<p>Be careful @VeryHappy,</p>
<p>Someone may say that your postpartum glow was to blame and you should have stayed in until the baby was a year old. </p>
<p>What about the 90 year old woman who was recently raped in her home? Were her white hair, liver spots & wrinkles to blame? </p>
<p>VeryHappy, I appreciate your post. Well written.</p>
<p>We have to educate our kids. Guys behave. Gals it is not your fault.</p>
<p>Being drunk is not an excuse for rape by the way.</p>
<p>dstark - how would you feel if a man was walking down the street with his chest showing? Or how about tight clothing? How about full makeup? Tight jeans (that does get comments and possibly violence from some)?</p>
<p>Now, tell me, is the reason a woman wants to dress pretty for <em>her</em>, or is it the male-dominated society that makes her think that she is less valuable if she is not pretty? Do men not want to look handsome? Do they not want to show off their six-pack? I think not, I think if society would let men get away with it, and they do on beaches and boardwalks to the point that stores have to say put on a shirt to them when in a beach town, the men would dress fine and comment-worthy.</p>
<p>I am sad that society brainwashes women, and girls, into thinking that showing what you got and dressing pretty (yes, even dressing pretty without showing anything) is somehow of value, but it is not of value to men. </p>
<p>I guess it is a choice, but is it really? If I don’t dress pretty and am female, is something wrong with me? Lots of people think so. My mom and other female relatives were intimidated by me not dressing “pretty” and not wearing makeup.</p>
<p>
That’s right? Staten Island is the only borough with classy men! They serve tea and crumpets on every street corner.</p>
<p>rhandco, I just don’t get your comments. You think this woman was dressed “pretty?” She is pretty, sure, but she was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and I don’t think she was notably made up, either.</p>
<p>It’s not a woman’s fault if a man rapes her. A woman may well choose to take actions she feels help protect her, but that doesn’t make it her fault if a guy commits a crime. That’s on him. </p>
<p>I think how she looked was fine.
She was covered up.
I think how you dress should be up to you, but I find with clothing that is loose, I am always catching it on something.
I usually wear knit dresses/ skirts as they are more comfortable, but I don’t wear heels.Both Ds wear close fitting clothing, one D because she is very petite and otherwise looks like she is drowning, the other because she had tactile issues.
( I don’t think they wear heels either except on special occasions)
Stiff material also isn’t very comfortable.</p>
<p>But women aren’t the only ones who get harassed. A man who belongs to one of my interest groups on facebook reported that a woman apparently drunk, commented that he worked out & was rubbing her hands all over his chest, then when he turned away, began drumming on his back.
That isn’t acceptable any more than teenage boys who have been molested by their teachers should recieve a wink & a high five.
But still- women by far are subjected to more harassment.
