<p>“Do people really have many occasions to wear long gowns?”</p>
<p>I had two weddings one summer where I needed a long gown. Weddings were family members so I needed to buy two. They were at very different types of venues - one at an Inn in Maine and one very fancy venue in Manhattan. Neither gown was appropriate for both. </p>
<p>“It’s a ceremony, not a magazine photo shoot. And mothers of the bride do no more than any other guest. They walk down the aisle with an usher, just like everybody else who is seated and watching the happy couple take their vows.”</p>
<p>Not always, Fang. At Jewish weddings it is very common to see both sets of parents under the Chuppah and they do things during the ceremony. The MOB might help lift the bride’s veil, for example or parents might drape Tallis over the bride and grooms shoulders. They might sip from wine glass, etc., etc. </p>
<p>Cardinal fang-- I understand your point. Certainly not everyone will perceive wearing the same dress as not caring, but I think the bride and groom should be asked. And since we have pages of discussion with differing opinions, I think my point about people gossiping about it is a probability. We can go on and of course say that those people are superficial and it’s not their business, but clearly the OP is aware it is an issue or she would not have posed the question. </p>
<p>Here is Miss Manners on what the bride has to say about the dress of the mother of the groom:</p>
<p>
<a href=“Miss Manners: Trust groom’s mother’s taste in dresses | The Spokesman-Review”>http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2014/mar/19/miss-manners-trust-grooms-mothers-taste-in-dresses/</a></p>
<p>“Do people really have many occasions to wear long gowns? I have actually never attended an event that required it, not in my entire life!”</p>
<p>My closet is extremely stream-lined at this point. Sometimes I’m at an event where most women are in gowns, but I don’t wear one.</p>
<p>My formal wear:
one gray ankle length silk dress
one ankle length black velvet dress
two ankle length black silk skirts (with different embellishments)
two black silk tops
one black velvet top</p>
<p>For the sort of event, I assume emily is referencing I’m going to add some very fancy accessories and my best jewelry. </p>
<p>I am hoping to be able to wear the gray silk dress to the next kid’s wedding because I love it. I bought it with the idea it would take me many places including the next wedding. We shall see.</p>
<p>adding: the last time I thought I needed a gown I headed to one of my sister’s houses to try and retrieve some of our mother’s because, once again, I thought they were better than I was going to be able to buy - but another sister and her daughters had already cleaned out that closet! : )</p>
<p>I did manage to snag a couple of very nice evening bags they hadn’t noticed. One was my grandmother’s.</p>
<p>I don’t think most brides will tell the MOG what to wear - but I definitely told my future MIL what color her dress needed to be. Also, since it was a black tie evening wedding and my mother would be wearing a long dress, long would be most appropriate for her to wear. My matron of honor and maid of honor (only attendants I had) were also in long, but different dresses. They also both had free reign to chose any dress they wanted - as long as it was long and pink. </p>
<p>My parents and in laws had tables of guests that were either their relatives, business associates or their friends. They were way closer to them than my husband and I (and in some cases I met them at the wedding for the first time.) They were obviously on the list as guests of my parents or in laws. This elevated parents and in laws to host and hostess, not mere guests. </p>
<p>emilybee, I’m somewhat surprised that an event at an inn in Maine would require a formal long gown! Would you mind telling me where it was?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I think the world is diminished by pandering to small-mindedness. </p>
<p>Yes, it was at Spruce Point Inn in Boothbay. </p>
<p>Wedding ceremony was outdoors at dusk, overlooking the bay. Cocktail party was also outdoors. Dinner and dancing was in a banquet room they have on the property. Took a lot of effort on my sister’s part to make room look as elegant as she wanted. (Remember we talked about this before - how she had to get everything in Boston or NYC because there was no place in Maine which had what she wanted.) </p>
<p>Not everyone was in long, but I wanted to. MOB, MOB, GOB all wore long. </p>
<p>I wore a Milly gown. Something sort of like this one, but colors were pink, green, yellow. </p>
<p><a href=“MILLY Official Site | Shop Summer 2023 New Arrivals”>http://www.millyny.com/catalog/product/view/id/116971/s/winter-orchid-ava-gown</a></p>
<p>I do not understand why this thread hasn’t been tagged a feature thread by the powers that be. I was away from my computer for 4 hours and when I came back, I had 56 notifications. 55 were for this thread. If there ever was a hot topic… 
