me that with a full face and neck lift, she could look worked on instead. I understand that cosmetic surgery can result in a younger appearance, but it often means that fake, tightened-up look. To each her own, but I much prefer a normally aging look to whatever it is that Joan Rivers has going on.</p>
<p>She is married and has three young daughters (ages 12 and 10 year old twins). I recently got some insight into why she feels the need to do this. She was close to 40 when she had her kids so she is one of the older moms. She also said that she and her husband travel in a group (think the real housewives of LA) where if you don’t look good you might be traded in for a younger model (new wife). I was quite shocked when she said that because I’m not sure I would want to be married to a man who would trade me in for someone younger as I aged. I guess I should feel sorry for her. On the other hand, she has always made a big deal about one’s ‘image’, spending a large portion of her time trying to look good. Think the ‘Nanny Diaries’ type of lifestyle (and, yes, she has always had a live-in nanny).</p>
<p>Will she look fake? I don’t know. IMO, you can tell someone has had work done when they look a lot younger than their actual age. People who look naturally young have always looked young, they don’t suddenly stop aging. OTOH, the techniques they are using now are sooo much better than the old pull and pin the skin back look. They actually manipulate the muscles and fatty tissue for a more natural look. That’s why so many celebrities seems to have stopped aging (think Demi Moore or Madonna, for example). No one looks that good through diet and exercise alone. Your skins still sags no matter how much you exercise.</p>
<p>I like getting older and wider…or is that wiser? Or both? When I hit 40, I made a decision to spend time wih people I like and not waste time with others. It was a good thing. </p>
<p>When I was younger, most people considered me fairly attractive (I placed in a couple of pageants, woohoo). However, my husband never seemed to emphasize looks at all, so I have not really worried too much about looks through the years. DH is also six years older than I am. We were at a funeral last month for my 93-year-old uncle and four people asked my 59-year-old husband if he was my uncle’s brother. The moral of the story? Most people do not have very realistic idea of how they look.</p>
<p>One of our friends says that when he looks in the mirror, he says,“I don’t know you, but I will shave you anyway.”</p>
<p>Getting older beats the alternative, gracefully or not.</p>
