<p>Beyond Ebonics: How I Taught Black Children To Read–thats funny</p>
<p>Essay #2</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Why Everyone Thinks I’m Shy But I’m Really Not</p>
<p>“Pimp my Ride”</p>
<p>“I wear a trench coat long enough to conceal a sniper rifle”</p>
<p>“How I killed the Kennedy’s”</p>
<p>Why asians are superior…</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>my childhood memories: lynching my neighbors</p>
<p>“Slavery-a fine institution”
“A Childhood Memory-A Christmas with the Klan”
“My Television debut-a tell all of my experiences with Jerry Springer”
“Why illiteracy isn’t that bad”
“Genital Herpes, go away”
“Nuke France”
“My baby’s daddy”
“Battling Adversity-when my butler died”</p>
<p>“Contrary to popular belief, it’s possible to be both the uncle and son of the same person–the secret’s in …”</p>
<p>Why i am smarter than you!!</p>
<p>“Contrary to popular belief, it’s possible to be both the uncle and son of the same person–the secret’s in …”</p>
<p>What the hell??? If you could prove that, then you might get in.</p>
<p>“I’ve been homeschooled my whole life, so of COURSE I’m not anti-social – friends, what are those?”</p>
<p>“I’ve been homeschooled my whole life, so of COURSE I’m rich – financial aid, what are those?”</p>
<p>“Life is not for quitters- why we should do away with AA meetings”
“How to fake a DNA test”
“How to Fake a drug test”
“How to fake qualifying for extended time on SAT’s”
“Why I should be a TA and Proctor exams at your fine institution”
“My musical talent- I play the radio”
“Beer chugging as a Div. I sport”</p>
<p>:) 
:mad: :rolleyes: 
:eek: My life in smilies</p>
<p>“Why would anyone go to college for 4 years just to become an adcomm?”</p>
<p>“My life as a skibum”</p>
<p>“My career goal- a conman”</p>
<p>What a 5000 dollar check can buy …</p>
<p>“Why I want to go to Harvard/Yale/Princeton/Stanford/MIT/CalTech”
(before sending in essay, circle one)</p>
<p>“I’m Black!” (can substitute with Native American or Hispanic)</p>
<p>“I’m a recruited athlete, so what I write here doesn’t matter”</p>
<p>“A homosexual, beard-loving, tonedeaf fanatic- why the Taliban was right for me”</p>
<p>“The reasons the Common Application is awesome- its why I bothered to apply to you!”</p>
<p>“Where there is a bamboo stick, there is a way- a guide to Asian parenting”</p>
<p>“I’m a Chinese violin-playing chess-mastering math genious who wants to be a doctor”</p>
<p>“Affirmitive Action- my ticket to Harvard”</p>
<p>“Aaron Burr- my role model and the epitome of Princetonian values” (use this when applying to Princeton</p>
<p>“Why I need a single dorm room”</p>
<p>lolololol! These essay titles are great! Here’s two more:
- “Life is too short-what I learned as I watched Fluffy’s life ebb away”
- “It’s not easy being a blonde-the story of my life”</p>
<p>warblersrule86 1 is from On writing the college application essay by harry bauld? In any case it’s an excellent book more people should read it.</p>
<p>Another one from the book is:
“How I learned to work with people through wrestling”</p>