So I have news relating to son’s friend who will be a freshman next year at UNC-CH!
Born male, she identifies as female and is taking hormones, but no surgery. Mom told me family is working w ACLU and UNC has said they will not violate Title IX -which requires the school to let her live (and pee) according to the gender she identifies with. …YAY!! Apparently, even though this new executive order requires all public schools to follow #HB2 … UNC isn’t going to…
I am happy that the family is working with ACLU so if the school reneges or something ACLU will file suit on her behalf. As she is OOS, it is costing the family a large sum of money to attend; they are scared to death to attend given this law… They said the staff at UNC-CH has expressed nothing but utter contempt for this law and indicated that many many alumni donors have stopped donations, conferences have pulled out and over 60 companies have pulled out of coming to UNC to recruit until the bill is repealed!!
I have heard it has cost the state over a billion dollars so far… AND I WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT THERE HAS BEEN NOT ONE CASE EVER OF A TRANSGENDER INDIVIDUAL ASSAULTING SOMEONE IN A BATHROOM…
A Billion dollars and counting for a problem that doesn’t exist in the first place… This, IMO, is absolutely insane!
@Pizzagirl I am a (female) airline pilot not a lawyer … experienced discrimination in my youth… but it seems to have evolved into a nonissue these days… I rarely get a second glance or comment from passengers or fellow pilots…
@IxnayBob Skidmore definitely seems like an LGBT friendly school (and NY is an LGBT friendly state). My daughter is going to University of Illinois (and IL is an LGBT friendly state). I was amazed by the number of LGBT organizations on campus and the resources available. I am not worried at all about her being uncomfortable or discriminated against there. I have to admit that I am worried for @runswimyoga 's son’s friend who will be attending school in NC, even if the school is saying they won’t violate Title IX and won’t follow #HB2. What they’re saying now and what they actually do might be two very different things.
@Scylla I have a gay son that will be attending college in the fall also, and we did the same- scouring LGBT friendly reviews and avoiding states that seemed inhospitable! The only thing we were disappointed about was Campus Pride that rates many schools… that was great, but the ratings were based upon the resources and facilities the schools offer for lgbt as opposed to actual real life climate as reported by students… We wish they would include that… Princeton Review’s does however so hopefully you checked their LGBT Friendly guide out too…
My (gay) son choose a school that was rated #1 lgbt friendly (Penn) and already we have had a roommate refuse to room w my son solely bc he is gay… ugh hurtful, and disappointing Couldn’t they have blamed it on anything else like personal reasons… did they really have to say it?? SMH… but We are hoping that was just a fluke… U IL should be good!! And your right I am totally worried for her bc I’m sure UNC might renege but at least ACLU is on it…
@IxnayBob Rooting for your son!! Skidmore is a great school… Any problems don’t hesitate to call the ACLU they are super happy to help.
Just so happy that kids can be themselves and don’t have to hide in closets anymore!!!
I’m worried about that too, Scylla. In this volatile climate and with the UNC president having a history of being ignorant (at the least) about LGBT issues, I’m not sure she’ll stand up to the state if push comes to shove. It’s good to have the ACLU in your friend’s corner though, @runswimyoga . That’s unfortunately what it’s going to take to fix this – lawsuits. Maybe theirs will be the case which makes it all the way to SCOTUS and results in LGBT becoming a protected class so they can’t be discriminated against by anyone anywhere.
For those reading along who are still making lists of colleges, Earlham College is extremely LGBTQ friendly. It’s in Indiana which has had its own skirmishes in the discrimination wars, but I’d bet Earlham would practice civil disobedience before they’d allow their students to be bullied. They are very committed to the community.
@runswimyoga My daughter is in the roommate search process right now. She hasn’t encountered that sort of discrimination yet, but she wants to dorm in a dorm (LLC, actually) that is known to be socially progressive, artsy and accepting of all people. So, the potential roomies she has been targeting also want to live in that dorm. She hasn’t gotten confirmation she is in that dorm yet, but she wrote a great essay on why she wants to live there (which was optional, but advisable) and has much to offer the LLC. I’m pretty sure she’ll be offered a room there. Does Penn have a dorm or living learning community (LLC) that is LGBT friendly?
ETA: Yes, apparently they do! There is a dorm/SLO (special living option) called ALLY house. Has your son looked into it?
If they really wanted to make bathrooms safer they’d ban male elected Republican officials from bathrooms, as several have been arrested for bathroom hijinks. But then they’d basically be banning themselves, so I guess that’s a no-go.
