I have been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half now. We both attend the same university in the same major, and by chance, will be working in the same large company after graduation. I came to my offer decision because I felt it was the best option for myself, as did she, so it’s not that we encouraged each other to make it work out this way. It was the happiest choice for each of us.
However, if fate didn’t have control, I’m not sure most people would choose to work in the same company as their SO. I have always heard it is not a good idea and, truthfully, am a bit nervous. I am committed to my work and want to build my network, and don’t want to be distracted by the relationship during work hours. I think it will take some discussion between us to figure these things out. But, I thought I would get the opinion of you parents first. Please share if you have any advice
You say that it is a large company. How large? How large is the location you will be working at? Will you be working in separate departments/groups? Is there any chance that one of you could be expected to supervise the other in the future which most companies would not allow?
Honestly although it’s discouraged, many working adults have relationships and even wind up marrying people they meet at work. People tend to form intimate relationships with people that they spend a lot of time with and that happens often with people who work together.
I feel like I’ve been on all sides of this equation. When I was in college I worked in the same organization as my boyfriend at the time. The managers were aware of our relationship and there were no issues until I attempted to get promoted and they directly told me that they had chosen someone else because of the issues that might result if I was supervising him.
I later dated a co-worker briefly in a very small business and kept the relationship secret since we were not sure the owner would approve. I wound up leaving the position for other reasons before our relationship ended, so the only problem was the discomfort of trying to keep it secret from co-workers and managers.
I currently work in a large location where there are many couples both who work in different departments and some that work in the same department. I worked here, in the same building of 100-200 people, for several years with my ex and there was another ex-couple who also worked in the building. The managers were aware of our (former) relationship when the decision to hire my ex was made and it was discussed with both of us to determine if it would pose a problem. As we had ended our relationship years before and were on relatively good terms, it became like working with a friend.
I would discourage accepting positions where you will be working with one another on a daily basis or where the relationship could pose an issue with professional growth, but if it’s a large company and you will be in separate departments it shouldn’t pose a problem, but only you know your own relationship and if it is something you will be comfortable with or not.
@jrcsmom’s post pretty much fit what I was thinking. If your so is in another department from you, one where there are no direct reporting lines and such between the departments, you should be okay. As the jrcs said, if you are working in the same area, it can be awkward when for example one of you may get promoted and end up supervising the other, and the company may not like that much, because it can raise issues of nepotism and such if let’s say your SO moved up the ladder, then you started getting promotions, even if in fact you deserved the raises. If you work in seperate departments, like she is in technology and you are in finance, there likely may not be any conflict. You may want to check the rules the company has, sometimes companies have rules against being in a relationship with anyone in the firm, though usually those are small companies where people basically all know and work with one another.
The other thing about working in the same place as your SO is it can be awkward if you guys break up, especially if you see each other every day, that is something to think about, too.