We need to bring civility back. What ever happened to keeping your lust in your heart?</p>
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<p>dstark, it’s not our kids that are the problem. There is no way in hell either of my sons would ever do what the men in the video did and what the men on the street in my past did. And my boys aren’t angels, either. </p>
<p>I agree with the comment that this male behavior is about control and possibly self-esteem. Like I said earlier it is territorial - men will do this partly to show everyone that this is their street/neighborhood/kingdom. The woman is only incidental. It is boorish and shows lack of respect; in fact, if the woman lives in the neighborhood it may be that she won’t get leered at if the guys there know her family.</p>
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I’m not realy understanding, either. I don’t think the actress was wearing anything sexy or provocative. I think she was attractive, but not spectacular. I see models walking the streets often and you can watch heads whip around because of how they look, but I think the actress here was pretty neutral looking.</p>
<p>I am not getting your comments rhandco. </p>
<p>There is no excuse for harassing people. Period. I dont care if it is against the law or not. </p>
<p>Acceptance of harassment doesn’t change anything.</p>
<p>I dont want my daughter to confront anybody. You never know what might set somebody off.</p>
<p>I wear shorts 270 days a year. I have nice legs. :)</p>
<p>I like to look at beautiful women. I think it is biological. I dont have to think that hard about this. ;)</p>
<p>I have no right to harass anybody.</p>
<p>"Is there some kind of female jealously, I am missing here as a male?Seriously.</p>
<p>Women are jealous of other good looking women so good looking women have to hide their bodies?"</p>
<p>I don’t think this woman’s situation has anything to do with female jealousy, nor the discussion about it. However, I will answer your question. Sure, women often do dress for other women, not as much for the guys. I will purposefully dress better, fix my hair and put on a slight bit of makeup when I am with some women. Others, out of consideration, I will dress down and not fix myself up at all. I am really careful with my husband’s family. One time when we were recently married, I wore a nice outfit (kind of short) and some jewelry, and everybody stared at me weirdly. I hated it, and only wear jeans around them now.</p>
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</p>
<p>Actually, the bike ride has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the health of people in her town and no impact upon it whatsoever. </p>
<p>You may not have read the threads on that subject, but we are forbidden to discuss it by the mods.</p>
<p>I find it interesting that whenever these situations come up, the woman is always blamed to some degree, and some of the most verbal “blamers” are other women.</p>
<p>“dstark, it’s not our kids that are the problem. There is no way in hell either of my sons would ever do what the men in the video did and what the men on the street in my past did. And my boys aren’t angels, either.”</p>
<p>Then society is going to be in much better shape in the future. </p>
<p>Buzdriver11, i dont know if this is a secret, but some women look quite good in jeans. ;)</p>
<p>The reason you think she was “dressed fine” and “average” is because our society expects women to dress that way, and <em>does</em> harass men who dress that way.</p>
<p>A man was wearing the exact same outfit as this woman, in terms of what it was and tightness, walking the streets of NYC would be beaten up or killed. Doesn’t anyone see that? Don’t they have a problem with it, that it is a product of our society that women “dress nice” and men can’t?</p>
<p>Just because many women dress like that and it is socially acceptable, doesn’t mean it is right. No one sees that apparently. No one sees that the clothing and makeup standards for men and women in every day life are so skewed, that we think tight jeans are “just fine”. That we think makeup is just fine.</p>
<p>Like busdiver11 said, I do feel that my friends dress down when with me. And I have friends I do dress up for. </p>
<p>No one has the right to harass anyone. Again, HOW MANY of the comments to her were clear and definite harassment, and how many were attempts to pick her up? Or is trying to talk to someone, maybe go on a date with them, harassment?</p>
<p>And dstark, I have a right to look at your legs. Do I have a right to say hello, if you are not with your SO? Do I have a right to see if you are available for lunch?</p>
<p>So, I think people read blaming when blaming is not the posters intent. The point of this video was to highlight harassment so they obviously dressed her up a bit and took her to streets lined with bored males. She could walk around my neighborhood with no problem but downtown she might get a couple of catcalls. In the bad parts of town she could be in big trouble.</p>
<p>There is a police officer who is being charged with raping 8 women in the Midwest I think. I believe his name is Daniel Holtzclaw. He has supporters who have raised money through crowd funding. He is also the defendant in a wrongful death suit. I can’t remember the particulars(I read about him a few months back).</p>
<p>I wonder how many of you would be in support of him? Secretly or otherwise? </p>
<p>I don’t think anyone supports raping eight woman. Even his supporters probably believe he didn’t do it for some reason. Most criminals have supporters who think they’re not guilty.</p>
<p>
WHAT way? I am at work in a conservative law firm today. I am in my late-ish 40s and am wearing black trousers, black oxfords and a black sweater. Very similar to what the actress in the video is wearing. So I don’t understand what way she is dressing.</p>
<p>The available for lunch idea is a little too much. </p>
<p>Yeah, you have a right to look. I am 58. I think there are better choices to look at out there. :)</p>
<p>I have problems if men are harassed too.</p>