On a somewhat ironic note, I was reading an article about the impact to NC where they interviewed several residents. One resident in support of HB2 complained that the companies boycotting NC were discriminating against them (HB2 supporters) by pulling out. Oh the irony…
Haven’t heard of the Ally house, maybe that s at Penn State? Son is going to University Of Pennsylvania- from what we understand they have gender neutral housing that is spread throughout all of their dorms… so you don’t get a special dorm so to speak you just get a gender neutral room within the dorm…But son, didn’t apply for that bc he wanted to do a special living learning program… he just chatted on the Facebook page and found someone he thought had many things in common with…
he is in Wharton (which is business), we kind of thought it might be less accepting than the College of Arts and Sciences kids… but its illegal to discriminate in Business so hopefully that student will learn that esp if he wants to succeed in business…
We called Penn about the experience and they were very supportive… connected him with the LGBT center and they offered to connect him with students from their center for support and to brainstorm… he actually went up there and met w students that he met thru the Tinder app (scary!!) (Why do they all insist on Tinder??) but they became good friends and brought him to a party at the LGBT center so he feels a good sense of community there so far.
Anyway now on the Facebook page someone said “where are my fellow LGBT students at”… and 56! have responded- they started their own “group me page” and are negotiating rooming together and talking about life in general … giving him Prom outfit tips (what do same sex male couple wear to look hip?) … lol so I’m confident he will be ok.
@ucbalumnus It was the parent That objected. The student agreed to room and everything was great but then the student called my son on phone an told him his parents were not ok with their son having a gay roommate and therefore he was wanting to back out from rooming together bc my son is gay…
I just wish that student would have refused to tell my son those discriminating words… instead just told him “bc of personal reasons I am going to have to back out” … Did he really need to hurt my son like that?
And judging by the searches, apparently North Carolinians are QUITE interested in gay/trans. It won’t let me copy the quote, but it’s the third paragraph.
Maybe he thought that honest about his parents’ prejudices would be less hurtful than an unexplained backing out that would leave your son wondering and suspicious? Though it seems like he may have guessed incorrectly, from your point of view at least.
@ucbalumnus yes, I understand, but like the phrase “if you can’t say anything nice don’t say it at all” not saying anything at all would have been much preferred… Thoughts like “I wonder…” don’t hurt like real ugly-in-your-face words of discrimination do…
You have to realize most out gay HS kids have been bullied in HS and made to feel lesser… they are told it gets better and they are looking for it to be better in college… this brings back fear… he was so excited to go to college…
He got off the phone feeling sub human, demeaned, frustrated and misunderstood… he even was told “We are a Christian family and therefore don’t accept homosexuals” as if my son isn’t Christian or had a choice to be gay or not…
The actual words were hurtful and they stung …surely “I’m going to have to ask to back out of rooming together for reasons that have nothing at all to do with you personally…” would be preferred by anyone
Horrible @runswimyoga. Your S is well rid of them - these parents would have found some way of making his life miserable. I actually feel sympathy for their own S as well - what they are teaching him will make college life difficult and insular for him.
Yep @HarvestMoon1 . And as the culture gets more and more gay-friendly – which it will despite these last-gasp hate spasms – that kid will be more and more left out of it.
We chose a ‘friendly State’ to LGBT people for our son to go to college, I’m not worried about his campus life but whenever LGBT people make progress there are push backs from the community.
For eg. After SCOTUS ruled for marriage equality the number of hate crimes increased even in ‘progressive states’
I worry constantly about my son during these times of opposing passionate views.
My hat’s off to the parents of LGBT kids on this thread who took that into consideration when looking at colleges. I need to hear those stories to reaffirm my faith in humanity in the face of all these anti-LGBT bills, which should more appropriately be called hate legislation.
@sly123, think it’s only natural to worry but in the states were same sex marriage has been legal well before the SCOTUS ruling and also where sexual orientation is protected from discrimination these things are non issues. They are the last things on anyone’s mine.
Tbh, I’m sure there are isolated incidences but all in all I never hear from friends with gay kids that they are worried. Plus, for this generation of kids they couldn’t care less if someone is LBGQT.
LasMa. I understand the current state of the law. That doesn’t make it right.
Those decisions will have greater implications. It is indeed about marriage, and pretty much marriage alone. Marriage is a religious sacrament to many Christians (apparently not all). Those people’s beliefs should be respected, the same as any other minority beliefs need to be respected.
ThinkProgress is not a legitimate site. It’s merely propaganda.
