Although I understand the distaste for gift giving at work, I am surprised at the intense dislike for the Yankee Swaps in social settings outside of work. Prior to this last move, we went to one yearly at our neighborhood Christmas party. Everybody got three turns which ensured there was lots of swapping and lots of laughs. There were always a couple of nice gifts but most were funny things. We always had a great time.
I am easily able to fake it. No, seriously. I’d laugh along with everyone else and you’d have no idea that inside I’d be thinking “oh, goodness, please, let’s just finish this game and move on.” I guarantee no one other than the people on this board would know I wasn’t having fun 
In the workplace, I think you have to fake enthusiasm for certain things. It’s part of leadership. As a senior member in my company, I can’t just sit there and grump.
^This. I was a good sport with these things, even though for the life of me I could not understand all the glee over “stealing” etc. You go along when you need to.
Since I always ended up,more the “loser” side, I have become an expert at the nod and smile.
I remember playing a white elephant game at a holiday party with a mom’s group from my church many years ago. Guests were supposed to bring something from home that they wanted to get rid of–no buying anything. I guess you had to be there, but I remember tears of laughter at some of the stuff that people brought-- a bag of half-moldy turnips from the back of someone’s fridge? Stolen (“for the horses. . .”) A bag of unmatched socks? Stolen. A plastic angel figurine with a broken wing that a kid had repaired by attaching a bird’s feather with a rubber band, a misshapen snowman candle that had spent the summer in a hot attic (I stole that one). . . Super funny. So what if you took your “gift” home and put it in the trash?
If I ever play this game again, I will wonder if everyone is just pretending to enjoy it. 
I have been reading this thread with interest. I experienced the white elephant gift exchange and had lots of laughs. But we did not spend any money on the gift. Like atomom, we just brought something from home. I would be upset if I was obligated to spend $20 on a gag gift. Twenty dollars can buy a nice gift, so why throw that money away on something that might be tossed?
To me the critical factor is the amount of money spent.
I’ve never liked it. This year it was optional for our group of about 20 people. $10 limit. As it turned out, 10 participated. There was a limit of two steals. The two gifts that were worthwhile got stolen twice, and two people left satisfied. Everything else was junk.
I participated, against my better judgment, came away with something useless as always, and wish I’d abstained. Next year I will. Would rather just bake something and set it out in the office area, which I’ll probably do this week anyway.
Never participated in Yankee swaps or gift exchanges at work.
Wasn’t part of the work culture and in some firms I’ve worked for, prohibited due to possible concerns over conflicts of interest. And managers/higher-ups participating in gift giving and/or receiving gifts were definitely out for the same reasons.
Never heard of the concept of a Yankee swap. And considering the competitiveness of some colleagues I’ve had…having a Yankee swap would have likely ended very badly with much ill-will/anger and in a few cases…possible physical confrontations if the rest of the group didn’t immediately step in to restrain the more hypercompetitive high-strung folks in some of the work group I was a part of.
I don’t understand how the boss can be required to spend more, if it is a stealing game, then one person, who gets the boss’ gift, gets something better than all others
If a gift exchange leads to a physical confrontation, those individuals need serious anger management.
Maybe a virtual yankee swap.
Romani, it’s another example of imagination gone wild. Normal people with normal social skills aren’t physically confronting one another over these games.
“When I lived in Germany companies gave each other presents. By late December our conference room was filled with stollen, wine and other goodies. The bosses then distributed it to us in some reasonably equitable way (keeping some of the best stuff for themselves!)”
I don’t think that’s a German thing. For as long as I can remember, our company has received presents from our suppliers - same concept, gift baskets of food that are put out for everyone to enjoy.
I am the giver of gifts to clients. It’s always something for everyone to share and vips get something special. Vips aren’t necessarily managers, but key people who help us.
If we ever receive anything, which is rare from our vendors now, we put it out to share.
We call Yankee swap pollyanna here. I’ve done it with book clubs where it was silly and funny and neighborhood parry. I think the key to it being fun is people need to be friends.
Mostly you have to put out all the gifts to share under anti bribery policies…
I’m considering buying one of those huge chocolate bars from trader Joes and taping 5 instant lotto tickets to it. $10. I’m so over it.
Ok, my understanding of “white elephant” gift exchanges is that everyone brings something gently used, that is no longer wanted, but you think someone else might want. There is generally no emphasis on being “tacky”.
It’s all about thrift and recycling while still being generous.
I admit, I only took part in these exchanges as a teen - in my group of friends, if one of us had birthday sleepover party, the hostess would often have such “white elephant” exchange instead of the guests (we were all from low-income families) having to buy new gifts. We all liked the exchange. We would often bring clothing or jewelry we no longer wanted, vinyl records (yes, I just dated myself…), etc. All potentially useful things.
The unspoken rule was the recycled gift should be in good shape, working order, etc. In other words, no one gave a gift that was really trash and should be thrown out - and we’d been offended and hurt if someone had done that. It was not the purpose of the exchange to be goofy and insulting - but rather, like I said before, to recycle something useful or nice one had already but no longer wanted for oneself…
When my D was younger, she was one of those quirky kids who never wanted anything as a gift and got annoyed when she got gifts she never knew she wanted and still didn’t. So, I requested the “white elephant” exchange at her parties and described what it was. The girls often exchanged used barbie dolls, books, games, etc.
Many parents thanked me - although some actually expressed remorse that I’d deprived their child of “the joy of buying a gift” for my D. Okay, then.
White elephant is a euphemism for “good lord what would anyone do with that!” So tacky is kind of implied. A Yankee swap is more what you are describing.
Aren’t many of us at that stage in life where we don’t want any more stuff? So for that reason we don’t participate in gift exchanges any more. Quite frankly, if our extended family did the white elephant (meaning something you already have, not something purchased), I would consider participating for the fun of it.
That’s how I see white elephant too - something really odd and useless someone gave you that you scratch your head over what to do with it.
My son was agonizing over what to get for his company’s “Secret Santa” gift exchange. He just figured it out: Amazon gift card. I said, good choice!