</p>
<p>I didn’t tell my MIL what to do, Cardinal Fang. I simply said that I cried when I saw it. Not in front of her, but privately. And then, of course, I got over it and life moved on. </p>
<p>I was a bridesmaid once for a friend - we had tea length dresses, nude hose (these were the days when wearing hose was de rigeuer - not like today). The groom"s sister (another bridesmaid) showed up wearing heavy black fishnet stockings, which were inappropriate and looked awful. You don’t think my friend had a right to be pissed? </p>
<p>And no one here is talking about dictating what guests wear, so don’t go after that strawman. </p>
<p>Sorry folks, I didn’t read 171 posts. My mother wore the same dress to both my sister and brother’s weddings. Unfortunately she died before mine or it could have been all 3!</p>
<p>It is harder to find nice dresses now than decades ago. Plus, once you find “the perfect dress” how are you going to find as good a one for son #2? Also- how often would you be able to wear a dress like that?</p>
<p>"And mothers of the bride do no more than any other guest. They walk down the aisle with an usher, just like everybody else who is seated and watching the happy couple take their vows. "</p>
<p>You cannot be serious that MOB/MOG are just like any other guest. </p>
<p>That’s why we are having this discussion in the first place. If someone said, I’m going to a random wedding as a guest and I want to wear the same dress that I wore at some other wedding 6 years ago, no one would have thought twice - of course, re-wear it. The OP is talking about two MOG situations. It’s different precisely because the MOG is not just another guest. </p>
<p>I find it fascinating that there are so many issues at play here. Of course all would be well if OP liked to shop and on one of her enjoyable shopping trips found a dress that she really liked. But then we wouldn’t have this thread . . . I think people who like to shop really cannot understand the pain that those of us who dislike shopping can experience. Also, how much time do we expect to OP to devote to this effort? Or, how inferior a dress should we expect her to settle for? One she likes half as much? </p>
<p>I do see why someone would think twice about wearing the same MOG gown to two sons’ weddings, but since OP has not found a second dress that she likes, I truly am curious what the advice would be about how long she should keep looking and at what point she should settle for something she really doesn’t like, just to have a different dress. </p>
<p>"$400-500ish.</p>
<p>Does everybody here have that kind of cash to spend on something they already own? Sorry, it feels so materialistic and superficial to me. The wedding isn’t all about the MOG or MOB anyway."</p>
<p>If the OP had just started a thread saying - hey my son is getting married, I’m in the market for a dress, any suggestions - and people chimed in with thoughts and suggestions - would that be “materialistic and superficial” if it turned out she had a formal dress in her closet from the previous wedding, or for some other event? Does the mere presence of another piece of clothing in the same overall category make a purchase materialistic and superficial? </p>
<p>^ Chocciechip (I think that is her screen name) loves to find MOB/MOG dresses! If she started a thread “Looking for MOG dress” Choccie would get right on it. She would do all the looking for OP. Others would chime in with suggestions. </p>
<p>Just wanted to mention that our OP is definitely not a MOGzilla! 
MOGzillas and MOBzillas do not solicit opinions of others about what they should wear - they do not give a rat’s behind because they “know better”.</p>
<p>One thing, OP: I know you said the dress is classic and fits you well… I would still ask friends for independent opinions on whether it still looks current. While the cut could be timeless, certain details (ruching, trim, beading) can make the dress look somewhat dated. If it passes the test - wear it in good health, just bling it out with some new shoes and accessories. And congratulations on the soon to be second successful launch! :)</p>
<p>I am amazed that many of you can remember not only what you wore but what others wore years ago. I can’t remember what I wore yesterday. OP- Wear what you want and have a good time. Congratulations!</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s tacky but to each his/her own. We’re getting married just a few weeks before my fiance’s brother is getting married and since MOG is buying a dress to wear, I don’t think anyone expects her to buy two. I certainly don’t care and neither do my fiance or FBIL. I can’t imagine my FSIL caring either. The pictures are almost never going to be seen together and if they are, so what? Everyone’s looking at the bride anyway </p>
<p>OP, best wishes on the new addition to your family! </p>