<p>OK, this is abit of a bit*h thread, but I admit that I’m worn out and this is the cafe. I remember my mother telling me (the eldest) that she was worn out by the third…and I am…worn out. The applications are in for my senior. All that is left is the wait and the decision. I have to admit that I really, really don’t care…and yet I do. But here I am on CC with all the angst and all the high expectations. I have to think…am I through? Is CC over for me? Am I turning into a curmudgeon? Is this it? My wallet is empty (now that I’m on the third). My heart does not palpitate over the common app or the FAFSA or the Profile…I dread the spring finaid letters. OK phew glad I got that off my chest. My H thinks I’m crazy. Love all you unknown people out there. Perhaps I just need to stay in the Cafe for awhile until I get my bearings or at least until December arrives with the thick and thin envelopes…or really until March and April when the thin letters with finaid arrive. </p>
<p>My friend just sent pics of her great (or great great) grandfather Yale 1900. And I want to transport myself. It was all so…calm looking. I’m actually feeling sorry for S1 (class of '11) just starting his career and his raises come in tiny increments and S2 who will graduate next spring. Is that too bourgeoise?</p>
<p>Go do something nice for yourself. Go for dinner and a movie with a friend, get yourself a pedicure, whatever will nourish you. Contemplate all the time you will have for things you enjoy when your nest empties next fall.</p>
<p>Burnout happens. So does rejuvenation. And venting is good!</p>
<p>I haven’t left either. But I truly understand where you are coming from. I’ve ventured over to the Parents Forum and all the angst! It’s really hard and I do remember it. But I’m so glad and so over it. Just want to talk about recipes and clothes and don’t want to argue and talk statistics. ;)</p>
<p>I do understand the worry about Financial Aid. I think that was the worst and even though I think it’s changed with the estimator, you know that’s not a constant. Tired of dreaming about how it’s all going to end and wanting it to be over.</p>
<p>Yes, burnout is a good word. Last night I shot up in bed and wondered if I had missed a deadline for the Profile. WTH? My last one is so calm…but so trusting that I’m all over this and yet, by the third one you wonder if you REALLY are all over it. (No ED so I have not missed any deadlines!) My dear 85 year old mom keeps reminding me that the admission person came to OUR house when I applied for college. (And she did and took me out for Chinese and we had a nice “talk.”) Sigh.</p>
<p>I have maintained for several years now that CC needs a separate forum for post-college issues and then (but no time soon) one for grandkids. There is not a better place for support with college issues but life for our kids does not stop upon graduation.</p>
<p>(To the OP–hang in there. I’m on #3 too but am not feeling particularly burned out. Just a tiny bit apathetic, at least compared to the first two.)</p>
<p>I’m on my third, a hs jr. I hit the wall and quit motherhood about twice a month. I get about 12hrs and miss it. I have wonderful girlfriends who have kids around the same age and are good sounding boards. Someone is usually up for coffee or cocktails. Last night at 5:30 on the way to the market I decided that drinks with the girls was a much better proposition then fighting the Friday night crowd. I sent out a text (via voice recognition) and within 5minutes had gotten responses from 3 friends that were available, we picked a spot and we were sitting with drinks in hand by 6pm. It was a much needed release for all of us who have college kids, and a few younger.</p>
<p>I agree that there should be a forum for post college at least. We are so blessed that many experienced parents choose to stick around and add much needed knowledge and balance. It may be more enticing for more people to stay on if they had their own forum to identify with.</p>
<p>^^I should have done that! My house was empty last night with H gone to the hinterlands looking for Bambi and #3 out for the evening with friends and I was definitely “burned” out on the college thing and the mom thing. There is a foot at least of folders sitting on my desk next to the monitor containing all of 3s potential college “stuff”…I moved them so they are behind me and I can’t see them.</p>
<p>Momofthree–you’re my hero, I am worn out just helping ONE apply to colleges!! (Our oldest son had other issues not related to college…DH has two kids from first marriage who are much older and handled college with their mom.)</p>
<p>Anyway,
I have definitely had moments of my give-sh#@tter being broke. Post-college transitions/mid-life issues would be a welcome new board for me.</p>
