When I lived in Germany companies gave each other presents. By late December our conference room was filled with stollen, wine and other goodies. The bosses then distributed it to us in some reasonably equitable way (keeping some of the best stuff for themselves!)
Someone in our office $10 white elephant exchange gave hot cocoa from the 99 cent store. It was really kind of mean…
i bought a bar of soap shaped like an elephant (white of course) for it, but now can’t find it! Back to the “as seen on tv” aisle at cvs I guess.
I don’t think of them as selfish or mean-spirited. I just don’t think it’s funny or amusing to see a bunch of junk traded around. I’m a declutterer type and if something is junk, why is it in your house anyway - why didn’t you throw it in the trash a long time ago? It’s kind of like what bothers me about garage sales – why are you holding on to junk in the first place? I get we all have areas / things that get cluttered – but I’m not hanging on to talking-fish or statues-of-Elvis or other junk on the off chance I’ll get invited to one of these swaps.
H has had these a few times at his employer’s small group holiday party–which used to include spouses. These are mostly thrift-shop style items. A pair of monkey candle holders has reappeared a few times. I actually “stole” them last year and gave them to my young D, who loves monkeys. Last year the party was very sad as the director had just been “given the opportunity to resign”–and blamed others (who were at the party) for that. Most awkward party I’ve ever attended. The only thing that made people laugh was my gift–a dancing fox that played “What Does the Fox Say”–super annoying and funny. This year the new director is not including spouses in the party. H plans to re-cycle the monkeys, but I’m not sure if D wants to give them up. This game has been fun and entertaining every time I’ve played it. You never know what someone might like–sometimes the tackiest/cheapest items are stolen. The price limit is $20 for H’s exchange, but many of the items are much cheaper or re-gifts. Some of his co-workers enjoyed scouting thrift stores to find the tackiest gifts for the party. Btw, I love the stud-finder–I’ll keep that in mind in case D won’t part with the monkeys!
I do think telling someone that he/she needs to “bring a better ($$) gift” is out of line for something like this.
Totally agree that telling someone to spend more is nuts. The whole idea of these is its en exchange of equal items. I would find it really awkward if the boss (or anyone) brought something more expensive than everyone else.
I’ve also never had a job where these exchanges were required or even where there was pressure to participate. At my current job about half the department participates usually. Most other people attend because along with the exchange we have lunch or something. At my last job the department was bigger and maybe 1/3 or so participated I think.
I’m not a fan of gift giving of any kind, white elephant or otherwise, in the office.
Stud finder - Oh boy. As long as no one makes any lame jokes if this item lands in the hands of a single young female…
At one company I worked for, we had a “mandatory” gift swap. Imagine everyone opening nice gifts… Then the company president, who was quite a chubby guy, opened his nicely wrapped box… to reveal some sort of a (obviously stored in someone garage for at least 2 decades) as seen on TV ab cruncher gizmo that would help the user to “get rid of unwanted fat - fast!” The silence in the room was so thick you could hear the sound made by dead needles falling off the tree.
I had no idea that a white elephant party was so angstsy.
We have done one for years with D’s friends and their parents. The horrible things that are wrapped and passed around
are hysterical. There are NO nice things, just worse and worse and funnier and funnier. Sometimes I find them left behind–that I then recycle. No one spends a dime and it just for jokes.
I would have hated doing this with my own colleagues though! It does take a certain amount of signature drinks to make it all right!!!
One of my former office groups had a blast with a Yankee swap, but none of us were the type that “got their noses out of joint” over a $5 or 10 exchange or if one or two spent half that.
It’s some potlucks that bug me.
Potlucks? I just do not eat. The food is disjointed and who knows how clean another person’s kitchen/they are…
I really do not like others to bring food when I entertain…
But, back to the White elephant–I thought it was to be a stupid item that was in your own closet–nothing of meaning or kindness!
Also! It was expected that you found the gift in your house–
No one buys anything–…
If folks are buying cheap something or other to wrap and play white elephant–well, seriously?
What a waste.
I never thought these were stress producing, just meant to be optional fun.
I attended a widow group luncheon with a $10 gift swap.
The gifts were considerate - wine, chocolates, sparkly purse with lip gloss, coffee sampler, wine glass marking pens. Mostly things we would be happy to receive.
Not everyone chose to participate.
Any sparkly purse that’s $10 would by definition be junk to me. Or regifted to my 11 yo niece. Maybe.
“Potlucks? I just do not eat. The food is disjointed and who knows how clean another person’s kitchen/they are…”
It would never occur to me in a million years to be squeamish if someone else brought in food for a potluck. That seems a little germaphobic to me!
I focused on the “workplace” aspect of the gifting and was flooded by negative memories. I just remembered that for 20+ years, a group of us who met as young moms has had an annual get together slightly after the holidays. Until we all agreed that we were too busy to search for white elephants, we exchanged some hilarious and some rather desirable gifts. It was fun - no grabbing the good things, some bartering, all good natured. New theory - the success and level of enjoyment of white elephant or small gift exchanges depends on the participants.
BTW, I love potlucks, but have only been involved in those where I trust the state of participants kitchens!
I think some people are either tchotchke people or they aren’t!
About potlucks. I’ve got one work group that gets so “excited” about trading emails among 45+ people, who will bring what- and tends to ignore the fact most have already said they’ll bring a salad or dessert. They end up with 5 salads, 8 desserts (usually pies, often the same sort, c’mon,) and 2 other dishes, 15 people. I don’t “have to” go- and don’t.
In the other group, we work off-prem, usually from home. We’re lucky if the office suggests we go use the Keurig or grab a water from the fridge. Both of these are for a U and I have fond memories of the days when U catering was in the budget.
Potlucks among my foodie friends are another matter.
Foodie friends are another thing altogether. Not sure that Potluck is the correct term for them
I would
definitely eat! Maybe beg for leftovers, even.
My strategy for the Yankee Swap is to bring something I would like for myself. If I don’t want to steal anything already opened then I open mine (since it is anonymous no one knows I brought it). If someone steals it, no big deal that means whoever stole it wanted it and didn’t get stuck with it. At that point I always steal vs open a new present because “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”.
I’m leaving my company at the end of this year. We’re going to have one of those white elephant things in the next week or so. Whatever I receive, I’m just leaving in my office so whoever inherits my office can re-gift it next year if they so desire, or it goes in the trash. There truly isn’t ever anything at these things that is worth keeping. Talking fish, really tacky statuettes that people received as wedding gifts from ancient relatives …
All our neighborhood parties are pot luck to some extent or another. I can’t imagine being squeamish about them. Besides we have a lot of good cooks!