<p>Momofthree – I had some of those same feelings when my 2nd child was applying to college. It had been 4 years since doing it with the first and getting back into the process was alot of “been there, done that”. I often had to remind myself that this was my2nd child’s first, and only, time through the process and that I needed to stay as positive about it as possible. That didn’t mean I didn’t give myself permission to back away when necessary. It also helped that S2 was better at staying on top of things than S1 was.</p>
<p>S2 graduated college this past spring and I’m still here, so don’t feel like we’ll abandon you or you won’t be welcome.</p>
<p>Ah thanks…I just don’t want to turn into a snarky mean grumpy person. I’ll have to take a lesson from Mom2…she’s got this rhythm going on the financial aid board. Wash, rinse, repeat. I’ve got it bad though…S2 told me last month he could graduate a semester early and I said “oh that’s great dear, I’m so happy/proud for you” and inside I’m thinking “yes! that’s $15,000 I don’t have to spend” and “wow, two kids graduating from college we’re beating the odds.” My son says that his adviser told him to call us because we would be happy…I’m guessing the prof has kids in college.</p>
<p>Hmmm, don’t a lot of us in the cafe deal with post college issues? I mean really…when we were paying college tuition who had time or money for vacations, new cars, restaurants, new appliances, new houses or major remodeling? </p>
<p>Once the kids were OUT of college, these began for us! </p>
<p>Next year at this time you’ll be wondering about how to deal with having the kidlets home for the holidays…you deserve to vent now!</p>
<p>So true. I wonder if my husband and I can remember how to make dinner for two? I was actually trying to remember what we did make for dinner before the kids. Feeding three big, tall boys has me firmly in the quantity nitch…how wonderful to buy 2 pork chops, buy a steak and split it…make a batch of cookies and have them last more than an hour or a box of cereal and a gallon of milk lasting more than a day. There IS a silver lining. Only one will be home again for Christmas. The oldest works in the resort industry so Christmas is a busy time and he can never get enough time off to make it worth the $$ (in his mind) to fly home for a day or two.</p>
<p>So there are roughly three types of parents on CC - A) with all kids already in college and possible some have done with college; b) with some kids in and some to come; and c) with very young kids.</p>
<p>My guess is that we have more type A in the cafe and the hot topics are retirement and health. </p>
<p>I have one last year of FASFA/profile to do and 5 more quarters of bills to pay. </p>
<p>Looking back, I sometimes wonder what were the fuzz about college applications.</p>
<p>My S2 graduated college in 2011 and I plan to be here for many years to come. I’m so glad that’s all behind me. Now, it’s just a matter of nudging the “children” toward self-sufficiency. Although, truth be told, I wish S2 was a bit less self-sufficient and needed us more. :(</p>
<p>Momof3, I remember feeling just like you. Done! Yeah!! but now that my youngest is a college junior and my middle is a college senior, I’m hearing it’s not quite done yet. My youngest wants to apply to medical school and my middle is talking about graduate school in his future. Sure, I’ve had a break, but it’s still not over. You could say parents aren’t or shouldn’t be as involved in graduate level applications, and I’m not. But I still feel that angst. The wallet will still be smoking. And I’ll still have those nightmares about deadlines DS missed.</p>
<p>Momof3 – your sons will thank you some day for all you’ve done. It’s always the moms who get most involved, isn’t it? I only have 2, and I feel like I’m only figuring it out now on the second one, but I don’t think I could live through shepherding a third child through this process.</p>
<p>Detach. Relax. Breathe. It will all be fine. Maybe (college-wise) he’ll be like the plant you forgot to water, and one day, you turn around and it’s bursting up to the sky. :)</p>
I have wonderful girlfriends who have kids around the same age and are good sounding boards. Someone is usually up for coffee or cocktails. Last night at 5:30 on the way to the market I decided that drinks with the girls was a much better proposition then fighting the Friday night crowd. I sent out a text (via voice recognition) and within 5minutes had gotten responses from 3 friends that were available, we picked a spot and we were sitting with drinks in hand by 6pm. It was a much needed release for all of us who have college kids, and a few younger.</p>